A Killer's Elegy
by Winged Seraph
Summary: Saints and Sinners 3: Angela's past can't seem to leave her alone. How far will she go to keep her serial killer side but hold onto the man she loves? NICKOC/AU VERSE
1. Episode 3x01

**A/N: **_Welcome back to my little corner of the CSI Verse. _

_THIS IS THE THIRD AND FINAL PART OF THE "SAINTS AND SINNERS" TRILOGY featuring Angela Wilkins. If you have not read "Saints and Sinners" or "Funeral of a Good Girl" you will be LOST reading this. Do go check those out first. _

_If you already have then welcome back and please enjoy!  
_

**Episode 3x01: If You Can't Beat Them, Kill Them**

"And then just add a drizzle of E.V.O.O. and you're all set to go!"

I looked away from the brunette on Food Network and stared at the items I had scattered all over my kitchen countertop. "What the fuck is EVOO?"

Giving up, I wiped my hands of the flour that had accumulated there before tossing down my dishrag. It had been two whole weeks since the Powers that Be down at the station had put both myself and Dara on paid leave for a month. The time walled up inside the house with really nothing to do but wait on Nick to return was slowly driving me insane. Christ, I was even trying to cook. If that wasn't a sign of the apocalypse, I didn't know what was.

A bark echoed through the house and I watched Fuddles come barreling at full speed into the kitchen. He barked excitedly again the moment he saw me. I smiled and tossed lettuce into the floor, the small terrier pouncing on it immediately. He devoured the morsel before begging for more, a request I denied with a wag of my finger.

I watched him sniff around disappointedly before disappearing again into the living room and with a small sigh, I picked up my cutting knife.

"All this Betty Crocker nostalgia is leaving a bad taste in my mouth."

Knife in the air, I stared at the television screen.

"Ignoring me are we? That's not very nice Angela."

I looked down and began to chop vegetables in a quick motion. If it killed me I was going to make something for Nick when he came home in the morning, something eatable and not burnt.

Fingers snapped in front of my face. "Angela!"

I slammed the knife down onto the counter. My head snapped to the side. "What?" I stared at myself. "What is this?"

"This?" My duplicate motioned down at the shirt and jeans it wore. "You don't like it?"

"This isn't funny."

"You're right, it's not. This is a very sad situation you've gotten us into Angela."

I picked up the knife again. "I want you to go away." I hissed. "I don't need Nicole and I definitely don't need you."

"I thought you'd like this instead of that poor woman. You should let her rest in peace Angela, stop bringing her out to play when you have me. We're in this together and Nicole? She's…" My image tilted its head as if in thought. "She's turned to dust by now, nothing but worm food, and I don't know about you but I don't plan on being that any time soon."

I turned my head away and closed my eyes. "This isn't real. This isn't happening." I inhaled sharply through my nose. "I'm not crazy. I'm not."

"You really believe that? You're talking to yourself! How is that not crazy?"

"Because I'm not." I opened my eyes and focused on the television again. "And you're going to go away now. I don't need you. I'm not crazy." I repeated.

"You kill people. You live a double life and deep down, you hate the person you're pretending to be." My image leaned onto the counter. "I'll admit, it's all quite cozy and Nick is certainly cute." A wide smile appeared. "As are Warrick and Detective Henderson…" She straightened. "But that's all in the past and now you're stuck in this Hell watching Food Network, it's pathetic."

I gripped the knife as hard as I could and welcomed the pain that came from it. "What do you want?"

"I want things to go back to the way they used to be; I want you to be how you used to be."

"It's not that easy."

"It never is and that's what makes it fun!"

"I don't know if I want to be that person anymore." I lowered the knife. "I like how things are and now that someone else knows…"

"How long do you actually think she'll keep your secret? The first chance she gets; a promotion? A tight spot? Something to do with Warrick? She'll turn on you."

I shook my head. "You're wrong."

"You're a killer Angela. You take life where she protects it. Dara's all about the badge and right versus wrong where you just… You're judge, jury and executioner baby. Rules don't apply to you, to us. Her world? Without rules it'd crumble into a thousand tiny fucking pieces."

"It's not like that. She'll keep my secret."

"And if she doesn't? If she tells on us?"

"She won't."

"She will." My image leaned in again with a smile. "But don't worry; I'll take care of us Angela."

I barely had time to move back before the knife slammed into my stomach. Blood spurted free from my mouth and I stared up at my own face, hands pressing into the wound as she jerked the knife free and I fell to the hard linoleum.

"But don't worry." My image towered over me, the knife dripping with my blood. "I'll take care of us. Don't worry. It's time to let me take over for a while."

"No!"

I jerked awake and startled, Fuddles barked in alarm as he went flying off of my stomach. I was breathing hard as if I had been running. I ran my hands through my hair as I sat up against the pillows on the couch. My hands were shaking and I stared down at them. It had been a dream and yet it had been so real.

I stood up and walked into the kitchen. The chopped food and knife lay on the counter, the television still playing. I turned it off and for several seconds merely stared down at the knife. I wasn't sure what compelled me to pick it up. I let the sharp blade hover over my skin.

The doorbell echoed loudly through the house and Fuddles barked wildly in response. When I opened the door the last person I expected to see was Dara Waters. We stood staring at each other until I motioned her inside. Compulsion hit me again and I locked the door the second I shut it.

She didn't seem to notice as she looked around or so I thought. "Was that necessary?"

"I don't know." I let go of the door knob. "Was it?"

"I just came to talk Angela."

I moved around her to go back into the kitchen. Turning back on the television but lowering the volume, I positioned myself behind the cutting board again. "About what?"

"I wanted to see how you were." Dara stood next to the counter adjacent to me and watched as I began to cut more vegetables. "You haven't been returning any of my calls." She cleared her throat. "Or anyone else's for that matter. Greg is worried."

I kept my gaze down. "I've been busy." I informed her. "And don't act like you've been Ms. Talkative 2008 either."

"I can't say I have but I've been at least letting people know I'm okay." She sighed. "Well, maybe I'm lying because I don't know if I'll ever be okay but if that's what they want to hear…"

I raised my head to stare at her. "We all lie about something. Given your line of work, you should know that already."

"This isn't just about you and me, it's bigger than us Angela. People… depend on us to be okay, even if it's just an act. Given your line of work, you should know that already."

My eyes flashed at her, my grip tightening and I think I actually saw her take a step back. "My line of work." I smiled thinly. "Indeed."

"Angela…"

"How long do I have?"

"Excuse me?"

I kept that smile on my face because even if I wanted to, I couldn't erase it. It was as if I was moving without thinking, the words tumbling past my lips. "How long before you change your mind about me? This little dance of ours can't go on forever Dara and we both know it."

"We've already discussed this Angela. I'm not going to change my mind." She swore. "I understand why you do it and-"

"You understand." I let out a dry laugh. "Do you?" I stepped towards her and she backpedaled. "Wow, someone who finally understands me, that's refreshing."

"Angela, what are you doing?"

I backed her up until she hit the wall next to the stove. Smiling, I stretched my free hand up to press it against the wall by her head. "I want to make sure we understand each other Dara. I want to make sure that there's a level of trust here." I slammed the knife handle into the wall next to her head and chuckled when Dara jumped in surprise. "If you ever think of turning on me, I will make you regret it. I've done this for a very long time, killing people, and I'm not going to jail over some torn sense of morality. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I never see the inside of a cell. Do you understand that?"

"I understand."

I was impressed that she didn't show any fear even with a knife so close to her head. I stepped away. "Can I get you some coffee or some tea? No matter how much I try, Nick won't give up his addiction to caffeine."

"I…" She stayed where she was as I resumed my spot at the cutting board. "I can't have caffeine."

"Oh that's right!" I laughed. "Silly me." I lowered the knife and began to put everything I had chopped into the colander positioned in the sink. "You and Warrick must be very excited."

"We are."

I heard her push away from the wall but I knew she was still leery of me. I couldn't blame her, I know I would be if someone had just threatened my life. Then again I wouldn't just be leery; I'd also be arrested from having killed them. "Good."

"Angela…" She cleared her throat. "I'm never going to turn you in."

I turned on the faucet and watched the water spray the vegetables. "I apologize if I scared you. I don't know what's… Lately I've been…" I stopped and shut off the water. "Let's just say I don't usually go around threatening pregnant women."

"Well, that's a relief."

The joke fell flat but neither one of us cared.

301301301301301301301

"This is good baby; you must have spent all day making this."

I watched Nick eat. That wasn't far from the truth but only because I kept messing up and having to redo everything. Rachel Ray didn't know what she was talking about; for me there was no such thing as an easy thirty minute meal. "I'm glad you like it." I raised my wine glass to my lips and sipped. "How was work?"

"It was good, the usual you know." He smiled at me and continued to eat. "But all I could think about was coming home."

"Dara came by to see me today."

He swallowed the beans he had just shoved into his mouth. "She did?" He reached for his tea. "How's she doing?"

"She came to see me so I guess she's bored."

"Or she could have just wanted to check up on her friend."

I almost snorted into my glass. I lowered it back onto the table. "Actually she came to berate me for not answering phone calls. She doesn't understand the concept of me not wanting to talk about… things."

"It would be a good thing if you did baby, especially with her." Nick continued to eat, his eyes on mine. "You've been through a lot and I know the time off isn't helping but IA is working as fast as they can to get everything settled. And everyone is asking about how you are…"

"I'm fine."

"I know that but-"

"Nick." I shot him a look as I wiped my mouth with my napkin. "I don't want to talk about this right now."

He sighed and leaned back into his seat. "And when do you think you will want to talk about it Angela? It's been three weeks since… it happened and you haven't said a word about it to me, not one single thing."

"And what exactly would you like me to say? Would you like to compare notes on the men you've killed? I forgot; you haven't killed any so how could you possibly understand?" I threw down my napkin and stood up, taking my plate with me as I escaped into the kitchen.

I stood at the sink washing the food down the garbage disposal when I heard him leave the table. Seconds later his hands settled on my shoulders and I closed my eyes at the feeling of him leaning in to press his lips against my hair.

"I'm sorry baby. I know it's hard."

I opened my eyes and stared down at the drain where everything was swirling as it disappeared; irony in its simplest form. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to snap at you but between being stuck in this house and everyone bugging me about how I am I think I'm losing my mind."

"It'll all be over soon and you can go back to work. Things will return to normal." He turned me to face him and cupped my face with his hands. "I promise."

"I believe you." And why shouldn't I? Nick wasn't the liar in this relationship now was he?

"You really should talk to Dara."

"I will when we both go back to work."

He frowned. "From what Rick said, she might not come back."

I blinked rapidly. "What?"

"He told me she's been debating about whether or not her job on the force is the right place for her especially after the baby comes. He's worried about her. Being a cop has always been the most important thing to Dara and now it's the last thing she seems to want." Nick leaned in to press his lips to my forehead. "It's okay to be scared."

"I never said I was." I whispered.

"Neither of you have but you can't hide the truth from the people that know you the best." His eyes met mine and he smiled softly as he stroked my cheeks with his thumbs.

I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his waist, his cheek resting against the top of my head. "I'm not scared. I'm just… unsure of myself."

"And I think Dara's in the same boat as you baby. You two have more in common than you really think and if you would just take the time to talk to her, seriously talk to her, I think you might find you could really help each other out."

"I…" My eyes few open, words stuck in my throat.

Nick pulled back to smile down at me. "You?"

I smiled slowly, pressing my hands against his back. "You might be right about that."

301301301301301301301

"What in the world are you doing Angela?" I berated myself the entire ride home from the mall. "You have completely lost your mind."

It took several minutes to empty the car of all the bags but I couldn't bring myself to wake up Nick just to help me. He had worked a double shift and had barely been able to keep his eyes open at the dinner table.

Shutting the front door behind me, I dropped the bags carelessly but maintained my hold on the box that had taken up a good portion of my backseat. Fuddles came running into the living room, sniffing at me suspiciously.

"Baby?"

"Nick, what are you doing up?" I glared at him from the doorway of the kitchen and spotted the coffee mug in his hand. "You should be asleep."

"You should be asleep with me but since you're not, I got up." He smiled. He eyed the box in my hands. "Whatcha got there?"

"I went shopping." I couldn't stop my smile. "I got you something."

His eyebrows rose. "Me? Seriously?"

"No, not seriously; it's actually for me." I joked. "Yes, you." I lowered the box onto the couch and watched him approach. "Hurry and open it."

He smiled but his confusion turned to alarm when the box moved. "What in the world?" Quickly he sat the mug onto the coffee table and flipped open the box. "There's holes in the…" He looked over at me. "There's a puppy in here!"

I managed a small smile, still not altogether confident that I hadn't completely lost my mind. "I was in the mall and I went by the pet store and I just… couldn't help myself." I watched him lift the chocolate lab from the box. "I figured why not; I mean Fuddles needs a playmate and you like bigger dogs and… And I know that kids are important to you but I thought maybe one step at a time and if this was what we wanted I thought-"

My babbling was stopped as he stepped forward to press his lips against mine. He took my breath away like he always did, the caress full of words I would never be able to truly express. I smiled into the kiss at the feeling of the puppy squirmed between us, wanting to be let down on the carpet where Fuddles wildly barked for attention.

Nick broke the kiss with a chuckle and sat the puppy down next to Fuddles. We watched them sniff each other and I couldn't help but smile as the two animals began to play with each other.

I was distracted by Nick pulling me close to kiss me again. I draped my arms across his neck. "I take it you're happy with what I've done?"

"Deliriously." He brushed his lips against the corner of my mouth. "You make me so happy. I can't tell you how much."

"Maybe you should show me."

"What a great idea." He chuckled. He skimmed his hands down my side and began to lift me up when Fuddles suddenly barked again.

I groaned and looked over to see the lab finishing up with his potty break. "Puddles, no!"

"Puddles?" He burst out laughing. "You want to name him Puddles?"

"Fuddles and Puddles." I grinned. "It's poetic in its own ironic way, don't you think?"

"I think…" He kissed me several times before he released me. "That you won't be naming our children in the future."

I eyed him but didn't say anything, the conversation not really one I wanted to get into at the moment. The new dog was in its own way a step towards a family unit but I wasn't entirely gung ho about my own plan of action. For now the compensation of animals to children would have to do. For now I would continue to narrowly avoid the inevitable.

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Okay, so I lied. I haven't finished my Faith(Buffy_)_/Lost Crossover but it's being a pain so I came back to AngelaVerse. She just wouldn't let me rest. I hope you enjoyed this; I will be posting again shortly but not frequently (I started a new job so I'll be gone a lot). Please REVIEW and I'll try to post as much as time will allow!!!!!!!!!!!!_


	2. Episode 3x02

**A/N: **_Thank you for the reviews. I'm glad to be back too and very glad to see some of you back as well (HI LISA I KNOW YOU'RE READING). You guys rock! Anyway, enjoy this and I will post more soon!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ AGAIN, nothing CSI related belongs to me, only the character of Angela. No money is being made and THIS IS AU VERSE (esp Season 8) so it will not follow the show exactly. Changes have been made and I think for the better! Enjoy!_

**Episode 3x02: An Offer Dara Shouldn't Refuse**

The Chinese restaurant named Far East was one of my favorites even if it was rather close to a bad part of town. Maybe that was something that had always festered inside of me, that desire to always walk the line of dark and light just to see how long I could before I fell in either direction. I wasn't worried about anything bad happening while I was here. And no, before you ask, it's not my safety I was concerned about...

"I'm surprised you called."

It was hers. I'll never admit it to anyone but Dara reminded me of myself when I was young; I saw who I used to be when I looked at her, optimistic, law abiding. I saw weakness but most of all I saw hope. "I'm surprised you agreed to meet me."

"Why wouldn't I?" She sat in front of me and shifted on the chair as she glanced around. "Didn't this place get shot up a couple of times last year?"

"Maybe." I motioned at the waitress. "But they have good food so I try to look past minor details."

We both ordered something to drink but I was the only one that ordered food. I cocked an eyebrow. "You're eating for two, not zero." I flipped the menu shut. "Make that two sesame chickens, thanks."

"I'm not hungry."

"Too bad. You're going to eat."

Dara narrowed her eyes and I couldn't help but smirk at her. After a short staring match, she sighed and relaxed in her seat. "So why are we here?"

"I was hungry." I toyed with my rolled up silverware. "And I wanted to talk to you about work."

"Work?" She repeated. "Work as in… work or…"

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. "As in work, Jesus." I rolled my eyes. "Nick told me you're thinking about retiring."

"I'm not… I'm not sure I can go back." She cleared her throat and concentrated on everything in the restaurant but me. "He fooled me. He used me and I don't know if I can get over that. I don't know if I can get past the realization that the one person I wanted to bring to justice the most was under my nose the entire time."

"The pity party was cute at first but now it's just getting sad."

"Excuse me?" Her eyes flashed heatedly to mine, the exact reaction I wanted.

"You heard me." I smiled and we both waited until the approaching waitress sat down our order and disappeared again before continuing to speak. "I get that you're upset he fucked you in more ways than one Dara but you weren't the only one who got the wool pulled over your eyes. He managed to fool every single person in that station including me so it might be time to find another excuse to use now."

"It's not an excuse, it's-" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's just not an excuse okay?"

"Whatever you say Slim."

"Why are you saying these things to me?"

I smiled and sipped at my Coke through the straw. "Were you expecting we'd have sleepovers and braid each other's hair?"

"You're being unnecessarily cruel."

"I've murdered twenty-one people in the past eight years and you think I'm going to feel bad about harsh words?" I slowly unraveled my silverware from the napkin before lowering it into my lap. "Sorry, no can do."

Dara stayed frozen in her seat, watching me as I dug into my food. "Twenty-one?"

"Well, it's a rough estimate but last time I checked…" I lifted my gaze back to hers. "What? You think I just woke up a few months ago and started hacking up people for fun?"

"You… you mentioned your brother at the hospital. Did you..."

I stabbed a piece of chicken with my fork. "It started with him. My fiancé was the first man I ever killed."

"Why didn't you stop after that?"

"What would be the point?" I questioned sipping again at my drink. "Our justice system is a pathetic attempt at righteousness. What's the problem with me speeding up the process a little?"

"One person can't be judge, jury and executioner; it's not how it works."

"And how does it work exactly? Let me see; murderers getting only a few years for killing women and children? Pedophiles go free just because they cried to a shrink and did community service? Is that how it's supposed to work because if so, I definitely don't regret what I've done."

Dara reached for her glass and I noticed her hand was slightly shaking. I didn't believe it was truly me she was scared of but I could be wrong; it's been known to happen in the past. "You could have stopped. You can't truly believe that you can take every single case into your own hands. There's only one of you."

"Sadly that's true so when I take on a… certain case I make sure it's worth my time. I don't pick numbers out of hat or kill someone based on the type of shoes they wear Dara; it's about research."

She sipped at her water, her eyes not wavering from mine. "You didn't even hesitate when you killed him."

"Would you rather I had?"

"I truly appreciate what you did, you know that but a part of me…"

"The last thing we needed was for him to have survived Dara and you know it." I ate slowly, the image of the two of us as normal as it could get. To the outside world, we were just two women enjoying food and a lively conversation. "The last thing I needed was for him to have survived."

"You could have let him kill me."

"You're right, I could have." I tilted my head. "Guess I didn't think that one through huh?"

She gulped down more of her water but a big gold star for her not looking away from me. "You might change your mind."

"I also might start believing that Paris Hilton is the greatest singer in the world but I kinda doubt it."

Dara actually snorted and I watched the tension in her shoulders begin to melt away. "So where does that leave us?"

"You can start by coming back to work when you're approved for one thing."

"You can't be serious. I'm not sure that I-"

"Being a cop will forever be important to you and if you turn on it now, there's no coming back. It'll leave a hole inside of you that will never close." I lowered my fork down onto my plate. "You don't want that ache, trust me. Some things you can't change but for the things you can, wasting the opportunity will be the biggest mistake you'll ever make."

She stared at me without saying anything as if she had to decipher exactly what I meant. "So where does this leave us?" She repeated.

"I'm not saying I'll always remember your birthday or your favorite color…" I joked. The look on her face had me sobering up. "Look, perhaps… the threat I made against you was a little harsh and for that I apologize but I'm just trying to look after myself. After years of having this secret and lying to every single person in my life, the fact that one person knows…" I cleared my throat. "You hold my life in your hands Dara. One split second in time could change everything." I stared at her. "I could lose everything that's important to me."

"I told you I'm not going to rat you out and I meant it. There are a lot of things I don't understand, especially concerning what happened with Edward still, but what I know is this." She surprised me by reaching out to grab my hand. "You're a good person with good intentions and you saved my life. That means I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything."

"You're wrong. I owe you my life."

I pulled my hand away. "The only thing you owe me is putting yourself back together again. Too many people are counting on that, including Warrick and your child." I watched her place her hands on her swollen stomach almost unconsciously. "Dara?"

"If this child isn't his…"

"Will that make a difference in how you much love it?"

"Of course not but-"

"Will Warrick leave you?"

She actually sniffled and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "He swears he won't. He wants to get married and raise the baby as ours."

"Well, there you have it." I cleared my throat. Relief washed over me as she nodded and the tears vanished from her eyes. "He's a man of his word Dara and he loves you. No matter what the outcome is, he'll be there for you."

Dara wiped at her eyes. "You're right. These damn hormones, I can't turn off the water works sometimes and it's driving me nuts."

"I prefer the whole turning them off thing personally." I remarked dryly.

She surprised me again by laughing. "Sorry; I'll do my best when I'm around you."

I hesitated for a mere second. _It's now or never Angela._ "Actually, there's something else you can do while you're at it."

"Name it."

_Well, that's just neat. _"I don't… know if I plan on stopping anytime soon Dara." I watched her swallow. "I don't know if I can."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Things are… becoming complicated. With what happened, it'll be even more difficult for me to get my hands on certain information. That, my dear, is where you come in." I smiled. "You have connections that I can't access, files, databases; that sort of thing."

"Let me get this straight; you want me to use my job as a cover?"

"Something like that." I nodded. "See, there's no middle ground here Dara; you're either with me or you're against me. I can't stop and if you're not going to stop me that means you're in a position to help me. So will you help me?"

She looked around. "I'd have to think about it. Right now I can't… I can't do anything." She motioned at her stomach. "If I decide to come back, they're going to stick me on desk duty until the baby comes and after that, who knows how long I-"

"You can still access a computer from your desk can't you?"

She nodded slowly. "I need some time to think about it."

"The way I see it you've got two weeks." I picked up my fork. "Your food is getting cold. Eat."

"But I-"

"Eat." I stared at her and for the second time the stare down of the century occurred. Slowly she picked up her fork and began to dig into the food on her plate. I watched her begin to devour the food only a few seconds before I returned my attention back to my own plate.

020202020202020

I waited until Dara's car turned the corner and disappeared before I headed to my Toyota. The street lights were beginning to flicker to life, casting the city in a somewhat magical glow. I always enjoyed walking around Vegas at night. It certainly was a city that never slept and being able to blend into the numerous people that flocked to it was a welcome change. I didn't have to be anyone in the midst of them; I could just be without worrying about appearances.

Slamming my car door shut, I slid my key into the ignition but took a second to sit there and let my mind wonder. Dara hadn't outright told me but I could see the hesitation in her eyes. There was a battle brewing; a battle of doing what she knew was right and doing what she knew was morally acceptable. She wasn't sure which one was which and frankly, neither did I anymore.

"Do you think she knows?"

I adjusted the rearview mirror to gaze into it and see the image of myself sitting in the backseat. "I highly doubt it."

"It wasn't a bad idea, I'll give you that. We'll get the information we need faster and without raising suspicion and if she tries to get in our way, we have the perfect blackmail."

"This isn't about blackmailing her." I grabbed onto the steering wheel. "This was about being able to keep an eye on her while making her feel as if she has a purpose in the general scheme of things. You'll find that people are more willing to go with the flow of things if they feel they're getting in on some of the action."

"Give her an inch; she'll take the rope and run with it until there's enough to hang herself with it."

"Shut up. That's not what I'm doing. I don't have anything to worry about so just shut up, okay?"

My image smirked confidently. "Whatever you say Slim." She chuckled and leaned forward to point past me at the front windshield. "But if that's the case, then who's that?"

Alert, my attention snapped forward just in time to see a shadow slink back from the building's edge. I jumped out of the car before I could think about it and gave chase, coming around the corner in time to see a figure sprinting away. Grinning, I went right past the broken fence that had several loose panels. It wasn't hard to break through the wood and after a quick jump I appeared on the other side right as the person went running by.

I grabbed onto the back of their jacket and pushed them towards the brick wall at our right. The move to escape was blocked as I jerked my knife free from my boot, yanked back their jacket hood, and pressed it against their neck.

Frowning, I stared into the face of Douglas Rays, the man who had tried unsuccessfully to stab me several months ago at Rita's Diner. "Well, look what we have here." I smiled. "I seem to remember the last time we met not ending well either."

"Please, please don't hurt me!"

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't." I snapped. "And make it good because I really like hurting people."

"I was sent to watch you; that's it, I swear."

"Watch me?" I frowned. "Why?"

"To make sure you kept your nose out of where it didn't belong." He stuttered. "I was told to tail you and report back what I saw."

"Who sent you?"

"He'll kill me if I tell you!"

I pressed the blade harder into his skin and watched blood appear. "And what do you think I'll do to you if you don't?"

"Please…"

"That word annoys me." I snarled. "I hate it and now I'm losing my patience here Douglas! Spill it or I spill your blood and let me just say, if it gets on my clothes I'm going to make sure it takes them weeks to find all of your parts! Now fucking spill it!"

"Jeffrey McKeen, okay? He told me to do it!"

So startled, I almost lost my grip on him. "The LVPD Undersheriff?"

Douglas nodded quickly. "He was the one that put the hit out on you; he's why I was at Rita's that night! You were poking around and asking too many questions, you and that Brown fellow."

"Questions? You mean about Lou Gedda?"

"Exactly." He confirmed still nodding his head. "I obviously fucked up and then everyone got so distracted with The Artist that he told me to just watch you. He said if you'd back off that you'd be left alone."

I tightened my grip on him and jerked him inches away from me. "And if I don't?"

"You'll end up dead just like your friend."

My heart was pounding in my chest as the words fell into place and stated to make sense. "My friend?" I positioned the knife at his stomach, blade pointing towards his intestines. "What friend? Where?"

"Brown!" Douglas whispered. "Please, don't kill me."

"Where!?" I screamed.

"The breakfast joint all the cops frequent down off of Main, okay? I overheard them saying it was going to go down in the alley when he came back to his car!"

I pulled away and watched him relax. Mistake number two. "I should kill you." I snapped. "But fortunately for you I don't have the time to enjoy it." I pulled my fist back and the punch I delivered sent him crumbling unconscious at my feet. "That will have to do for now."

020202020202020

"Warrick!" I slammed my car door shut and cupped my mouth with my hands. "Warrick, where are you?"

There was no answer and I took off in a dead run for the alley. I saw his car and kept running, no sight of him at all until I came up to the driver's side. He was slumped over in his seat. I yanked open the car door and he slid out into my arms.

"Shit, Warrick." I cradled him in my arms as we both went down to the pavement. "Warrick, can you hear me?"

He didn't respond. I checked his neck to find that while he still had a pulse it was incredibly weak. I lowered him to the ground, taking in the two shots: one to his chest and the other to his lower abdomen. I didn't even hesitate as I pulled my shirt off from over my head and pressed the cotton material against the wound to his abdomen that was profusely bleeding.

"Warrick? Can you hear me? You have to stay awake." I leaned over him. "Warrick, stay with me, it's Angela. Can you hear me?"

"Dara…"

"Dara's coming." I whispered sliding my hand into his. "Just stay with me, the ambulance is on its way." I squeezed his fingers. "Stay with me Warrick." He started to shake and I cursed at the sight of blood in his mouth. "Warrick." I pressed my hand against his face. "Listen to me, you're going to be okay but you have to stay with me."

The wail of the ambulance stopped me from saying anything else. I kept pressing down on his wounds in the attempt to stop the bleeding, his blood coating my hands and getting on my jeans. His eyes opened and I felt completely helpless as I watched the life begin to fade there. So many times in the past I had taken delight in that but now, now I just felt empty.

"Ang…"

"Shh, don't try to talk; the ambulance is here Warrick. Don't talk, just take it easy."

Suddenly there was a swarm around us and I stood to my feet to give the paramedics room, blood-coated hands dangling limply at my sides. Someone draped a blanket around me, for comfort or for purposes of covering up my half-naked state, but I barely noticed.

I looked down at my hands, fingers sticky and red. A wave of sudden nausea hit me and there wasn't a force on Earth that could have stopped me from throwing up.


	3. Episode 3x03

**A/N: **_THANK YOU for all the reviews. Um, as a reminder, this is going to be AU verse from here on out so anything is possible plot wise. I'm still following some events on the show but for the most part, it's completely different now. Enjoy._

**Episode 3x03: The Choices We Make**

There was dried blood on my jeans and hands. They had given me a scrub to wear as soon as I had entered the hospital but I didn't remember putting it on nor did I remember when exactly everyone showed up. I barely heard anything they had to say. Their faces had the same desperate, shocked expression to them; their words incoherent mumbling.

A cup lowered in front of me where I sat and I looked up to see Nick. I accepted the cup and the kiss he pressed to my lips before he sat down beside me. "The doctors said no major arteries were hit but that he experienced a lot of blood loss. If you hadn't found him…"

His voice cracked and I started to reach out to take his hand in mine when I noticed the dried blood. "I should wash my hands and get a change of clothes."

"How did you know?"

"How did I know what?"

"That Warrick would be there. It was like you knew exactly where he'd be…."

I sipped at my coffee slowly, the liquid was hot and warmed my insides but I couldn't help but wish it was something stronger. "I didn't know he'd be there." I lied. I found it was harder to do now with him than it had been in the past. "I just knew it was a popular place for law enforcement to eat. I saw his car in the alley and that it was running."

"Well, whatever the reason, I'm grateful. If you hadn't found him…"

He looked like he was going to cry and I leaned in to press my forehead against his. "It's going to be okay Nicky." I whispered. "Warrick's strong and he's going to make it. Is Dara on her way?"

"Catherine went to pick her up."

I spotted Grissom coming out of the elevator and the hair on the back of my neck stood up at the sight of Undersheriff McKeen walking beside him. The two were talking and I moved to my feet, Nick rising too as they approached. I stared heatedly at Warrick's shooter and felt anger roll through me like a storm. Nick's gun was in the holster to my right, my knife in my boot. My fingers twitched.

"I came as soon as I could. How's he doing?"

"He's going to live." I stated as calmly as I could. "And when he wakes up, he's going to tell us who shot him."

McKeen shifted but I knew I was the only one who noticed it. "That's good news. Did he say anything when you found him?"

"No."

"Well, in that case, we should –"

"Where is he?" Interrupted by Dara's voice, I turned to see her almost running towards us, Catherine following at a slower pace. "Where is Warrick?"

Nick reached out to grab her shoulders gently. "He's still in surgery Dara. You have to calm down before you upset the baby."

"What happened?" Her eyes darted wildly between all of us. "What exactly happened? Someone needs to tell me."

"All we know is Rick has been shot and he's lost a lot of blood." Nick whispered. He tightened his grip on her as she visibly sagged. "But he's going to make it Dara. The doctors are hopeful."

I knew they weren't but at this point in time there was no reason to upset her further. What she needed was hope; not another reason to feel as if her world was collapsing. I tried to put myself in her shoes. If it had been Nick on that operating table…

My eyes went back to McKeen where he was now standing next to Conrad Ecklie. The two were deep in conversation and as I watched, McKeen turned and headed back towards the elevators. It was as if the Heavens had opened up; someone up there must like me.

"Dara." Her eyes flashed to me and I thrust my cup at Nick. "I want to talk to you in private please."

"Ang…"

"We'll be right back." I kissed Nick's cheek before I focused on Dara again. "Shall we?"

She nodded and followed me past the large group of CSIs, cops, and officials that had gathered once the news spread of the shooting. Dara reached out to place her hand against the wall the second we turned the corner and I watched her slump into a chair there.

"How could this happen?" She buried her face into her hands. "I cannot believe this is happening."

"Has Warrick mentioned any threats lately? Perhaps said anything about being followed?"

"No. He hasn't said anything; I mean, he felt like he was getting close to something but there haven't been any messages or threats, nothing like that."

"I was being followed earlier today."

Her head shot up and she stared at me. "And?"

"And it wasn't by someone unfamiliar. They've been keeping tabs on me and Warrick for a while it seems."

"Did … Did they have something to do with Warrick being shot tonight?"

"Dara…"

"Did they?" Her voice rose and several nurses at the station shot glares our way. "Angela? Did this person have something to do with Warrick being shot?"

I leaned against the opposite wall and scrolled quickly through my options before choosing one that would benefit the both of us. "A guy named Douglas Rays was hired to keep us quiet by Undersheriff McKeen." I admitted. I watched her rise up faster than I would have expected for someone in her condition and my hand shot out to grab her arm as she went to stalk past me. "Where the Hell do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to find that bastard and make him pay!"

"And pay with what exactly?" I tugged her back to stand in front of me. "This isn't something you're going to handle, do you understand me?"

"The fuck I'm not!" She hissed. "It's Warrick in there! I have every right to want revenge on this!"

I snorted. "The only thing you're going to get is twenty-five to life Dara. They'll take everything from you and you'll never see Warrick or your child every again, is that what you really want?" I tightened my grip on her and watched her shake her head. "Then this is what you're going to do. You're going to stay here for ten minutes after I leave before you excuse yourself and go to your house to pack some things for you and for Warrick. Take your time because you're going to be my alibi."

Dara's eyes went wide. "Alibi?"

"I'm going to take care of this problem for us. If they do an internal investigation, I never left your side; do you understand?"

"But… I…" She blinked in confusion. "Why do that? You've got as much to lose as I do!"

"Let's not play the comparison game right now okay?" I let go of her arm. "I can take care of our little problem but the window for opportunity is getting smaller by the minute. I need to go now if I'm going to do this. Tell Nick I went to check on the dogs and prepare the guest bedroom for you."

She shook her head as I expected. "I have to stay here."

"Hard plastic chairs aren't suitable beds for a pregnant woman Dara. You're going to stay with us because frankly Warrick wouldn't want you to be alone right now. If they came after us, they could come after you."

"But if you take care of McKeen…"

I glanced around as I dug into my pocket for my keys. "He's only one part of the puzzle. The man pulling the strings would never get his hands dirty like this. Warrick was shot by someone he knew and trusted. It makes sense that McKeen would be able to get right up to the car like he did."

"If what you're saying about McKeen is true you're only making yourself a bigger target."

"Maybe that's the point."

"Angela, you have to think about Nick!"

"I am thinking about Nick!" I snapped. "I'm thinking about Nick, about you, about Warrick… I am always thinking! But you need to be careful right now and concentrate on your family, not go off half-cocked looking for revenge."

Dara wrapped her arms around her torso. "If I lose him…"

"You're not going to." I interrupted her. "Warrick's too stubborn of a bastard to leave like this and we both know it."

"I still don't understand why you're willing to risk everything."

"They came after both of us Dara, that was their first mistake and now they've crossed a line that there's no coming back from. This is the start of a cleansing. Warrick's only the beginning and if we don't put a stop to it now…"

I knew I had rattled her with my words. "I'll wait ten minutes before I leave."

My shoulders relaxed and I pulled my keys free from my jacket pocket. For a second I stared down at my hand clutching the keys, the now red and pale color of my skin mixing with the silver of the keys. I cleared my throat as my eyes met hers again. "I'm sorry I didn't reach him sooner."

"You reached him." She whispered. "That's all that matters."

0303030303030303030

I knew the exact moment he woke up because the legs of the chair creaked under his shifting weight. I turned from my inspection of the pictures decorating the mantle of his fireplace to smile at him. "Jeffrey, you're awake."

The Undersheriff muttered something into the duct tape I had strapped all around him and Nicole next to me snickered. His wide eyes followed me as I approached his coffee table and bent to pick up a syringe.

"That sluggish feeling you're experiencing right now? That would be the tranquilizer I stuck you with the second you walked into your house." I tapped on the side of the syringe before lowering it down again to rejoin the numerous tools I had scattered there. "But don't worry; it'll wear off shortly."

He continued his attempt to talk but fell silent as I readjusted the gloves on my hands. I hadn't been forced to wait long for him to return to his house. The gun he had used to shoot Warrick wasn't hard to find either and I picked up the 9mm as I jerked a chair forward.

I straddled it and checked the clip of the gun. "I can't stand guns." I waved the silver Beretta around nonchalantly, his eyes following. "Not because I don't know how to use one." I smiled. "But they're just so…" I sighed. "Well, they take the fun out of everything Jeffrey. It's a fifty-fifty game; you either bleed out slowly or you die right away. Knives on the other hand…" I lowered the gun to the coffee table and picked up a six inch blade. "With a knife, you can control exactly how fast the person dies. It's all about options Jeffrey; it's about having a choice."

He didn't speak and smiling, I tapped the blade against my lips. "It took me a while to find you. I'll admit you gave me a run for my money Jeffrey; I never would have thought to look to an Undersheriff of all people as the root of my problems." I lowered the blade. "But then again, you're not the root are you? You're just another sucker for hire."

I stood up from the chair, blade in hand and he shifted as I stepped towards him. "I'm here to give you a choice." I squatted down in front of him. "You play nice and tell me who hired you and I'll go easy on you. Play dumb and well, either way you're going to tell me what I want to know but it's up to you whether or not I make this look like a suicide or a murder."

He began to mumble and I tilted my head, listening to the way he almost started yelling. Throwing the knife onto the table, I laughed. "I am so sorry Jeffrey! I just got so caught up in laying out the rules for you that I forgot how hard it is to reply with all that duct tape on your face!"

I ripped the tape off his mouth and he hissed. "You're fucking crazy!"

"Ding, ding; we have a winner!" I smirked. "Now tell me something I don't know."

"I don't know what you're talking about but you're going to regret this!"

I rose to my full height. "I'm already regretting taking the tape off of your mouth." I snarled. "Tell me who hired you Jeffrey and I'll make this quick. I'd prefer that; I have things to do. Your little stint has me turning my home into a hotel and I really need to replace the bed sheets before Dara comes over."

"I tell you anything and I'm a dead man."

I let out a throaty laugh. "You don't have a choice in the matter Jeffrey!" I grabbed the sides of his chair and leaned in towards him. "You are going to die in this room and my face is going to be the last one you see."

"Why should I tell you anything? Go ahead." He raised his chin up at me defiantly. "Kill me."

"In due time Sweetheart." I pushed away and straddled the chair again. "How you play this right now is going to make the difference on how you die and that is a very important choice Jeffrey. I can make this quick or I can make this last for days." I ran my fingers along the back of the chair and sighed. "I get it, you're shy. Okay, let's start out slow shall we? Why did you hire Douglas Rays to kill me?"

"If this is about choice, you can choose whether or not to kill me. I tell you what you want to know and you let me go. When he finds out I told you I'm a dead man anyway, at least give me a head start."

I studied him. "You have a point there." I nodded. "Fine; answer my questions and I'll let you go."

"Simple as that?"

"Simple as that Jeffrey! I'm a woman of my word. If what you say is true about who you work for I doubt you'll l last very long on the run and what I would do to you is nothing compared to the things a person truly pissed at you can."

He shifted again in the chair as if thinking about the endless possibility of ways he was going to die. "This was always about Brown and him putting his nose where it didn't belong. You started to do the same so I was told you were a liability."

"By?"

"Marcus Williams."

The name had me pausing. Marcus Williams was now the biggest casino owner in the area thanks to Sam Braun's passing a year ago. He had his hand in everything from gambling to landscaping; there wasn't an area in Las Vegas that hadn't been touched by him.

"Marcus Williams had connections with Lou Gedda?"

"Marcus Williams has connections with Jesus Christ." McKeen spat sarcastically. "He controls this city."

"How long have you been working for him Jeffrey?"

"A couple of years. I needed a favor and when it was done…"

"You had to repay in kind and haven't been able to dig your way out of the hole since." I sighed. "Same old song and dance I'm afraid; it's how men like Williams operate. Unfortunately for you there is no getting out of that hole, it only gets deeper." I stood up again, feeling antsy. "Why shoot Warrick?"

The chair creaked as he shifted again. "When trying to frame him didn't work it was the only option left. He wasn't going to quit looking for me and I wasn't willing to end up dead because of him."

"And look where that incentive has gotten you." I chuckled.

"It wasn't in the cards to kill you. We thought once Warrick was silenced, you would lose interest."

I titled my head, gaze lingering on the knife lying where it lay on the coffee table. "What about Edward Miller? Did you know what he was?"

"No." McKeen answered quickly. "I mean, I was told by Williams to hire him but I didn't know he was a serial killer; that wasn't the plan. He was supposed to tie loose ends and keep an eye on things, that's all!"

"And instead he went around butchering innocent women."

"If I could change things…"

"Bullshit!" I stood up and kicked the chair over. "You wouldn't have done anything differently and you know it! You still went along with the plan, you still had me followed." I pointed at him. "You still shot Warrick and there's no taking that back."

McKeen shook his head. "I don't know why you care so much about Warrick Brown of all people."

"I don't."

"You do." He argued. "Or else you wouldn't be here." He eyed me. "Once Warrick is gone all of this will go away. We can all go back to living our lives; you can go back to your life and things will be normal again."

I shook my head as I picked up the knife again. "My life will never be normal again, Jeffrey." I turned towards him and stared down at the metal. "Every time something happens that I can't control it's like a little piece of me dies and tonight…" I brought my gaze to him. "In another life, I could have loved him. I could have been that woman crying at his hospital bed. That's my nightmare but for Dara, it's real."

"I've told you all I know." McKeen jerked on the tape holding him down. "Let me go and you'll never see me again."

I chuckled as I lowered the knife and picked up his gun again. I studied the sleek design before cocking it. "I've got a better idea."

His reaction to struggle more was expected and amusing to say the least. "But you said you'd let me go if I told you! You promised!"

"Angela promised." I trained the gun on him. "I didn't."

0303030303030303030

Both dogs were cuddled against Dara as she slept. She looked so peaceful that it was hard to imagine she had been through something life-altering only hours before. I left the door cracked and continued down the hall to my bedroom.

The room was empty. Nick was still at the hospital. It had been a mutual decision that everyone take shifts and sit by Warrick in case his condition improved or worsened. So far the doctors were doubtful. His wounds had been severe at such a close range and there had been no other choice but to place him in a drug induced coma so that his body could try to heal. There wasn't much anyone could do now but wait.

That hadn't been an option for me. Tonight was the first time I had killed someone with a gun. There was a disconnection there one couldn't find in using a knife. I had wanted nothing more than to carve McKeen up into tiny pieces but the time frame and the situation hadn't called for it. The Undersheriff needed to be found as I had left him, killed with the same gun that had shot Warrick.

With the gun not only registered to him but with his finger prints still on it, it would signal the LVPD to acknowledge Warrick had been right all along. At the same time it would signal Marcus Williams that he wasn't as impenetrable as he liked to believe he was. Granted he figured out exactly what happened to his mole, I would graduate from annoyance to target level but I wasn't concerned with the prospect of adding another name to my list. I had lived with watching my back for years so a little extra attention was the least of my worries.

I showered to finally rid my skin of all the blood. I took my time and when I stepped out of the bathroom, towel around me, it was to find Nick perched on the edge of our bed. His red eyes met mine and I moved towards him without a word. He buried his face into my stomach, hands finding my hips, as I stroked his hair. I kissed the top of his head. "You should get some rest Nicky."

"I don't think I can sleep."

"If you're going to work and take shifts at the hospital, you need to try." I shifted back and cupped his face with my hands. "What can I do? Tell me and I'll do it."

Nick rested his cheek against my stomach again as he pulled me closer. "Just hold me." He whispered.

I grabbed onto his shirt. "Let's get you naked and into bed. You'll be more comfortable." I paused my pulling of the fabric as I felt his hands slid up under my towel. "Nicky…"

"I just need you, okay?" He shifted back to lock eyes with me. "What happened has been running on repeat through my head the entire night; things I could have done or said. He asked me to come with him to the diner and I said no; I could have been there. I could have stopped whoever it was."

"Nicky…"

"I just want the voices to stop for a little while. Can you help me make them stop?"

I captured his face with my hands again. I knew he was blocking his pain and trying hard to block the berating voices of his conscious that tried to guilt him. They would still be there when the sun rose but I understood the need to hold them at bay even if for only a split second in time. "Okay." I nodded. I stroked my fingers through his hair, eyes locked on his, as he tugged the towel free.

Together we pulled his shirt over his head and made quick work of his jeans. I smiled down at him as I covered his body with mine but his face remained serious, those dark eyes not leaving mine even as my attention began to spread to various parts of him. My lips followed the path of my fingers and I lost myself in the small sounds of appreciation he made.

There was a different electricity in the air as we came together that startled me. Our lips met at the same time as our bodies and there wasn't a force in the world that could have stopped me from crying out his name. He echoed mine in the same desperate tone. The Earth shook, time stopped; everything I ever mocked in those cheesy romance novels came crashing into me all at once to make me a believer.

I held him long after our bodies cooled. I listened to his deep, steady breathing and prayed no matter what happened that I would always remember these moments we shared. I didn't know how many of them I had left and I knew better than most that ignorance wasn't truly bliss. It was simply a substitute for denial.


	4. Episode 3x04

**A/N: **_Thank you for the reviews and the adding to your lists. I appreciate those that leave comments and you lurkers too. It's been so fun to write this. Anyway, I decided to go ahead and update again being its Thanksgiving Thursday and will be a bit before I can upload again due to family, friends, and work coming up. I hope you enjoy! And if you celebrate, have a great holiday!_

**Episode 3x04: Bribes before Breakfast**

"In other news today, the death of Las Vegas Undersheriff Jeffrey McKeen's is still under investigation. If you recall, McKeen was found murdered in his home two weeks ago with the same gun that was used in a shooting involving a LVPD criminal investigator Warrick Brown hours prior." The blonde reporter read from the teleprompter quickly. "There have been implications made as to the depth of McKeen's involvement with the downtown shooting but no statements have been made thus far. We'll keep you updated."

I snorted and shut off the television just as Nick came into the kitchen. "Morning." I handed him his coffee. "Dara still asleep?"

He accepted the mug but not before leaning in to kiss me. "Yeah, she didn't come back from the hospital until late last night."

"How's he doing?"

"Better now that he's awake."

I nodded and sipped at my own coffee. Two weeks had passed since the shooting but it wasn't until three days ago that Warrick had woken up. The details were a bit fuzzy but he told Brass he remembered McKeen coming up to his car. The Undersheriff might have been dead but that didn't mean he was off the hook.

Brass became a one man juggernaut. It wasn't hard to deduce that McKeen had shot Warrick under the orders of someone else and now the hunt was on to expose that individual. I couldn't have been prouder of the LVPD's tenacity and I didn't feel sorry in the slightest at having framed Marcus Williams for McKeen's murder. He was going to get what was coming to him whether it was from my hand or someone else's but we all know which optioned I preferred.

For now I had to sit back and watch how everything played out. My focus had splintered between Dara, Nick, and watching my own back. It kept me busy and before I knew it I was cleared by the IA and being requested to return to work. I wasn't sure I was ready and that surprised me. I blamed the random indecisiveness on my hormones which lately had been driving me up a wall. Oh, the inevitable curse of being a woman.

"Did the doctors say when they'd release him?"

"They're not sure. For now they're keeping him in ICU another week to keep an eye on his vitals before they move him into a private room. As much as she wants him out of there Dara's already threatened the staff with violence if they release him before he's one hundred percent."

I smirked into my mug. "Sounds like her."

Nick reached out to run a hand down my hair. "You should get some rest before you have to go to work. It's your first day back and it's bound to be busy."

"Says the man who's been taking double shifts." I scowled at him. "You keep leaving me here with nothing but the damn dogs to entertain me."

He laughed and smiled as my scowl deepened. "Well, thankfully they've taken a liking to Dara."

"Yeah, thankfully." I grumbled.

"Maybe we should give them to her when Warrick is released."

"What?" I almost dropped my mug. "Absolutely not, are you out of your mind?" I readjusted my grip on the mug handle and rolled my eyes the second I spotted the turned up corners of his mouth. "Oh, shut up. At least I'm not the one talking to them as if they're babies when I think no one is looking."

"Hey, Puddles and Fuddles understand exactly what I'm saying."

"I'm an adult and even I don't know what half the stuff you're saying means. Where in the world did you pick up the words wawa and widdle?"

"Baby, don't mock me; those words are going to come in handy one day. Babies love them."

Coffee growing colder by the second, I stared at him. He stared back and after sipping from his mug, I watched him place it down on the counter before he reached out for mine. "Hey now."

He ignored my protest and lowered the mug next to his. "Come here." He wrapped his arms around me and I pressed my body against his the second he pulled me forward. "I wasn't thinking; I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." I buried my face in his neck. "I know kids are important to you."

"They are but we've talked about this and-"

"Nicky?"

"Yeah baby?" He stroked his hands down my back.

"I want to get married."

His breath caught in his throat and he pulled away to stare down at me. "You do?"

_WHAT THE? YOU DO? _I pushed back everything but my focus on him and nodded. "Yes… I do." I couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face as he kissed me several times before resting his forehead against mine.

"I love you."

I grabbed onto his shirt. "There's plenty of time left before I have to head into work."

Nick was smiling as he pulled back to gaze at me with those soft eyes. "As much as I'd love to sweep you off your feet and head for the nearest drive through chapel, I am going to have to refrain." He kissed me as I went to respond. "I want our friends and family there; I want Warrick there. He's my best friend and I want him to be my best man."

So many things in the past to get uncomfortable about and I picked the fact Warrick was going to be Nick's best man at our wedding. Whatever had developed between me and Warrick was gone now, the itch having been scratched and forgotten but it didn't make things easier when reality decided to slap me in the face.

"Okay." I kept the smile on my face. "But as soon as he's able…."

"Nothing on Earth will stop us I promise."

040404040404040

_Angela Wilkins, you are cleared and ready for landing… _

I circled the employee parking lot a total of three times before I finally parked. It was just like any other night; there was no need to be nervous or apprehensive and yet I was. I contemplated getting back into the car and calling in sick. "Being off for a month has ruined me." I muttered.

_From what I saw, you don't really have anything to complain about._

Ignoring the tiny devil on my shoulder, I strode past the entrance doors. Several people greeted me; a lot I didn't even know that well. It was as if people were just lining up for their chance to say hello. I didn't truly understand the urge but I merely nodded and managed polite smiles back as I passed them.

I was grateful to find that the break room was empty and busied myself in fixing my fourth cup of coffee for the day.

"So the rumors are true! My girlfriend has returned!"

As annoyed as I was, my smile for Greg was genuine. "Girlfriend?" I teased. "And what does Ronnie have to say about that?"

"She says Greg who?" Hodges laughed as he entered behind Greg who rolled his eyes. "It's good to have you back Angela."

"It's good to be back." I dumped a truckload of sugar into my coffee.

"Hey, I'll have you know that Ronnie knows my first, last and even middle name, thank you very much."

I smiled at him again. "How are things with her?"

"Just fantastic." He shot Hodges another look. "We've moving in together actually. We looked at some apartments near the valley last weekend."

"That's good news."

"Well, it's not living in my mom's basement but it'll do."

Hodges snorted at the jab and moved to fix himself a cup of coffee as well. He sobered up the second our eyes met. "How's Dara? I went to see Warrick the other day but she wasn't there."

"She's better. She's staying with us until Warrick is released but I have a feeling Nick is going to try to talk them into staying for a while after that too." I sipped at my coffee. "Has either of you seen Michael?" I watched the two exchange looks. "What was that? What am I missing?"

"Michael has been assigned to the day shift now."

"What?" I straightened up from where I had been leaning against the counter. "Since when?"

"Since Ecklie got demoted and we got a new Assistant Director for the lab."

_Did Christmas come early!? Maybe Santa left me a pony too!_

Greg visibly flinched as my gaze shifted to him. "I was going to tell you but my case load got really big and then there was the apartment hunting and-"

"Save it Greggo." I smiled to simmer the heat of my words. "So who's this new A.D. incompetently fucking with my department?"

"That would be me."

My head snapped to the doorway where a person I didn't recognize was standing. An older woman, she was my height with long brown hair and bangs. I was surprised to see the small smile on her face as she stared at me with dark brown eyes.

_You just might get your wish about going home._

"Mr. Sanders, Mr. Hodges, I believe there is work to be done, don't you?"

I watched them both nod and shoot me a look before almost scurrying out of the break room. I leaned against the counter again and sipped at my coffee, neither of us speaking.

Finally she budged. "You must be Angela Wilkins."

I bit back a sarcastic remark and by the way her eyes shifted, I knew she noticed the effort. "I wasn't aware Ecklie had been demoted."

"Well, now you know." She smiled. "I'm Samantha Caine. Do you have a minute to step into my office?"

_I don't really have a choice now do I? _I nodded. "Of course. Lead the way." I eyed her backside as we made our way down the hall and turned into the office that used to be Ecklie's. The overhaul on the inside was impressive; gone was the stuffy air that used to linger like smog and replaced instead with clean spaces, a few plaques of recommendation and surprisingly a leather couch.

"I enjoy being comfortable."

Grinding my teeth in irritation at her noticing my survey, I nodded again and took a seat in front of her desk. "What happened to Ecklie?"

Caine lowered herself down into her leather desk chair. "Conrad did impressive work as a CSI supervisor years ago and was reassigned to a department in Illinois where he'll be quite useful."

I almost laughed but smothered it with a cough. "Yes, Illinois; how wonderful."

"I take it the two of you had issues?"

"Issues is a light way of putting it but then again if Ecklie didn't have issues with you it was because you didn't refuse to bend over backwards just to accommodate him." I sipped at my coffee again. "Would you like to tell me why you put my assistant on days?"

Caine smiled as if knowing the direction of my thoughts and I didn't care for it one bit. "Ms. Wilkins, we both are aware that Michael is quite capable of handling his own shift. From notes given to me there truly was no real need for him to shadow you. I think we're both aware Ecklie did that in order to keep an eye on you."

"Sounds like him." I grunted.

Still smiling, Caine flipped open a folder on her desk. "I am fully aware of Doctor Robbins' intention to retire this year and David Phillips has already handed in his notice for his relocation to Florida in two weeks. That leaves one shift short of a coroner doesn't it?"

_Well, give the woman a cookie. _"That it does."

"Unless you would prefer days, I have assigned Michael to the shift and I'm promoting you to head coroner of the department."

I almost dropped my cup into my lap. "Excuse me?"

"You have an objection?" She cocked an eyebrow at me. "I read your file thoroughly and conducted several interviews with your co-workers and the consensus that you were best suited for the position was made quite clear to me several times. Gilbert Grissom himself wrote you a letter of recommendation."

_The man always did know how to make me feel fuzzy inside. _"No."

"No?"

"No, I don't prefer days; night shift is just fine, thank you." I smiled and readjusted my grip on my mug. "Where are you from Ms. Caine?"

"Brooklyn, New York."

"Tough city."

"The state of New York in its entirety can be unrelenting."

I prayed the act of me sipping my coffee went smoothly and without any indication of annoyance. I knew exactly what she was waiting for; without a doubt one of those files on her desk was mine. "That it can be but it's not without its charm. I ventured to Brooklyn from NYC several times a year for different events before I attended Cornell."

"You picked quite an interesting choice in careers considering your educational background Ms. Wilkins."

"Thank you." I left it at that and rose to my feet. "Is there anything else?"

"Actually there is one thing." She leaned back into her chair. "I hope to make some good changes here in order to clean up the mess Ecklie left behind. I approach things hands on and I'm firm but I'm fair. I put in one hundred and ten percent effort every day I come into work and all I ask is that my staff does the same."

I nodded. "I don't see a problem with that."

"Good because at this time I have no intention on restricting or punishing fraternizing staff. What Ecklie failed to recognize is that sometimes when you stand in front of moving train it doesn't stop in time no matter how powerful you think you are." She smiled at me. "But if the job begins to suffer I will step in to take necessary precautions and when I'm pushed I can make the simplest mole hills turn into mountains."

"It's been a while since I've seen a mole in the greater Las Vegas area, the animal at least." I remarked dryly. "It was nice meeting you; I should get down to the morgue."

The smile on her face remained. "It was nice to meet you finally Ms. Wilkins. Would you be so kind as to send Wendy from the lab in here on your way down?"

"Of course." I exited the office and spotted Wendy talking with Mandy. The two were laughing about something but Wendy automatically stopped at the sight of me. In the past I thought she had a thing for Nick and my suspicion was only confirmed when after we started dating the meter of her attitude towards me went from chilled to frozen. "Caine wants to see you."

"What about?"

"I don't know." I gestured towards her blouse. "But I'd cover up. It's cold in here, you could catch something."

She glared at me as she marched past and hearing a giggle I looked over at Mandy with raised eyebrows.

"She probably already caught something if you get my drift." My shock must have shown on my face because she laughed again. "What?"

I actually managed a wide smile as I started past her. "Nothing; I didn't hear a thing."

"Hey!" I twisted back to face her and watched her motion towards my hand. "I always knew it would work out with you two."

My gaze went down to my left hand where my engagement ring rested once again. "Um, thanks."

"You're welcome Cutie." She grinned before disappearing into her lab.

_Cutie? _I scoffed but didn't make any attempt to correct her before I started towards the morgue again. _I am not cute._ I found myself looking down at my ring several times along the way. _Okay, maybe I could live with cute. Oh God! What am I saying? What in the world is wrong with me?_

I entered the elevator and sighed as it shut, cutting me off from the outside world if only for a few seconds. The dimly lit hallway leading to the morgue was a welcome sight and the very second I stepped into the morgue it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

_Welcome home. No._ I corrected myself. _Welcome back. Home is where the heart is and this? This is just playtime. _I grabbed a pair of gloves and snapped them on with new found excitement. _Yes, welcome back._

040404040404040

My first night back flew by in the blink of an eye. I managed to finish my caseload long before my shift was even over and for the first time in a while the quiet atmosphere of the morgue was too much for my nerves. It wasn't aggravation or annoyance but a sense anxiety of that hit me as I sat there and stared at the metal cabinets.

As I dimmed the lights and gathered my things, I questioned whether or not I needed to buy chocolate on the way home. The mere idea of food made my stomach grumble and I scrolled mentally through a list of options for breakfast. Maybe Nick would be hungry too and I could sweet talk him into taking me to IHOP. I looked for him without success until Greg pointed me towards the garage.

I found him dressed in a pair of the station's blue coveralls, the material already stained with whatever it was he was currently digging around in from the back of the confiscated car trunk. Hit with the urge to tell him how sexy he looked, I stepped forward to do just that when I noticed Detective Henderson was standing in the room as well.

"Look, man…"

"There's no need to get hostile about this; I just…"

"I know exactly what you're doing and I don't really care for it. You don't need to explain yourself to me." Nick responded hotly. "As far as I'm concerned, it never happened."

Henderson sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You're obviously angry and I can't say I blame you Nick. What I did was-"

"What you did is in the past and it's never going to happen again. I love her and we're going to be married and that's that." Nick pushed past Henderson to approach the table he had set up for evidence collection. "I've got work to do."

"At least accept my apology."

"I don't know why you're even apologizing in the first place." He turned on Henderson. "You're not sorry. You're the so-called ladies man; why should you feel bad? It's all about having a good time and not caring about other people's feelings. You've always been that way Henderson and you've never had any qualms about being that way before so don't try to play me with this act now."

"It's not an act. I genuinely feel bad."

Nick scoffed. "Well, you should and you know what, while you're at it you should-" He stopped when he finally noticed me standing in the doorway.

I stepped further inside and glanced between them. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No." Nick answered quickly. "Henderson here was just leaving."

Eyes flickering to the other man, I watched him swallow but nod tersely. "Yeah." Henderson glanced away from Nick. "I needed some information about a case but I'll wait for the report."

"That's a good idea." Nick commented dryly. "Best one you've had all year probably."

With a sigh under his breath, the detective strode past me without another word and I kept my eyes glued to Nick. "I seem to remember you two being friends once."

He grabbed a towel from the table and began wiping his hands down, refusing to look at me as he cleaned up. "Well, I must have been crazy to ever have been friends with a guy like him."

"You shouldn't be so hard on him."

"And how should I be Angela?" He raised his eyes to meet mine. "The two of you…" He stopped and looked down again. "I told you I forgave you, and I have because of the circumstances and issues we were having, but that doesn't mean I have to forgive or trust him."

"Yet you trust me?"

He looked up again as he dropped the rag. "Of course I trust you." He protested when I moved forward to wrap my arms around him. "Baby, I'm getting grease all over your scrubs."

"I don't care." I kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I kissed him again and smiled at the small sigh he released at the feeling of me massaging the back of his neck. "You look incredibly sexy right now all dirty and sweaty."

He chuckled and I squealed in surprise when he reached around to grab my ass with his hands. "I'm glad you think so."

"Nick!" Flushed, I pulled away and glanced around to make sure we weren't being watched. "Please tell me you're almost ready to clock out."

"Why?" He grinned. "Is there something you need?"

A wave of desire rolled through me before I could even reply. My mouth went dry. I cleared my throat. "I can think of a few things but it really works best when I have a helper."

With another grin, he kissed me quickly. "Give me five minutes."

I grabbed onto his overalls to tug him back towards me and the next kiss made my toes curl. "Make it three and I'll do the laundry and the dishes for the next month."

"Bribery. I like that."

I laughed when he swatted my backside with his rag as he went past me. "I thought you would."


	5. Episode 3x05

**Episode 3x05: My Version of the Heimlich**

Samantha Caine was a tyrant. Okay, maybe not but it would have made my life a whole lot easier if she had been. I would have had reason to dislike her but in the past three weeks she hasn't given me a single thing to use against her. It was annoying to say the least.

I tried to keep an eye on her but between my work load, my sudden overwhelming cravings for chocolate covered sweets and Nick (not in that particular order mind you), AND keeping tabs on Dara and Warrick I just didn't have the time. If there was a particular reason why I should focus any attention on the assistant director I would eventually stumble across it and deal with it when the time came.

Jeffrey McKeen's case went cold much to my satisfaction. Marcus Williams went on being a pompous millionaire asshole and I continued to watch my back. I hadn't told Dara about Marcus's role as the head cheese and for now I didn't plan to. She had enough on her mind as it was.

Warrick was progressing better than anyone expected he would. By the second week after waking, he was ready for release as long as Dara promised to look after him at home. The doctors hadn't even discussed all of the necessary precautions before she was signing the papers. I understand her desire to have him away from the hospital. At home she could look after him just as well as she had been at the hospital but without the sense of black clouds or interruptive leeches like his ex-wife Tina who had been coming around almost daily before he woke up.

A few choice words from me in the parking garage had cured the woman of her desire to see him. Dara was relieved when she realized Tina was no longer going to haunt her every step, her intentions of weaseling back into Warrick's life and wallet thwarted. She wasn't the only one relieved; I related my experiences with Tina to those of someone running their nails down a chalkboard. I usually needed a solid reason for killing a person but another word out of that woman's lips and I was going to make an exception.

I checked my watch and noted I had two hours before I had to clock in at work. Nick had gone in early to help with day shift suffering from people with severe colds and while he was busy I entertained myself with idle window shopping downtown. As always I enjoyed blending in at the market with the tourists and citizens, the sounds surprisingly soothing as I walked. I could always forget who I was when I was with the masses and it helped to calm any stress I might have had.

I strolled through the middle of the venders and felt as if the Universe was playing a joke on me the second I spotted Samantha Caine. She was ahead of me by several yards and by the looks of it having a grand time with shopping. I eyed her bags and slowed my steps. I followed her and took in what she bought, the people she interacted with, and how many times she smiled or laughed. By all accounts she acted as any normal person would but this version I saw was a thousand times more relaxed than the one I saw at work.

_Guess we're not the only ones playing a role now are we?_

I checked my watch and caught sight of a small café to my left. I became torn as to which direction to go but finally hunger won over and I shot one more look towards Caine before I headed towards the café.

I was happily munching on a sandwich and sipping a cold Coke when the chair across from me was pulled back, Samantha Caine lowering herself down into it.

"Please." I wiped my mouth with my napkin. "Have a seat."

"I've worked in law enforcement for fifteen years Ms. Wilkins. I know when I'm being followed."

_Well, hello; game on. _"It's a free country and the last time I checked I wasn't a spy." I leaned back in my chair. "Coincidence, fate, call it anything but intentional. I came out to do some shopping before I went to work." I motioned at her bags. "That's what I get for believing myself capable of an original thought."

Caine smiled and clasped her hands together casually across her lap. "You haven't purchased anything. Been shopping long?"

"I'm not much of a shopper actually." I smiled back thinly. "I like to look and sometimes I like to people watch."

"Ah, an observationalist."

"Indeed." I inclined my head at the suggestion. "If such a word existed, I surely would label myself as one."

Caine chuckled as she glanced around. "A word is formed in reality the second it's spoken and valid the moment it gains popularity; it's just the way of things. If you don't believe me, look up the word bootylicious in the dictionary."

Her easy going humor was surprising. "I'll take your word for it." I paused. "May I ask your age?"

"I'm forty-one this April."

"Forty-one and you pick a word like bootylicious; interesting." I chuckled and sipped again at my beverage. "I imagine that really stimulates conversation with the big wigs at political functions."

"I wouldn't know." She chuckled again. "I'm rarely invited."

"That surprises me."

"Regardless of what you might suspect, we're not all like Conrad Ecklie."

I snorted. "Forgive me for the assumption but I've yet to encounter many of you that aren't looking to further yourself by climbing over the backs of others." I studied her. "Rarely invited huh?"

"I'm afraid they find me too…" She paused. "What's the word, opinionated? I grew up in a bad part of town in a bad city so my view on what's important differs greatly from theirs a lot of the time. I accepted the position in Las Vegas even with its current stigma because change is important, not furthering myself."

"Stigma. That's a nice way of putting it."

"You would describe it differently?"

_It's more like a giant succubus. _I shook my head. "Stigma will do just fine." I couldn't have been more thankful when my phone began to ring. "Excuse me." She nodded and I flipped open the phone without looking at the screen, just glad to have the interruption in the first place. "Wilkins."

"So… I thought I would come by my desk and see if there was something I could take home." Dara quipped lightly. "And imagine my surprise to find all my cold case files are gone."

I kept my eyes on Caine's. "You don't say."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well, what'd you do with them?"

"Funny you should ask; the other night it was really cold and we didn't have any wood so…"

Dara sighed loudly into my ear. "What did you do with them? I want to finish them and put them in a cabinet marked finished forever before someone else gets curious about them."

_Looks like we have a little rebel on our hands. _I smiled. "I must have taken them by mistake but I'll bring them to you later tonight, okay?" I didn't wait for her answer. "You should get back to Rick."

"He's partly the reason I'm here. He fussed at me for fussing over him too much." Dara giggled so I knew she wasn't upset. "I told him I'd find something to keep myself busy until I came back to work."

"So you are coming back…"

Dara hesitated only a split second. "I gave what you said a lot of thought and you're right. I can help and I'd like to." She cleared her throat. "So yes, I'm coming back starting Monday."

"Good. I have to go but I'll bring your things to you as soon as I can." We said our goodbyes and I shoved the phone into my pocket. "I hate to cut this short but I should go."

Caine gaze at me with that careful look I had come to recognize and not favor all that much. "There isn't a problem I hope?"

"Nope, no problem." I couldn't tell if she was being honest or not. "I'll see you at work Boss."

With those watchful eyes, she smiled at me. "You certainly will."

0505050505050505050

Warrick and Dara had moved back into her old house. I wasn't entirely sure that was the smartest of ideas but it wasn't my decision. Besides, it wasn't like my life was chalked full of good ideas; who was I to judge?

I took the steps two at a time and knocked on the front door. There was no answer and a quick look in the garage alerted me that her car was still gone. I debated a few seconds before I went back to the front door and used a bobby pin to jimmy the lock. Two steps into the living room I knew I wasn't alone.

"Do you always resort to breaking and entering when no one answers?"

I smirked at Warrick on the couch. "Depends on the occasion." I eyed him. "Are you supposed to be on the couch like that?"

"I'm fine. I'm stretched out and I checked my stitches; I'm fine okay?" He eyed me. "What are you doing here? Dara's gone."

I rolled my eyes as I moved closer to him. "Hostile much? Jesus Warrick, two seconds of conversation and it already feels like old times." I lowered myself down into the recliner next to the couch and tossed the folder of cold files onto the coffee table. "I just came by to drop off a few things for Dara."

He eyed the folder before directing his attention back to me. "You took your sweet time coming to see me."

"I didn't know I was expected."

He cocked an eyebrow. "You save my life and don't think I'd expect to see you?"

_He has me there. _

_If memory serves me correctly, he had you in a lot of places Angela. _

Clasping my hands together tightly, I shrugged. "Dara's been taking care of you like a woman possessed and the last thing she needed was me hovering around. For a while she hardly ate and had problems sleeping." I watched his eyes flash. "None of these things are your fault but what happened really got to her." I looked away from him because the expression on his face had shame slapping me in the face. "I guess she didn't tell you about that huh?"

"No." He whispered. "She's kept a lot of stuff to herself but I know she's scared."

"She was." I agreed. "But you're better now and she's going to be fine." I studied my hands and it was as if I could still see his blood coating my fingers.

"Thank you."

His words had me looking at him in surprise. "You don't have to thank me Warrick."

"You saved my life so yeah, I kind of do."

A moment of silence passed between us and I cleared my throat. "I need to go; I've got to be at work soon."

"Angela…"

He started to shift against his pillows and I glared at him. "If you get up from that couch I'm going to put you into another coma."

Warrick chuckled at that. "Fine but you're going to have to deal with the fact that I owe you one."

"You don't owe me jack shit and that's final. Besides, by my calculations we're even now for the Gedda incident." I narrowed my eyes as he shifted again. "What are you doing?"

"My pillow…" He sighed. "I fucking hate being an invalid."

"Poor baby." I cooed sarcastically. "I hate to break it to you but you can't always be a macho cave man." I moved forward to help him and repositioned his pillow to make him more comfortable. "Better?"

Nodding, his eyes met mine and he reached out to cover my hand that rested on his shoulder with his. "Thank you Angela."

The sincerity and pure genuine nature behind his words hit me like a ton of bricks. Despite anything that had occurred between us, no matter how many lines we had a crossed or hurtful things we had done to ourselves and others, he was truly grateful.

I nodded. "Of course Rick."

He smiled. "I don't think you've ever called me Rick."

"Yeah, well." I rolled my eyes and smiled. "I wouldn't get used to it." I squeezed his shoulder. "I should get going. Take it easy Warrick and listen to Dara; she's a pain in the ass at times but she loves you."

"I know and I wouldn't change her for the world. She's the only thing that matters to me; her and our baby."

"Good man." I leaned in to kiss his cheek and was pulling back when the front door opened. I straightened and slowly took my hand off his shoulder, watching as Dara glanced between us.

To her credit she didn't automatically pick up the nearest item and throw it at me. "What's going on?"

I took a step back from Warrick. "I promised I would bring the files for you." I pointed to the coffee table. "There they are."

"I see."

I took another step back. "I need to go or I'm going to be late." I ignored Warrick as he shifted on the couch as if attempting to draw Dara's attention away from me. She looked suspicious but kept silent. "Let me know if there's anything else either of you need."

The suggestion obviously surprised her. "I think I have everything pretty much covered but thank you." She stepped out of the way of the door. "Next time call me before you come over. Warrick shouldn't move around too much."

"Of course." I didn't wait for her to say anything else and I quickly shut the door behind me. I could hear them begin to talk heatedly even before I was down the steps and I ignored the urge to go back and clarify exactly what she had walked in on. Warrick could handle it, he was grown and I doubted Dara would attack him in his weak state. She loved and respected the man; she'd at least wait until he was able to defend himself.

0505050505050505050

After that experience I needed a shot of coffee injected directly into my blood stream. I rushed into the break room so fast that I bumped directly into Henderson and we both stumbled back a few steps.

"Whoa." He grabbed my shoulders. "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I brushed his hands away and we both shifted uncomfortably. "I was almost late clocking in and I need some coffee before I go downstairs, that's all." I edged around him and grabbed a Styrofoam cup. I fixed my coffee aware of him watching me. "What?" I threw my stirrer into the garbage and faced him. "What is it?"

"Look, about Nick…"

"Oh no, you don't. Don't drag me into this."

"Don't drag you into this?" He stared at me completely baffled. "You act as if you're not already involved. You and I-"

"Don't Henderson!" I sighed. "Can't you just let it go?"

He ran his hand through his hair. "I want to but it's hard to work with someone who hates your guts. I don't like this fucking awkward tension between me and a dude I used to call a friend!"

"I don't know what to tell you. Maybe next time I'd refrain from sleeping with your friend's girlfriend."

Henderson stared at me. "If I remember correctly, it was you that hit on me!"

"And while your memory remains quite excellent, no one forced you to sleep with me." I sipped at my coffee. "You had to have known in the back of your mind that the consequences of that mistake would be painful if it was discovered."

"You… I … I'm at a loss for words."

"First time for everything I suppose." I rolled my eyes and moved around him. "I need to go."

"Angela, please…"

I bit back a sigh and turned to face him. "What do you want from me Henderson? I can't make Nick talk to you and I definitely can't make him like you again."

"I just… I just want things to be okay." He lowered himself down into a chair at one of the tables. "The way the guys around here look at me now…"

Frowning I took a step towards him. "Like how?"

"Like I can't be trusted." He answered. "Like I'm lucky to still be breathing after messing with Nick Stokes's girl. They treat me differently now. Before it was all fun and games but now…" He looked up at me. "When you and Dara were missing, they wouldn't even let me help look for you. Nick barely said two words to me the entire time and no one would tell me anything."

I wasn't entirely sure what to say so I went with nothing. I watched him stand up and shove the chair back into the table.

"I guess I brought it on myself. How long can you play the uncaring playboy before it comes back to haunt you right?"

He moved past me before I could say anything and I'll admit I stood there stunned for several minutes, my coffee growing cold in my hand. Sighing, I tossed it into the trashcan.

"What was that about?"

I grabbed another cup. "Nothing." I smiled at Nick as I poured coffee into it. "I love you."

"Are you sure it was nothing? It looked like-"

I slid the pot back onto the hot plate, cupped his face with my hands and placed my lips on his in order to silence him. It did the trick and we kissed for several seconds until a loud cough had us pulling apart.

Caine looked less than impressed with us but she actually smiled as she saw Nick's dazed look and my lipstick smeared on his face. "I'm going to assume that was a necessary life or death maneuver and will have no further repeats after this point?"

"It was my version of the Heimlich." I scooped up my coffee as Nick turned to grab a napkin and wipe his mouth with it. "And yes, no further repeats I promise."

She chuckled. "Good. Get to work." Rapping on the glass door with her knuckles, she disappeared back into the hall.

"Did I get it all?"

I shifted my attention to Nick. "Nope. You missed some…" I leaned in to press my lips to the corner of his mouth, "…there."

"Angela!"


	6. Episode 3x06

**A/N: **_Merry Xmas. I hope, just like Nick,that you get something you want._

**Episode 3x06: And WHAT Makes Three?**

I kicked but it was no use. His hand came at me again and I grabbed the newspaper, rolling it up before I swatted it at him. "Stop it!"

Nick chuckled as he grabbed for my feet again. "Why? I want to touch your feet!"

"No!" I laughed and slid further up the bed. "That is disgusting Nicky; now stop it!"

He smiled and stretched out beside me on our bed. "I think your feet are beautiful. I'd even kiss them if you'd let me."

Tossing the newspaper at him, I wiggled my nose. "No, thank you. I'll show you something else you can kiss though." I giggled as he growled and pounced on me, my hands finding his shoulders as he slid easily between my legs. I smiled as he kissed me. "Um, good guess but I'm thinking lower."

He bent his head to kiss the valley between my breasts. "Here?"

"Nope." I brushed my hands over his hair. "Lower." I watched as he began to scoot back to the end of the bed but my looming satisfaction was destroyed by the loud ringing of his cell phone. "Ignore it."

"Baby…"

Sighing, I reached for the phone on the nightstand and handed it to him. "Fine but you owe me a blow job."

Nick burst out laughing and he was still chuckling as he flipped open the phone. "Yeah?" He smiled at me and stroked his hand down the inside of my leg. "Hey man, what? No, sure; that'd be great! See you in an hour? Okay."

I eyed him as he snapped the phone shut and kissed me. "What did you just agree to?"

"That was Rick. He wanted to see if he could drop by with Dara."

I bit back a groan and pouted at him. "But you said we were going to spend some time together." I stroked my hands down his chest. "Now I have to put on clothes."

Nick pouted too. "Well, damn I didn't think about that." He teased. "Let me call them back…"

"Oh shut up." I tossed the phone from the bed. "Kiss me before I decide to stay mad at you."

His mouth covered mine and I lost myself in his kiss. I sighed into his warm mouth and wrapped my arms and legs around him almost in desperation. His hands found my back, my skin still sweaty from our previous two times together that morning.

I pressed my lips harder against his, almost as if I wanted him to devour me. The heat that rolled through me at the mere thought of him had me trembling and I almost was scared to imagine not being able to touch him the way I wanted. I had never felt this way about anyone before in my life.

To think I had tried so hard to avoid this had me rolling him onto his back, my legs straddling his hips. "An hour is plenty of time for a quickie."

Nick reached for me and I swatted away his hands. "Angie, baby, what has gotten into you?"

"You or did you forget already?" I bent to nip at his bottom lip. "Nicky, please…"

"You know I can't say no to you."

"Good because…"

Nick frowned as I jerked back. "Baby? What is it?"

"I…" I couldn't even finish my sentence before I was hit with the urge to vomit. I practically leapt to the floor and sprang into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before I threw up.

He was right behind me, pressing a hand against my lower back as I retched again. "I'll get you a towel."

Nodding, I closed my eyes and a few seconds later I felt him press the wet cloth against my forehead. I took it and pressed it to my lips. "Thanks. I just…" I opened my eyes and reached out to flush the toilet. "I don't know what that was about; maybe I ate something."

"Maybe." Nick stroked his hand up and down my back. "That sauce from last night did smell kind of old."

I nodded again. "I think I just need to shower."

"Do you want some Tylenol?"

Rising from the floor, I shook my head. "I'll be fine. I promise." I leaned into him as he kissed my forehead. "I'll be quick so you can get in before Warrick and Dara show up."

"How about we take one together? Save water and help the Earth?" He teased.

I smiled but turned my head as he moved in to kiss me. "Gross Nick!" He chuckled and I swatted at him with the rag. We both paused at hearing the dogs barking. "They probably need to go out." I pinched his chin. "I'll be quick, promise."

Shooting me another concerned glance, he finally nodded. "Okay. I'll straighten up a bit."

I sagged against the door the second it shut, my mind racing. There had been nothing wrong with the sauce from the night before; both of us had eaten it with our spaghetti. Slowly I pushed away from the door and opened the closet door that contained random items along with our towels.

A while back I had complained of stomach problems in an attempt to get out of a conversation with our neighbor Pamela and not even a day later she had appeared on my doorstep to give me a kit of medicinal items. Inside were tons of items I'd never use along with Tums and Pepto Bismol. I found the bag, dug through it, and five minutes later, I stared down at the pregnancy test in my hand.

It was positive.

_WHAT?!_

After throwing up a few more times, I managed to take a shower. I didn't even fuss with my hair and with it still damp, I stuck the test into my back pocket and ventured towards the living room. I debated with each step whether or not to tell Nick. If I was smart I would keep my mouth shut and one day when I was off work I could…

I paused just in the doorway and watched Nick play with the dogs in the yard. No, I couldn't. I pressed my hand against my stomach. I was pregnant.

"The second you commit to this we're done with."

I continued to watch Nick as he laughed, the dogs chasing him. "We were over a long time ago; you just haven't gotten the memo."

"Fuck that; you need me." My duplicate snarled. "You are nothing without me Angela!" She pointed at my stomach. "This baby will ruin your fucking life! In case you've forgotten, you're a killer. What kind of mother do you actually think you'll be? A good one?" She snorted. "Good luck."

I narrowed my eyes. "I don't know what kind of mother I'll be but I know I don't fucking need you anymore." I strode past her to enter the kitchen, listening as the front door opened and the dogs barked as they raced in. "Did I get any mail?"

"Nope." Nick tossed down a few envelopes onto our table. "Bills."

"I thought we agreed we were going to split the bills."

"We did." He reached out to pat my ass and I froze at the same time he did. "Babe, what's that?"

"Nothing."

He frowned. "It didn't feel like nothing, it felt like a stick." He grabbed for me and I moved back to avoid him.

"Nick, no!"

He caught me regardless and I barely had time to twist away before he was slipping free the test from my pocket. I swallowed as I watched his eyes widen the second he realized exactly what he held.

"Nicky…"

"Angie…" He looked up and down several times before our eyes locked. "Is this… is this yours?"

_Moment of truth Angela; ten seconds remaining in the fourth quarter with- Oh, just spill it already._ "No." I cleared my throat. "I mean, it's ours."

Nick simply stared at me.

"It means I'm pregnant. We're having a baby." I shrieked in surprise as he tossed the test onto the counter to be able to wrap his arms around me and lift me from the ground. He spun us until I groaned out a request to be put down. I was smiling however as he kissed me several times, all the while muttering about me being pregnant.

"Oh my god." He kissed me. "Oh my god, this is great." He cupped my face with his hands. "Are you happy? I know this is sooner than we planned and you have your doubts but a baby Angela." He lowered a hand to press it against my stomach. "We're going to have a baby together. Please tell me you're happy."

"I'm happy." I couldn't have been more shocked at the turn of events. I should have known by the way I was acting all these past weeks. How long have I been pregnant? I leaned into Nick as he wrapped his arms around me. There was only one way to tell but the thought of scheduling a doctor's appointment was a dreaded one.

He pressed another kiss to my forehead when he pulled away. "This would explain your sickness." He smiled. "I'm going to jump into the shower. Will you be okay?"

I cocked an eyebrow. "I'm pregnant not disabled."

"Right, of course." He kissed me again. "I know that."

I watched him walk away with what could almost be described as a spring in his step and shook my head in amusement. A few minutes passed when I saw that I was touching my stomach without even realizing it.

It was the ringing of the doorbell that had me shaking free of my thoughts. The dogs jumped at my feet and barked happily as they followed me to the front door. Two smiling faces greeted me and I was surprised to find myself smiling back. "You're early."

"Someone here doesn't know how to tell time." Dara rolled her eyes but continued to smile, obviously no longer upset at me for what happened at their house the other day; which I might add was absolutely nothing to get riled up about but whatever.

I motioned them inside. "It's fine; Nick's in the shower." I watched Dara help Warrick to the couch but from what I could tell he was doing a majority of the work. That was a good sign. "Can I get you guys anything?"

She eyed me as she sat down beside Warrick, her stomach the largest I had seen it. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Of course I am; what a silly question to ask." I found I couldn't tear my eyes away from her stomach and bit down on my bottom lip. "Why?"

"Hey. My eyes are up here!"

I jerked up my gaze and blushed, not amused at all that both of them were smirking at me. "I was staring at your chest."

"You were not!" Dara laughed. "You were staring at my stomach which by the way is going to explode any second with an alien baby."

"It is not." Warrick laughed. He stroked a hand over her stomach. "Stop saying that."

I watched as they bickered playfully. Would it be like that between Nick and myself? I was still in a state of shock. When was I going to wake up and realize this was a dream?

"Angela?"

"Huh? What?"

Dara and Warrick exchanged glances. "Are you sure that you're okay?"

"Hey! You guys are here already!" Nick was smiling widely as he entered fresh from his shower. His hair was still wet but he had quickly slid on new jeans and a dark green tee shirt. Clasping Warrick on the shoulder he bent to kiss me before dropped down onto the recliner and reached out to tug me into his lap. "Did you tell them?"

"Tell us what?" Dara looked between us. "Is it bad? What's going on?"

"Baby, why do you always assume it's bad?" Warrick pressed his finger to her lips before he concentrated on the two of us again. "What's up?"

Nick's grip on me tightened and I inhaled sharply. "Angela's pregnant."

I watched as both of their mouths dropped open, Warrick recovering faster than Dara who was staring at me in obvious shock. I didn't know what to say so I just kept my mouth shut.

"Congratulations man." Warrick replied after a minute. "You must be excited. I have to tell you, it's a great feeling."

Nick continued to grin. "We just found out. Angie wasn't feeling too well just before you two showed up so she took a test."

"Wow." Dara whispered. "That's just… Wow."

_I'll see your wow and raise you a thousand._

"If you two need a doctor we really like Dr. Mercer don't we Dara?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, she's great."

"We'll definitely schedule an appointment today before work." Nick squeezed my hip and smiled at me. "Okay baby?"

"Uh, sure." I nodded. "Excuse me." I lifted myself off of him and motioned over my shoulder at nothing in particular. "I think I need something to drink."

"Baby, I can-"

"Nick, I'm already up." He settled back down into the chair and distracted by him I never noticed Dara get up from the couch. The dogs rushed to take her place, cuddling up comfortably to Warrick's legs. "And where are you going?"

"To the bathroom?" She cocked an eyebrow. "Unless you get off on pregnant women urinating on your carpet?"

I rolled my eyes. "You caught me but how?" Turning, I walked into the kitchen and busied myself with dragging a cup from the cabinet and filling it with ice. The debate between tea and water raged for several seconds before I gave in and chose the water. I sipped it slowly but didn't return right away to the living room.

"Are you keeping the baby?"

I turned away from the refrigerator. "I guess I am."

Dara stared at me until I almost fidgeted in discomfort. "You're going to be a good mother Angela."

"Right because I've done such a bang up job so far at being a decent human."

"This is a chance for you to start fresh. There's nothing wrong with leaving everything else behind and starting over."

I rolled my eyes at her again and strode out the back but she followed, the door shutting quietly behind us. I squatted down to roll up my jeans and lowered my bare feet into the pool.

"Asshole." Dara huffed. "You know I can't get down that low." She tugged a chair from the deck table over to where I was and plopped down. "There."

"Why did you follow me out here?"

"Because you obviously need some sense talked into you."

"What I need is for this to be a dream." I muttered into my glass. "I can't be pregnant; this is just… This can't be happening to me right now."

"Well it is so you're going to have to deal." She retorted sternly. "And don't glare at me; you're downright scary Angela but I'm hormonal so you're going to have one hell of a fight if you try anything right now."

I sighed into my glass. "I was just getting comfortable again with what I do and now this…" I stared down into the pool. "I don't know if I can stop but how can I continue to live like I have with a child in the picture?"

"You can't. I guess you're going to have to decide what's more important to you."

"I don't know the first thing about being a mom."

"You said mom so that tells me you know more than you think. It's not about being perfect Angela; it's about being there period for your baby. Nothing comes naturally to a first time mother. I could tell you endless horror stories when Madison was first born." She chuckled as I shot her a look. "But I'll spare you the gory details."

"Gee, thanks."

Her lips twisted. "You're welcome." She stared at me. "How far along do you think you are?"

"I don't know."

"You still look pretty slim so it's safe to say you're still in your first couple of months."

"I haven't felt all that great for the past…." I stopped and we looked at each other. "Months?" I cursed as I dropped my cup into the pool. "Mother fucker!"

I was surprised to hear Dara chuckle but the sound died just as quickly. "You don't think it's possible that you could-"

"I don't know, okay?" I watched the cup drift around in the water with no sense of direction. "I just don't fucking know."

She cleared her throat. "It could be Henderson's." She whispered. "Or it could be Warrick's."

"That's it." I stood up. "I'm slicing my wrists."

"Angela, no!"

"What? Too messy? Okay; how about pills? Is that better?"

She was the one to roll her eyes this time as she stood to her feet. "Stop that. There's no need to freak out until you've seen the doctor."

"There's every need to freak out. I'm pregnant."

"Saying it over and over again like that isn't going to make it go away."

I shut my eyes for a split second and when I opened them I cursed. "That shit always works in the movies." I forced myself to sober up before I broke out into petrified laughter. "Can we keep the months thing between us?"

Dara stared at me as if I had grown two heads. "I haven't told anyone about the fact you have an interesting hobby on the side yet you're worried I'm going to rat you out on the number of months you've been pregnant?"

"Look, I'm this close to freaking out right now and -"

"Okay, okay." She chuckled. "Just calm down and we'll handle this."

I eyed her as I stood there. "Why would you do that? Help me at all I mean."

"After everything you've done for me, why wouldn't I?"

I relaxed my shoulders, tension slowly releasing from my body. "We're incredibly messed up, you do realize that right?"

Dara chuckled. "I'm not going to argue with you on that."


	7. Episode 3x07

**A/N: **_I hope everyone had a wonderful Xmas if you celebrated. I was sick mostly the whole time and with some other issues, it wasn't all it usually is cracked up to be. Anyway, here is another update. In case you're wondering and in case I haven't mentioned it already, my visual for Caine is actress Michelle Forbes from BSG, LOST, and now True Blood. I hope to update on this more but for a bit I'm going to try to once again finish my Faith/LOST fic I have on this site. Anyway, enjoy! Reviews are love and I'll try to post again when possible._

**Episode 3x07: Cupcakes and Staplers**

Nick scheduled an appointment with Dr. Natalie Mercer at University Medical Center for Thursday and I spent the majority of my night at work thinking about all the things that could go wrong. On top of that, it certainly didn't help my anxiety that everyone seemed to know about my pregnancy by the time I pulled into the parking lot but I couldn't exactly find the strength to be mad at Nick for blabbing.

He was so incredibly happy and his joy made everyone else seem ten times happier than usual around the station. Other than me it seemed that the staff enjoyed what they did but didn't love it. How could you love something that showed you the worst humanity had offer on a daily basis? I was certain had I not indulged in such a liberating secret life I would have gone crazy years ago from the harsh reality that was my job.

What was I going to do now? A baby didn't fit in with how I lived my life. Was I going to have to give up killing? Was it even possible to do that? As sick as it was I enjoyed what I did and even after all this time I still felt like it gave me purpose but the thought of being pregnant and trying to strap down a man who outweighed me by several pounds of muscle wasn't appealing. Being pregnant would make everything harder and more than likely fuck me sideways in the long run.

Maybe it was time for a vacation.

"You look so incredibly deep in thought right now."

I blinked and focused on Greg who was standing beside me at my desk. I glanced down to see the cupcake in his hand, a tiny birthday candle stuck in the top. "What's this?"

"It's a congratulatory cupcake." He extended the chocolate cupcake towards me. "Pretty soon the doctor will cut down your sugar intake so it's best to get in as much as you can now."

"Hmm…" I took the sweet and lowered it to the table. "What brings you down here? I don't think I have any of your case folders, do I?"

"Maybe I just wanted to come see you."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Greg…"

Smiling, he plopped down on a stool from the counter and rolled over to sit beside me. "We really haven't spoken much lately, not since… you know, and I miss you, that's all."

I smiled and didn't stop myself from reaching out to take his hand. This damn baby was barely the size of a peanut and was already destroying the walls I had built for myself against people. "I appreciate it. Thank you."

"No need to thank me." He squeezed my fingers and smiled. "I heard about Caine bumping you up to head coroner status, you must be thrilled."

I nodded and dropped my hand back into my lap. "I am but I haven't told her about the pregnancy yet; it's going to cause some issues when I need to take maternity leave."

"You'll work it out. She seems really cool; a little firm but cool."

"That she does." I muttered.

"Did you hear about Dara?"

"What are you, Gossip Girl now?" I teased. "What about Dara?"

Greg blushed but shrugged. "Caine cut funds on Ecklie's little detective side project and instead gave Dara her own office to run a cold case division."

I stared at him. "You don't say."

"I do."

"Well, that's good. She can work until she has her baby."

He nodded. "Maybe you can do that as well. Caine can give you an office too!"

I glanced around the morgue. "I have an office."

"No offense Angela but you do realize this is a morgue right? What happens when you start getting sick more often or your feet hurt? There are restrictions against how much you can do especially where it concerns blood and other materials that could be harmful to not only you but the baby if you get exposed."

"Greg…" I brought my gaze back to his and sighed. He was just being concerned Greg, how could I be angry at him for that? "I appreciate you looking out for me but it's a little early to be thinking about that kind of stuff. Let's just see what the doctor has to say on Thursday and go from there."

"Can I come to your appointment?"

"And have the doctor think there's two daddies?" I gasped. "How scandalous."

"Hey, I want to be there for my little niece or nephew every step of the way." When I stared at him for a minute, the smile disappeared from his face. "Aw, Ang, I'm sorry, I-"

I shook my head and reached out to pat his cheek. "Don't apologize." He had no way of knowing that my attention had been focused more on the prospect of multiple fathers than him accidently insinuating he was taking my brother's place. I knew he hadn't meant that so why give it much thought? "I think Nick and I want to go to this first visit alone but maybe later okay?"

He nodded and rose from the stool. "Angela…"

"Uncle Greg, that has a nice ring to it doesn't it?"

His grin widened. "Yeah, it does."

"Good, now shoo; I've got work to pretend to do."

070707070707070707070

Dara's office reminded me of a supply closet that had once been used as a bomb shelter. I scrunched up my nose at the dust that was on some of the shelves haphazardly positioned on the white walls before I glanced over at her desk. "Caine didn't describe this as a promotion did she?"

"Actually it was more like a pick this option or pick unemployment type deal."

I smirked and shut the door behind me. "Wow, it stayed on the frame; impressive."

"Shut up. I'm being told this is only temporary until the paint in my office dries."

"What crawled up your panties and died? Did it come from this room?"

She eyed me as I sat down in the only chair she had and chuckled the second I flinched at the dust that came away when I lifted my hand from the plastic arm. "Your ass is probably covered in dust now."

"I'm sure when I stand up, you'll tell me." I leered at her. I chuckled when she blushed and directed her gaze to the stack of cold case folders on her desk.

"What brings you to my little hole in the wall?"

"I was just curious to see what your office looked like, that's all."

She looked up again, eyebrow raised. "That's all?"

I started to shrug then stopped myself halfway. "Earlier today I saw Henderson leave your office. What was that about?"

"Are you spying on me?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Dara lowered her pen onto the open folder in front of her. "Why would you do that?"

"Oh, don't act like I haven't done it in the past. And stop avoiding the question, what did Henderson want?"

She rubbed at her forehead, obviously a tad miffed at me, and sighed. "He wanted to welcome me back. He came in, said a few things and then he left."

"Oh."

"Oh what?" She eyed me. "Were you expecting more? Has he talked to you since you've been back?"

I wiped my hands free of dust and sneezed. "Holy shit, this office is filthy."

"Angela…"

"He might have said a few things that made me feel like Dr. Phil but other than that, no. He just seems to be having some issues with his co-workers; it's nothing he can't handle Dara."

"He shouldn't have to handle it; he'd risk his life for anyone on this force and them treating him like shit all because of one mistake isn't fair."

"Sleeping with me is a mistake?"

"That's not what I meant; I'm just saying that…"

I chuckled and waved away her sputtering. "I know what you meant. I'll talk to Nick and see what I can do; I don't like Henderson being the black sheep any more than you do. Sex with him was…" I paused. "It was something I did in an attempt to disconnect myself from giving a shit anymore and it obviously didn't work."

"Does Henderson know that?"

"I offered sex, that's what he got. What else does he need to know?"

"That he's not worthless? That he's a good detective and a good man and people refusing to even speak to him is a pile of bullshit because he deserves better!"

Eyebrows up, I stared at her and tried hard to smother the smile off my face. "Whoa tiger, what do you feed that thing?"

Dara rolled her eyes and snatched up her pen again. "Keep up with the jokes Angela." She poked the sharp end of the pen at me. "In a couple of months you'll be right where I am and wishing you'd kept your mouth shut."

"I'm capable of a lot of things but keeping my mouth shut doesn't seem to be one of them. Look, I'll talk to Nick and I'll go see about Henderson later."

"You sure that's a good idea? It's only going to give the rumor mill more to talk about if you two keep hanging around each other."

I shrugged and stood up. "I don't really give a shit about the rumor mill and if anyone says anything, I'll just kill them." I almost burst out laughing as for a second Dara hesitated with uncertainty before she noticed the smirk on my face. "Just kidding."

"You better be."

Still smiling, I slid my hands into the pockets of my lab coat and paused. "Oh, I almost forgot." I pulled out a red stapler and lowered it onto her desk. "Nick made me watch this movie, Office Space, the other day? When I heard they were moving you around so much I thought, what the hell."

Dara stared down at the stapler and smiled. "That's great, thank you."

"You're welcome." I grinned. "Try to keep the dust off of it."

070707070707070707070

I dumped another two packets into my coffee and watched as the white flakes were devoured by the brown liquid. My goal to reach for a stirrer was hindered however as my cup was taken and I watched helplessly as the coffee was poured down the drain. "Hey! I was so gonna drink that!"

"If you're thirsty, this will do wonders for you."

I eyed the bottle of water but accepted it without putting up much of a fight. "Is this where you tell me I'm getting promoted again and you stick me some broom closet?"

Director Caine shook her head as she began to fix herself a cup of coffee. "I assured Dara that her location was only temporary. Paint fumes are no joking matter."

"Agreed but couldn't you have at least given her a desk with all four legs?" I was amused when she chuckled reaching for the creamer.

"That desk, and all four of its legs, will do the job until it's time to relocate her next week."

I opened my water and sipped at the cold liquid as I watched her. "Don't even think about sticking me in an office, refurnished or not."

"I was told you would be stubborn."

"My reputation precedes me."

"Speaking of which, I'd like to talk to you about a few things in my office if you wouldn't mind."

I always hated when people said that; when you attached an undeniable command with a please, it never came out as a request. "Of course I don't mind." I lied.

She shut the door behind us as we entered but took a seat on the couch instead of behind her desk as I expected. Awkwardly I lowered myself down beside her and we both sipped at our drinks.

She cradled her cup carefully in her lap. "Are you aware of Detective Mike Henderson's current status here at the station?"

"Um, working?"

"Would you maybe like to talk about the extent of your relationship with him?"

"No."

"Okay, let me rephrase that question," Director Caine smiled. "Would you like to talk about your involvement with him because from my viewpoint, the issues he's having with his fellow officers stems from his full hands on approach in dealing with the opposite sex."

I smiled thinly. "They don't call him the ladies man for nothing."

"I know that Henderson is a good cop but recently his… indiscretions have cost him not only partner but the trust of those around him. If people can't trust their co-worker to have their back, it makes for a difficult work environment."

"Before the incident Dara was his partner, I doubt her opinion in him has changed."

"I wasn't referring to Dara. I've been told that Brass as assigned several detectives to Henderson since the incident and all have refused or requested a transfer after only a few days."

Inwardly I let out a huge sigh. "I pity him really but how is that my problem?"

"Do you not care about his recent problems?"

"Of course I…." I paused and swallowed down more water. "Look, it sucks that he isn't as liked as he used to be over something that really was no one else's business but there really isn't much I can do for him. They don't care for me anymore than they do him now; the only reason they're not shunning me is because of Nick."

Director Caine leaned back against the couch in a relaxed slouch. "If I cannot rectify this situation in a way that suits all parties involved, it's going to be my recommendation that Henderson is transferred to another precinct."

"What?" I sat up straighter. "You can't do that; it would destroy him."

"You think coming in day after day to this situation is any better? I had to intervene just earlier today in a situation where another cop spit in his coffee." She frowned. "How is this location a better alternative to starting fresh in another area?"

"All you're doing is prolonging the abuse. They'll simply call the guys over there and it'll start all over again once he's settled in." I caped my water bottle. "I'll talk to Nick and see what I can do about getting the guys to back off but don't send Henderson away. He's been working here for years; he deserves better."

"Perhaps you should have thought about that before you slept with him, yes?"

I glared at her but I couldn't argue that she had a good point. "What happened between Henderson and myself was private and a onetime thing. Nick and I were at a very bad part in our relationship and we took a short break but the people here don't see that. They just see something to run their mouths about so they're not concentrating so much on their own pathetic lives."

She shocked me by inclining her head in what I assumed was a nod. "What would you suggest I do Ms. Wilkins?"

"Partner Henderson back up with someone who doesn't mind; someone like Dara."

"She's not suited to go out into the field."

"But Henderson is. Make him do her leg work and he can report back to her." I snorted. "You can make her his boss."

I watched her think over my suggestion. "She does need assistance."

I grinned. "Trust me, it'll give him something to do besides sit in his office all day and pout. He's good with her and I'm not talking about him being a man; I'm talking about him being a friend." I rose to my feet. "I will talk to Nick."

Director Caine rose to her feet as well. "Very well. I'll discuss options with Ms. Waters."


	8. Episode 3x08

**A/N: **_And I'm back. I can't seem to stay away from this story plus I have bad writer's block when it comes to Tabula Rasa so oh well. I hope you all had a good break, etc. Unfortunately for most it's back to the grind with school and work, boo on that. Anyway, enjoy this chapter and take care! Updates coming sooner I promise :)._

**Episode 3x08: The Waving of the White Flag**

I found Nick in the break room hanging with a couple of cops. They were all laughing about something and for a second I hung back as I watched Henderson hesitate before he entered the room from the other door. The cops immediately stopped laughing but Nick continued talking. Henderson did well at acting as if he didn't notice their hard stares as he fixed his coffee. He grabbed his lunch from the fridge and my eyes narrowed as I watched him look into the bag and sigh before tossing it in the trashcan.

A couple of the cops laughed. "What's the matter Henderson? Your food spoil?"

The muscle in his jaw jumped but he merely shook his head and dug out his wallet for the vending machine. One of the cops, Anders was his last name, leaned onto one side of the machine, a second cop named Fowler positioning himself on the other side. "I think this one is out of order Henderson." Anders smiled. "You might want to try the machine down the street."

Fowler chuckled and snatched the dollar out of Henderson's hand. "Shouldn't you be sticking this in the G-string of some stripper somewhere anyway?"

"Look guys, I just want to get something to eat."

"And we want cops that will watch our backs and not our girlfriend's asses." Anders replied.

I started to move forward when Nick cleared his throat. "That's enough guys."

Fowler laughed. "We were just having some fun with him Stokes; Henderson's a big boy, he doesn't mind, do you Mikey?"

He stared at Fowler. "Yeah." He replied evenly. "I don't mind."

"See!?" Fowler folded the dollar and stuck it into his pocket. "I might need this later. That okay with you?"

"By all means, help yourself."

Nick's gaze shifted past them and I knew the second he spotted me. My frown deepened as I put my hands on my hips and jerked my head towards Henderson.

Anders was still chuckling. "Don't you have work to do Henderson? Somewhere out there a little old lady needs her cat rescued from a tree."

I had enough at that point. "I think the man said he wanted something to eat." I dug into my jeans and pulled out a five dollar bill. "Here."

"I can't do that Angela."

"Take it."

"Yeah, take it." Fowler chuckled. "Just another thing from her you've-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll call your wife and tell her how you got a rash from a hooker last Halloween." I snapped at him. I turned my attention back to Henderson. "This isn't negotiable. Take it."

"I can't-"

"Put it away Angela." Nick grabbed onto my hand and shoved a brown bag towards Henderson at the same time. "Here Henderson; I have some leftovers you can have; someone packed my lunch a little full today."

"You said you were hungry!" I protested.

"I was baby but three sandwiches?" He directed his small smile at Henderson. "There should be some chips in there too."

Slowly Henderson took the bag. "Thanks Stokes; I appreciate it."

"Not a problem." Nick glanced over at Fowler. "Don't talk to Angela like that again."

"Sorry Stokes; we were just having a little fun."

"Well I think your idea of fun and mine aren't exactly the same so why don't we just leave it alone for now okay? Enough damage has been done."

Both cops nodded and left the break room but not before shooting one last look at Henderson. He sighed and lowered himself into a seat. "I appreciate what you did." He extended the bag back towards Nick.

"I don't want it back."

"But I thought-"

"I was offering the food because you needed it, not because I wanted to get you out of trouble and expected it back. Those guys can be a little over the top."

Henderson nodded and dug into the bag. "Tell me about it; they've been sitting outside of my house for the past week and this morning my car wouldn't start."

I glared at Nick. "Your friends are assholes."

"My friends?" He scoffed.

"Well, they're certainly not my friends; that's for damn sure."

Nick chuckled and leaned in to kiss me, his hand pressing against my stomach. "I have to go but make sure he eats okay?"

I nodded and studied his brown eyes before I kissed him back. "I love you."

"I love you too baby."

I watched him go before I turned to stare down at Henderson. "One word about my cooking and I'll skin you alive."

He chuckled as he unwrapped the sandwich. "I have to admit, I was expecting a bomb not a sandwich."

"Nick just needed some time." I lowered myself down into a chair across from him. "Sure, he's still a bit angry at the situation but kicking a man when he's down just isn't his style." I watched him slowly begin to eat. "Ignore them and they'll eventually give up."

"That's easy for you to say; you don't have to work with them."

"The way Caine tells it neither do you at the moment."

"Temporary setback."

I smiled. "I see. Is being stalked and labeled a pariah part of the plan as well?"

He chuckled and sipped at his coffee. "Guess so." He cleared his throat. "I appreciate you trying to help me out but maybe it's not such a great idea that we're seen together."

"Tough shit because despite your fondness for thinking with your dick, I kinda like you as a person."

Henderson actually smiled but it was fleeting. "I don't always think with my dick you know."

My smile melted away too. "I know." I nodded. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I never meant for anyone to find out and I knew you weren't going to be malicious about it towards Nick, that's partly why I chose you."

"Partly?"

I cleared my throat, my eyes on his. "Sure, you're hot but... I hit a rough patch with Nick and I thought that if I did something… Well, let's just say I've always been good at pushing people away because I thought that's what I had to do in order to protect myself."

"But it didn't work."

"No, it didn't." I snorted. "I had to get involved with the most stubborn, sweetest person I've ever met."

Henderson's soft eyes studied me. "But you love him."

"I do and despite my faults, he loves me."

"What faults?"

"See, I knew the old Henderson was in there somewhere." I stood up. "I'll let you finish your meal in peace but one more thing I might mention…"

"Let me guess, there IS a bomb."

I smirked and shook my head. "If you feel like thanking me later, I take gifts in the form of coffee or gold and I really like money."

"Thank you? Angela?" I was already heading out the door. "Thank you for what?!"

"You'll see!"

08080808080808080

Dr. Natalie Mercer was a petite brunette with a gentle smile and I was hit with the most incredible urge to confess all my sins to her. Her gentle nature and the way she handled herself went a long way at putting me at ease in the sterile environment but that wasn't to say I released Nick's hand from the Vulcan death grip I had it in.

"Baby, relax." Nick whispered pressing his lips to my temple. "You're entirely too tense."

Dr. Mercer smiled at the both of us. "First baby?"

He nodded. "First of many I hope." He smiled down at me as I continued to force myself to relax on the table. Lying in the cold room in a thin paper gown rated right up there with being fucked in the –

"Kids are great." Dr. Natalie was gushing. "My husband and I have five."

"Five?" I lifted my head to stare at her. "How are you not insane by now?"

She chuckled even as Nick shushed me. "I have a wonderful husband." She giggled and concentrated on writing things down on her clipboard. "And he's not hard on the eyes if you get my drift."

I actually laughed as I rested my head back down. "They're called condoms Doc."

"Baby…"

Dr. Mercer chuckled again. "Okay, I think I have all the information that I need." She tossed the clipboard onto the counter and reached for her gloves. "Let's get a look at your baby shall we?"

I eyed the machine she pulled towards me but stayed still even as she coated my stomach with a cold gel. I didn't want to look at the monitor so I stared at Nick, taking in his every reaction. He hadn't stopped smiling since we entered the office.

"Your face has to hurt from smiling so much."

He glanced down at me and kissed my temple again. "I don't even notice it." His eyes flickered back up to the monitor. "Oh baby."

"What? What is it? Are there two heads?" My head snapped to the monitor and I froze at the sight of the flickering spot on the screen.

"It's a heartbeat." Dr. Mercer smiled. She traced on the screen with her finger. "This is your baby."

I felt something in me break and I stared at the flicker almost transfixed. "Does it… Does it look okay?"

"Your baby seems perfectly healthy." She assured me. "The heartbeat is strong and all the vitals look good. I'll take a few snaps for you to take home." She busied herself with working. "By my calculations you're almost three months so I'll schedule you for another appointment in four weeks and give you some vitamins to take home along with some pamphlets."

"Two months." I calculated quickly in my head and felt myself relax even further. "That sounds good."

I was quiet while we finished and remained that way long after we got back into the car. The sonogram pictures were in my hand and I stared down at the image, fingers tracing the circled area where the heart had flickered its fast beat.

"Angela?"

Two months. The baby was Nick's. There was no doubt about it.

"Sweetheart?"

I broke down into tears just as we pulled into the driveway. Nick made a cooing sound in the back of his throat and parked, coming around to my side minutes later to open my door and pull me into his arms.

"It's okay baby; don't cry." He carried me into the house miraculously without dropping me. The dogs were barking in excitement, practically jumping all over each other in an attempt to get to us but he merely shushed them as he continued towards the bedroom.

Nick laid me down on our bed and joined me after tossing our shoes aside. He didn't say anything. He didn't ask me what was wrong or demand that I explain; he simply held me until I fell asleep.

08080808080808080

I woke to dry cheeks and a shrieking phone. The space between me was empty, the sheets cold, but on the other side of the bed I could feel the dogs pressing against me. I shifted slowly to not crush them and managed to sit up just as the bedroom door opened.

"Babe?"

I rubbed my eyes. "What is it Nicky?"

"Your parents are on the phone."

Sighing, I flopped back down onto my pillow and beat it a few times with my fist before I lowered my head down onto it. "I don't have parents."

"Angela, they want to talk to you."

"I don't want to-"

"I told them about the baby."

I sat up again and glared at him. "Why would you do that?" I snapped. "I cannot believe you!"

"Well, believe it." He tossed the phone onto the bed. "And you better believe I'm going to rent out a billboard downtown to announce it too. I love you and you're sexy when you pout but I swear to God if you don't pick up that phone…" He let the threat linger in the air and we stared at each other for several seconds before I grabbed the phone.

Grinning, he whistled for the dogs and the second they were out the door, he shut it behind him. I amused myself by flipping off the door before I pressed the phone to my ear. "What?"

"We love you Angela." My mother was already crying. "Please don't hang up."

I wanted to but at the same time I found myself enjoying the sound of her voice. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

She sniffled. "Your father and I didn't think it was a good idea because we never saw you as being adopted Angela. You came to us when you were a baby and it was like you were meant to be with us. We raised you as our own flesh and blood; we never looked at you differently, not once and we didn't want you to feel like you were."

"I think I deserved the right to know."

"I'm sorry. Please don't shut us out of your life."

"How can you expect me to trust you when you've lied to me for so long?" I questioned. "You told me time and time again to look after Andy because that's what a big sister did but we were never even related!"

"Andrew didn't know that Angela."

"And Temperance? Did she know?"

"Yes."

I breathed in and out slowly. "Did you tell her not to say anything to me?"

"She understood our reasons not to tell you Angela. You have to believe us when we say we never did this to hurt you. You're our daughter and we're your family. You can't truly hate us for that, can you?"

I wanted to hate them but I couldn't. They had done so much for me while I was growing up including working hard to get me accepted into a credited university to ensure that I would have a solid future. They had never once treated me any differently from the other children and the only true road bumps I remembered occurred around the time Andy was murdered. I sighed. "It might take me a while to forgive you but… but I don't hate you Mother."

She broke down into quiet tears again and I listened to her in silence. "Thank God for that." She sniffled. "I thought I had lost another child."

I waited to speak again until she has composed herself. "I guess Nick told you the news."

"What news?"

I frowned. "He didn't tell you?"

"No." My mother answered. "All he said was that he knew of a way to make you talk to me." She paused. "What in the world is going on?"

"Nothing." _That hot bastard of mine. _"I was wondering if you and Father wanted to come to Vegas for a couple of days."

"We would love that! How soon can we come?!"

_I'm already regretting this. _"Whenever is fine. We have a guest bedroom here if you would like to stay with us."

"Why certainly; that sounds fantastic." My mother began to rattle off plans and ideas in my ear and I let her.

When she exhausted herself, I spoke again. "Call me when you decide your flight and we'll pick you up at the airport." I hung up just as the door opened again and scowled. "You are in trouble."

"Who, me?" Nick laughed.

"Yes, you, smart ass." I remained where I was and he crawled onto the bed to join me. "You lied to me."

He pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. "I did but it was time you spoke to them." He drifted his hand up and down my arm. "Feel better now?"

I buried my face into his neck and nodded. "I invited them to come stay with us a couple of days. I didn't want to tell them about the baby over the phone."

"I can understand. I haven't told my parents either."

I leaned back to catch his eyes. "When are you going to tell them?"

"Well…" He smiled as he drifted his hand over my hair. "I was talking to Rick earlier and he seems to be feeling better so I was thinking that just maybe…. We could get our family to come and have our wedding in the backyard?"

My mind went blank as I stared at him. "You, what?"

"I thought it was a good idea. Have you changed you mind?"

"You want to get married and have a baby?"

Nick laughed. "I can't have both?" He cupped the back of my neck. "Can I have both Angie?" He pressed his lips to mine softly. "Please?"

I melted into his kiss, unable to stop myself from agreeing. "I guess."

"You guess?"

His hands attacked my sides and I laughed, squealing as I tried to wiggle away from him to no avail. My laughter was soon stopped by his mouth and I threw my arms around his neck with a sigh. The moment was over too soon however as Nick's phone begun to ring and I groaned in disappointment the second he pulled away.

"Nick Stokes." He smiled. "Hey Rick. Yeah, we're back." He winked at me. "Everything's fine, the visit went great. She's two months." He listened to Warrick say something and smiled. "I will. Okay, tell Dara hi for us. You too. Bye."

I smirked as he shut the phone and tossed it over his shoulder into the floor. As happy as he looked that very second, I imagined Warrick was doing mental somersaults.

"Now where were we?"

"You were going to call your parents."

"I was?"

"Yep." I responded as I rose up from the bed. "And I'm going to go fix something to eat before work."

Nick smiled happily. "Good idea. You are eating for two now."

"That's right, I am." I gave him a small smile that widened when he moved to kiss me. I felt him press his hand against my stomach as the kiss deepened and I almost broke down into a flood of tears at the feeling of warmth that exploded inside of me. There would be no tears this time however, and with that comfortable knowledge I threw my arms around him seconds before he tugged me back down onto the bed.


	9. Episode 3x09

**Episode 3x09: The End of the World As We Know It**

My one-time oasis still loomed untouched in the distance. I cut off the car engine and slipped slowly from the driver's seat to eye the abandoned industrial building. It hadn't burned down as I had originally thought. Some other building blocks down had that honor instead thanks to bored teenagers. No, the place I took criminals to die was still intact and waiting on my return.

I shut my car door and clutched my keys in my hand. I wasn't going to return though was I? I had family now to think about. My free hand went to my stomach and I inhaled sharply at the barrage of feelings that came barreling into me all at once. I was going to have a child. This child would look to me for protection, for guidance, for… for love. Was I even capable of giving a child those things?

One thing was for certain, I wasn't going to be able to give my child anything from behind bars. I was going to have to stop, perhaps not forever but at least for the time being. If I wasn't careful and they discovered who I truly was, they would take her from me.

_Her?_ I frowned at myself. I was imagining it to be a little girl, dark hair with my eyes and Nick's warm smile. The image in my head of this strange yet familiar creature was strangely pleasing but the feeling faded just as quickly as it had appeared thanks to the thoughts of someone taking her from me. That was never going to happen. Regardless of how I felt about my capabilities as a mother or even as a human being, I was never going to let anyone take anything I loved from me ever again.

_I love this baby? I do. Wait, I do?_

"More than you love me?"

"Yes." I snapped. "More than I love you."

"That's because you don't love me." Nicole appeared from the corner of my eye. "You don't fucking love anything, not anymore and a baby isn't going to change that. It's not going to change who you are."

I stared at the image of the victim I had seen countless times in my mind. "I can love this child. I am capable of loving this child." I repeated firmly.

She chuckled as she leaned against the side of my Toyota. "You'll never love anything but the surge of power you get from the kill. Why do you think you haven't been able to stop? This baby isn't going to change anything about your life. As soon as it stops sucking on your breast, you'll be back out there cutting idiots into scraps."

"Shut your mouth."

"The truth hurts, I know, but that's why I'm here, to remind you of these things. You need me. That's why you keep bringing me back and that's why you'll never be free of this life you've created for yourself, spawn or not."

"I said shut your fucking mouth!"

Nicole smirked as she straightened up, shoulders back. "I'd tell you to shut it for me but we all know how I love pain don't we?" She chuckled and stared at me with those amused, dead eyes. "You've been having the dreams again haven't you?"

The question was rhetorical; after all, Nicole wasn't real, she was a figment of my imagination I had created in order to cope with my own dangerous actions. I had to separate myself into two beings, it was the only way I stayed sane while doing the things I've done.

"They're not going to go away."

"Maybe not." I answered. "But you will. I'm going to lock you away like I did years ago and you're never going to bother me again."

"Good luck with that. When your dreams start to come true Angela, you know where to find me." She smiled. "I'm the only thing in this world that has never let you down and I don't intend to start now."

I shut my eyes, hands pressing to my stomach, and when I opened them again, she was gone. It was the sound of a car approaching that diverted my attention from where she had once been standing and I looked past my car to see Dara's Nissan pulling up. I turned to face her and with a casual slouch against the side of my car, I waited for her to get out of her vehicle.

"I had no idea pregnancy and psychic ability went hand in hand."

"There's a lot about pregnancy you're going to be finding out."

I wanted to say something sarcastic but there was no point especially since she was right. I went with something more logical. "How'd you find me?"

"I was tailing you about a block down ever since you left your house. I thought for sure you'd see me and pull over but you just kept going."

I scowled but my frustration wasn't directed at her. How fucking lazy was I becoming to not even be checking my rearview mirrors now? A few years back that wouldn't have happened; hell, a lot of things wouldn't have happened. "What do you want?"

She obviously had gotten used to me because she didn't even look offended by my abrupt question. "I thought about your offer and I want to take it." She extended a folder towards me. "I might have found someone you might be interested in taking a look at too."

I eyed the folder. "You're kidding right?" I looked up. "What'd you do, pick a lucky number or just draw a folder at random?"

"Isn't that what you do?" She batted her eyelashes at me innocently for a split second before she rolled her eyes. "Regardless of what you might think, I've given this some thought; I've done the research so it's not based on some whim. Just take a look at the file and let me know what you think."

"And then what?"

"And then we take care of it."

"We?" I snatched the folder out of her hand. "We're not doing anything. The deal was that you helped me with information, that's it."

"If I'm going to risk my career to help you, I'm going to get in on the action Angela. I'm risking my neck too you know!"

Sticking the folder under my arm I let out a long sigh. "And what exactly do you have in mind my dear Watson?"

Dara crossed her arms over her chest and gave me her most defiant look. I held back my chuckle. "I'll find the information and cases you want in exchange for being there when you kill them."

My answer wasn't even hesitant. "Absolutely not."

"Why not? It's not like it will be new to me, I was there with Edward remember?"

"That was different."

"No, it wasn't. He deserved to die and you took care of it while I watched. That's how it should be from now on; that's how it has to be."

"I hate to burst your bubble but someone might figure out our whole self-defense and alibi routine after a few times Dara."

"This isn't funny Angela; I'm being completely serious about this!"

She was. I could see it on her face but I wasn't sure if she was trying to sell me more on the idea or herself. I could see parts of Dara beginning to crumble into a mess of uncertainty and relentless nightmares. Immediately I recognized the starved look on her face. She wanted to be there in order to watch Edward die over and over again. It was the only thing she believed would bring her peace.

Dara was wrong; it was never going to bring her peace. It was only going to create an endless cycle that would rot you from the inside until you felt as dead as your victims. You had to cling to something constant and good or you'd lose your humanity. I had come close once. I wasn't willing to go that far again, especially now when that life growing inside of my stomach was depending on me to be strong.

_Oh for fuck's sake, snap out of it, you sound like a fucking Hallmark card._

"I'll look at the file and think about it."

Her shoulders relaxed and I watched her gaze around. "Why did you come out here?"

I looked around at the industrial landscape as well. "I used to come to this building late at night to do my work." I answered honestly. "This is where I killed Clarissa Holland." _God, it felt good to say things out loud to someone real._ I felt pounds of weight being lifted off my shoulders with each word I spoke.

"Why did you kill her? Did it have something to do with the Rawlins case like I suspected?"

"She killed them because she wanted to be like me. She was very sick."

_Aw, come on now; Clarissa wasn't so bad. She could have been the Thelma to your Louise if only you hadn't been so damn greedy._

"So you'd come out here to use the furnaces but when the buildings started to burn down…"

"I decided it was no longer safe. Edward was the first kill I'd had in months."

"Are you telling me you had quit?"

I kept my gaze far away from her. "I had given it some thought."

"God, it's… it's all my fault." Dara lifted her hand to her mouth.

If she threw up, I was going to throw up and she might throw up again and… _Stop thinking about it before you throw up_.

"If I hadn't been so stupid, you wouldn't have…"

_Oh that's rich; she actually thinks she matters in the grand scheme of things._

"It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with surviving." I spoke firmly. "It's not…" I picked at my words carefully. "It's not an obsession or a need; I can stop whenever I want to stop."

_That's what you think Angela. It's too late for stopping now. It's in your blood; it's a part of you._

I looked down at the folder. "I'm… We're going to need a new location. I won't return here again."

Dara was frowning as she stared at me. "You don't have to do this Angela. Like you said, you can stop. Let's just forget I even brought it up."

"It's too late for that now isn't it?" I snapped raising my gaze to hers again. "If you're so hard pressed to prove yourself, why wait? My parents are flying in tomorrow and will be here for two days so it'll give you some time to look for a new location. Once they're gone we'll go to work."

"I…"

"Do you want to do this or not?"

She cleared her throat with a quick swallow. "I'll find a place."

"Make sure it has a furnace or a fireplace. No windows, a basement preferably, and someplace where there aren't people around. We want the body count to be minimal Dara." I stared at her. "But if I have to I'll do whatever it takes to get out of a sticky situation, understand?"

"I understand Angela."

"Good." I jerked open my car door and tossed the folder inside. "You should go home now. It's too hot to be standing out here and I'm sure Warrick's worried sick about you."

"Actually he said he was going to your house to see Nick."

I bit the inside of my cheek twice, the first time by accident. "Oh. Oh, well that's..." I bit my cheek one more time for good measure. "That's great."

Dara actually smiled. "Don't act so excited." She teased. "I think they just wanted to hang out and play video games, you know how boys are."

"Is Warrick disappointed you're not having a boy?"

She looked surprised by the question but continued to smile. "No, he's happy and very excited."

"Nick was hoping we were having twins so we could have both sexes."

"Was the doctor able to tell the sex of your baby your last visit?"

"It's too early to tell." I dropped my hand the second I realized I was pressing it against my stomach. "I think Nick wants… Well, I don't really know what Nick wants."

"I'm sure he just wants a healthy baby Angela."

I dropped my eyes to swell of her stomach. "You're in no condition to be helping me Dara. You're almost seven months pregnant. Getting you involved isn't fair to your child or to Warrick. If something happens to you…"

"Nothing is going to happen. I'm only going to watch."

"And you think merely watching isn't going to affect you?"

Dara squared her shoulders back. "We can round and round about this until we're both blue in the face but I'm not going to change my mind."

I pushed down the urge to throttle her. If she wasn't pregnant I'd knock some sense into her, pushing and pushing until she screamed that she had changed her mind. "Suit yourself." I dug for my keys. "I'm going to head back to my house. You are going to follow me, right?"

She caught sight of my smirk and nodded. "I'll be right behind you."

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My hands were sweating. I kept shifting my weight back and forth. I chewed on my bottom lip and let out what had to be the millionth long sigh of the day.

"Baby, you're going to hyperventilate if you don't calm down."

I shot Nick a sharp look from where he stood beside me, the two of us battling wave after wave of tourists and citizens in the Las Vegas National airport. "I'm not going to hyperventilate." I made face at him. "Mind your own business."

"Baby, you are my business."

I wanted to argue out of defensive need but I found I couldn't do anything but smile as he pulled me close and nuzzled my neck. "Stop!" I giggled as I squirmed. "They're going to show up at any second and the first impression of you they're going to get is a perverted one."

"The only impression they're going to get while they're here is that I love you and I love our family." He pressed his lips to my ear. "That's all that matters."

Our eyes connected and I smiled as I looped my arms around his neck. "I love you Nicky."

"Angela!"

I twisted away from him and caught sight of my parents coming towards us. My mother was almost running, my father following at a more sedate pace with their luggage. I only manage two steps forward before she was throwing her arms around my neck and literally squeezing the life out of me. "Mother!" I slowly hugged her back and cringed at the sound of her crying. "Mother, please stop crying."

"She's been doing that since we boarded the plane back in New York." My father grunted with a small smile. "Airline thought she was unstable or some nonsense but sometimes I wonder." He lowered the bags in his hands and eyed Nick. "You must be Nicholas."

I untangled myself from my mother to watch my father extend his hand to Nick. Nick was smiling as he moved forward to accept the handshake. "Mr. Wilkins, you can call me Nick; it's a pleasure to meet you sir."

"You've got a good handshake on you Son."

I felt air rush from my lungs, all bits of tension seep from me at hearing my father say that. I couldn't stop myself as I stepped forward and like mother like daughter, I threw my arms around my father's neck to hug him.

"It's good to see you Angela." My father was no fan of hugs himself and stepped back to capture my face his hands. "I have missed you."

The words held deeper meaning than the people moving around us could ever understand. "I missed you too Daddy." I stepped back before I could dwell too long on the emotions I was feeling and looked between my parents. "Mother, Father, this is Nick." I grabbed his hand and smiled at him. "Nick, this is my mother Delia and my father Terrance."

My mother was smiling as she stepped forward to hug Nick and kiss his cheek. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Nick."

"Likewise ma'am." He moved forward to grab one of the bags at my father's feet. "How about we get out of this crowd and head to the house? Angela has been cooking dinner all day."

My mother's eyes widened. "Angela has been cooking?"

To be honest I had been helping Nick, the hardest task had been fixing up the salad while he worked on glazing the steaks. I slanted my eyes. "What Nick means is that we've been cooking dinner all day."

He smiled back at me. "I can't argue with that look can I?"

"Nope."

My father grunted as he picked up the other bag at his feet. "The sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be Nick."

"I'll make note of it sir."

"Call me Terrance I insist. You're going to be a part of our family. It's only right."

I watched Nick and my father precede to the exit leaving me behind with my mother who was gazing at me softly, tears in her eyes. "Mother." I sighed and reached for her bag. "If you're going to cry the whole time, I pray to God you'll do it where I can't see you."

"I'm not crying because I'm upset. I'm very happy and proud of you Angela."

"Happy tears or not you know I don't like to see you cry." We started after the two. "How was the flight?"

"Long and dreadful, I hate flying. Your father slept the entire time, typical." She chuckled and looped her arm through mine. "That Nick is such a handsome, polite fellow. Where in the world did you meet him?"

"He's a crime scene investigator at the station where I work."

"I was hoping you'd have another job by now." She cleared her throat at seeing the look I sent her direction. "But this one seems to be making you happy and keeping food on your table so who am I to disapprove?" She patted my arm. "So tell me more about Nick. How did you two meet exactly?"

I hated going over facts when I knew I'd have to repeat them later at the dinner table for my father. Perhaps he was grilling Nick while Mother was grilling me and they would compare stories later. Now that would be typical. "We work together. He asked me out and one thing lead to another."

My mother chuckled and patted my arm again. I flinched at the contact but she didn't seem to notice. "I imagine by the way Nick is smiling that your father is getting a more detailed version."

"I see some things haven't changed."

"Some things never will Angela, like how we love you." She smiled at me. "He really is handsome."

"Why else would I pick him?" I remarked sarcastically.

My mother actually giggled and I was tempted to ask how many cocktails she had downed on the flight in order to calm her nerves. "I'm so very happy for you Angela. I know it's been a good while since we were able to talk like this and actually see each other but I'm glad to see that things have been good to you here." She sobered up, clearing her throat. "I'm glad that you've been able to build a new life and find someone as wonderful as Nick seems to be to share it with."

"He doesn't seem to be wonderful. He is wonderful." I slowed my steps as we approached Nick's truck. "Nick is everything to me and despite still wanting your approval even after everything we've been through together, I'm going to marry him regardless of what you think about him because I love him. I'm not going to change my mind about that." I stopped my rant when I noticed she was smiling at me. "What?"

She reached out to clasp a hand onto my shoulder, squeezing once before she released me. "Your reactions tell me all I need to know about your young man Angela. If you love him that much and this is truly the life you want, why shouldn't you have it?"

"I don't… I don't want to let you down." _Christ, why did I say that? That wasn't the truth. It wasn't!_

"You've never let me down Angela." My mother's face was serious almost to the point of somberness. "No matter what has happened in our lives, I've never been disappointed or loved you any less. You'll always be my daughter."

"Are you two girls going to talk here all day or can we go?"

I shifted to see Nick chuckling as my father stared at us with a cocked eyebrow and stern look on his face. The expression lasted only a few seconds before the corner of his mouth turned upwards. "Hold your horses Old Man, we're coming."

"Angela!" My mother laughed. "Your father is not old, you take that back."

"Too late, the truth is already out there."

I chuckled as my father rolled his eyes playfully and turned away to help Nick load the truck before I could see him smile. Perhaps having them in Vegas for a few days wouldn't be the end of the world after all.


	10. Episode 3x10

**Episode 3x10: Til Death Do Us Part**

"So Angela, Nick here tells me you two have known each other for four years now. How come you never mentioned him to us before now?"

Leave it to my mother to make things more awkward than they had to be at the dinner table. Sadly, I know this is just the beginning. We had only been eating for five minutes. I cleared my throat and lowered my fork back down onto my plate in order to avoid using it as a weapon. "We've only been dating a year and several months."

"Only?" My mother raised her eyebrows as she sipped at her wine. Nick certainly had pulled out all the stops for the dinner: glazed steaks, salads, a bottle of wine, and his mother's pecan pie recipe for desert to go with coffee. "You should have asked her out sooner Nick! What took you so long?"

Nick chuckled and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "As you know, Angela is a very intelligent, dedicated woman so for the first couple of years she was focused solely on the job. But one day I ran into her at our local gym and it was like fate." He smiled at me and I couldn't stop myself from smiling back. "After that I wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Believe me, he certainly would not."

My parents laughed. "Good for you Nick." My father nodded. "Some things are definitely worth pursuing. When do you two plan on marrying?"

"Soon."

"I don't know." I said at the same time. I looked over at Nick. "We are?"

"We had discussed this a few days ago Baby; about how you wanted to get it out of the way before…."

My mother's eyes darted between us. "Before what exactly?"

I edged my hand back to my fork. Nick was staring at me, leaving the ball that he had dropped like a bomb in my court now. I sighed inwardly. I returned my focus back to my parents and managed another smile as I felt Nick slip his hand into mine. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you but Nick and I are going to have a baby."

My mother actually gasped and it looked like for a split second that she was going to faint. My father wasn't saying anything. I contemplated breaking free from the table or even attaching just kidding at the end but found I couldn't as I felt Nick squeeze my hand in support. I wanted to growl at him. _No sex for you until I forget about the whole no sex for you threat and I don't know with my hormones how long that will be but you bet your cute ass I'm going to try to make it a long time!_

I was startled, actually jumping in my seat from surprise, as my mother let out a squeal. "I'm going to be a grandmother again!" She rose from the chair beside mine to hug me. "I knew you were glowing when I saw you! I told you Terrance!" She sat back down to poke him in the shoulder. "I told you she was glowing!"

My father grunted and eyed Nick. "How long have you known about the baby?"

"Dad…."

"Angela is two months pregnant. We've been engaged for almost eight sir." Nick didn't even bat an eye as he gazed back at my father. "I come from a big family with loving parents who have been married a long time. I'm the youngest of seven siblings so I believe in order as much as the next guy but I don't regret anything when it comes to my life with Angela. I love her and I love our baby and I wouldn't change anything about the life I've come to love with your daughter in any way. I hope you can accept that and trust that I'm telling the truth."

I felt tears threatening to erupt and fought hard to suppress my suddenly ragging emotions at hearing those words. I slipped free of his grip to frame his face with my hands and pressed my lips to his quickly. "I love you." I hated turning my gaze away from his but it was necessary. "Well?"

My father glanced between us. "I love you Cookie, you're my daughter. If you're happy then I'm happy."

"I am happy."

"Then I hope for Nick's sake, he's prepared because a pregnant woman is a lot of work." My father stood to his feet to extend his hand to Nick. "Congratulations."

Smiling, Nick rose to shake his hand and the two sat down. "Thank you."

"A baby, how wonderful." My mother was grinning ear to ear. She paused at hearing something. "Is that…" She pointed over her shoulder into the hallway. "Didn't you say you had a dog now?"

"We have two actually, Fuddles and Puddles, but I locked them in the bedroom so they'd be out of the way."

"Nonsense! I want to see them."

I rose from my chair with a nod and started to grab a few plates but Nick beat me to it. "I can…"

"I'll get the dishes Baby and you can show your parents the rest of our place."

"But-" I wanted to argue but one look at him and I forgot all about it. "Okay, but don't wash them. You did most of the cooking and I want to do something."

"Of course."

His small grin alerted me to the fact I wouldn't get to wash any dishes but with how impressed my parents looked at that moment I didn't mind one bit.

I let the dogs out and of course my mother loved them, cooing and giggling as they wiggled their little bodies and barked excitedly at seeing new people. It didn't take long to show them the rest of the house; I barely even let them look into our bedroom before directing them into the backyard. My father still hadn't learned to say no to drugs and he scanned the landscape as he pulled a cigar from his pocket.

"Terrance!" My mother glared at him but ended up looking more adorable then threatening. "Your daughter is pregnant!"

"Our daughter is on the other side of the yard and there's plenty of air between us! Cookie?"

It had been ages since he had called me that nickname but even now it surprisingly hadn't lost its charm. Smiling, I shook my head. "You can smoke if you want. I'm going to go check on Nick real quick. Would you mind watching the dogs?"

My mother giggled as Fuddles bounced around the yard following her. "Of course not, they are adorable Angela. Fuddles and Puddles, you named them didn't you?"

I shut the backdoor with a roll of my eyes. _There is nothing wrong with the names I picked! _ I found Nick loading the dishwasher, bent over as he poured Cascade into it. "If they stay here, we can't have loud sex."

Chuckling, he straightened and snapped the door shut. "I guess we'll just have to be quiet."

I let him pull me into his arms, placing my hands on his shoulders. "There's no need."

"There's not?"

"Nope." I smiled up at him. "Because we won't be having sex for a long time thanks to that stunt you pulled at the dinner table."

Nick chuckled and pressed his lips to my forehead. "We'll see about that. Someone had to say something and by the look on your face during dinner, it was the last thing on your mind." He brushed his hands over my hair. "What's going on in that head of yours? You're not worried are you? Your parents seem to be very happy with things."

I leaned into him. "They're always going to be cautious but they like you and they're happy for us. I just didn't want to spring it on them like that."

"Sometimes you just have to blurt things out. Hey." He stroked my hair again, gazing down at me. "Why don't we get married tomorrow?"

"You, what?"

"Your parents are here, my parents could fly in. Warrick's doing a lot better now and we could… we could get married."

I stared up at him and immediately began grabbing at straws. "I don't have a dress."

"Go with your mother right now and get one."

"It's not that easy Nick!"

"It isn't?" He frowned. "You go in, you try on a few, find one you like and you pay for it."

I scowled at him. "All of our friends might not have time off."

"We won't have the ceremony at night."

"Um…"

Nick chuckled and I lost all focus the second he kissed me. I clung to him and the million excuses I prepared suddenly disappeared. He drew back to press his forehead to mine. "Marry me Angela."

"I…" He kissed me again and this time when he pulled back I sighed in frustration. "Okay."

"I love you. Let's go outside and tell your parents."

101010101010101010

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and still didn't recognize the woman I saw. Hair and makeup finished, I studied the simple wedding dress. My parents had been surprisingly excited about the plans to marry now and Mother had insisted on leaving that second to go shop for a dress. The one we had found two hours later was perfect. Floor length and made from white silk, it possessed a beaded sash and strap top and fit as if made for me alone.

Mother had squealed over it, clasping her hands together and nodding in affirmation to the sales clerk. A swipe of the credit card later, and it was mine. She refused to let me pay and any attempt made to dissuade her otherwise was met with a glare and a change of topic, the usual Mother tricks.

I could hear everyone outside as they gathered in the backyard in wait. It was as if everyone had taken the day off at the station to come and I almost groaned in despair at seeing my parents talking and laughing with Nick's. They all seemed to like each other so I guess that was one less thing I had to worry about now.

"You look absolutely ridiculous." I ignored Nicole as she hovered behind me and smoothed my hands down the front of the dress. "Did you hear me? I said-"

"I don't care."

She snorted. "Sure you do or else I wouldn't be here."

"You're here because a part of me is grasping at straws." I eyed her in the mirror. "But I'm not changing my mind. You're not real, I don't need you, and I want you to leave."

"Angela…" She put a pout on her face. "Cookie, please."

I closed my eyes. "Out!" I hissed. "I don't need you anymore. Get the fuck out!" When I opened my eyes again to gaze into the mirror, she was gone, the room quiet. I listened to the sounds of everyone laughing and talking outside.

They were all so happy. They wanted the best for us and our baby because they genuinely cared, not because it was expected. They liked me. I was a good person to them and because I loved Nick I could continue to be that. I pressed my hand to my stomach. I could be whatever it took to ensure that my baby was protected.

A knock on the door had me turning away from the mirror, hands dropping to my sides. "Yes?"

"Are you naked?"

I rolled my eyes at Dara as she entered. "Yes, please come in and gawk at me."

She chuckled but scanned me with a quick look. "You look beautiful. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

I knew what she was asking. We both knew what was at stake here. It was no longer just my secret to keep; that dark truth about who I had become since Andy died. Each day that passed put more and more weight upon my shoulders but I was doing everything in my power I could to lessen that strain. I had begun to realize that my life wasn't just about revenge or control anymore, it was about Nick and now it was about our family.

"I'm ready."

101010101010101010

I'm a married woman. I'm a happily married woman. No matter how many times I repeated that in my head, it was hard to believe. I found myself staring down at my ring on my left hand and despite the nagging feeling deep down inside I couldn't stop myself from smiling at the sight of it.

"Angie?"

I turned away from the coffee maker. "Yes?"

Nick smiled and reached out to take my hands in his. "I was wondering where you ran off to; our guests are starting to leave."

The wedding and the reception had both been held in the backyard. I had escaped into the kitchen from all the smiling faces and awkward conversations ironically for air. Everyone was being so warm and friendly, nothing malicious at all in their words and yet I couldn't take it. This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life so why did I still feel as if something bad was going to happen?

"I needed a moment to myself Nicky."

"I know it's a bit overwhelming but everyone means well." He kissed me and the dark thoughts disappeared. "I love you Wife."

His words warmed me in places no one else would ever touch. "I love you Husband."

"I can't believe we're married. We're actually married." Nick kissed me again. "Let's go say goodbye to everyone and start celebrating."

I grinned slowly. "But I thought we had been celebrating."

"Oh, we haven't even started baby. I have a surprise for you."

Still smiling, I wrapped my arms around him and leaned into his height. "I hate to break it to you but I already know what it looks like Nicky. Do I have to remind you again exactly how we made our baby?"

"Woman, you are cruel. Don't be so mean to your husband."

My husband. God, I loved how that sounded. "I apologize." I giggled. "What is the surprise?"

"Come outside, I want our parents to tell you."

I let him drag me back outside and suffered through what seemed to be endless congratulations and hugs. I smiled and let each of them hug me though even now I sometimes shied away from the touch of anyone other than Nick. There were times I still felt disconnected from everyone despite the growth I had achieved since meeting Nick. It was so ironic now to me that the one person I ran from the most was the one person I would love until the day I died.

Our parents were smiling widely as they stood side by side. I eyed my mother and spotted the envelope she held in her hands. Somehow I doubted a large sum of unmarked bills were inside.

"Here. This is for you."

I accepted the envelope slowly. "Is it ticking?"

"Angela!" My mother shushed me. "Behave yourself."

Her reaction had those left chuckling and I rolled my eyes playfully before opening the envelope. I stared down at the folded paper a few seconds before I lifted my gaze to them again. "A hotel room?"

My mother giggled. "That's right! We all chipped in and got you two what I was assured is a nice room at the Wynn for two days."

"Two… But…" I looked down again at the printed reservations. "What about the dogs?" I couldn't have been more surprised as Dara cleared her throat. "E tu Brutus?"

She shrugged and I knew she could care less about the glare I was sending her at the moment. "You guys deserve the time away."

My mother winked at Nick before continuing to smile at me. "Your boss is a delightful man and he promised to give you both a week off."

"A week!?"

Nick burst out in delighted laughter and drew me close to his side. "Baby, just say thank you."

"But I…"

"We're extremely grateful." He squeezed my shoulders. "And I for one cannot wait to go check in. Man, this must have been your idea." He grinned widely at Warrick. "I can't tell you guys how many times I've talked about staying in that place."

I stared down at the sheet again. "This is too expensive."

"Baby…"

"This is for the Honeymoon Suite Nick!" I knew I might have been embarrassing him but I couldn't contain my shock. The Wynn was the most expensive hotel in Vegas.

"Which makes sense cause we'll be on our Honeymoon."

"I don't think that-"

The hard kiss in front of everyone sent shockwaves down my spine and I grabbed onto his jacket as I went under the waves of desire flooding my system. I let him control the kiss until someone coughed and another person chuckled. When he let go of me finally I actually wobbled and cleared my throat several times before I regained the equilibrium to speak.

"Thank you." I managed to meet everyone's gaze. "This was very thoughtful."

"Yes, it was and on that note, my wife and I are going to go."

"Nick, we can't just leave while-" I gasped as he smacked me firmly on the ass and I imagine the look on my face was priceless because everyone including Warrick let out hearty laughs. "Nick! I cannot believe you just-"

He kissed me and once again I completely lost my train of thought.


	11. Episode 3x11

**Episode 3x11: Love and Marriage Go Together Like a Coroner and Scalpel**

I spent one blissful week lying in a bed from a hotel room overlooking the city. I didn't think about anything else than Nick and how I felt each time he touched me. No one existed but the two of us. Well, three of us I should say.

Unfortunately Monday rolled around too soon. I sipped at the water in my coffee mug as I watched the dogs playing in the backyard, smiling into the cup as I felt Nick press his lips to the back of my neck.

"Morning Wife."

"Morning Husband." I leaned back into him. "Do we really have to go to work today?"

He chuckled and continued to nuzzle my neck. "Unfortunately." He slipped his hand around to press his palm against my stomach. "You're bigger today."

"Am not."

"Am." He trailed his fingertips in soft circles against my shirt. "It's cute; you drinking water out of a mug like that."

"Shut up. I'm trying to imagine it's coffee."

Nick chuckled and I closed my eyes at the feeling of him sliding his hand up under my shirt to press it fully against the curve of my stomach. "You're starting to show already; I love it." He let out a content sigh. "Can't you wear tighter scrubs to work? Maybe bring up the hem a little, that'd be nice."

"Nicky." I rolled my eyes and lowered my mug into the sink. "They don't make scrubs for Britney Spears; a scrub tank top would hardly be beneficial to me."

"It'd be beneficial as hell to me."

I turned and lifted my chin in order to kiss him. "I can name a couple of other guys that might say the same thing."

He actually growled and it made me giggle. "Better not. I will be forced to put you on early bed rest."

"Somehow I doubt I'd truly get any rest."

"I love you so much Angela." He pressed his forehead to mine. "We're going to have a family, our perfect little family."

Was it truly perfect? Was life ever perfect? I was starting to realize this was as good as it was going to get for me so yes, maybe life was perfect after all.

"I've been thinking about names."

_Names? Oh right, we are expected to name the thing. Baby Angela, name the baby. _"You have?"

"Well, if it's a boy I was thinking maybe we'd name it after my father or maybe me?" Nick gazed down at me. "What do you think?"

I toyed with the buttons of the shirt. "What about Gaston or Wentworth? I kind of like that."

"Gaston? Seriously?"

"No." I burst out laughing. "And what about girl names?"

He chuckled and brought up his hands to stroke my hair, an action that strangely was enough to tempt me to call in sick. "I was thinking that I like the name Andrea."

"Andrea?"

Nick smiled as he took in my wide eyes. "In memory of your brother." He continued to stroke my hair. "We could go with Andrew if it's a boy."

"You'd really do that?"

"Of course I would baby; even if I never knew what a great man he was, if your brother meant that much to you, he means something to me."

I wasn't even able to respond before I was crying. Embarrassed I buried my face into his chest and he held me close, whispering softly in an attempt to calm me down. Several minutes had to pass before I could pull away. I grabbed Nick's face in my hands and captured his lips with mine. "I love you." I kissed him until I couldn't breathe. "I love you so much."

"I know baby, I love you too."

"That just…." I couldn't stop myself from kissing him again. "I love you so much it hurts."

"I don't want it to hurt."

"The pain isn't bad. The pain reminds me I'm alive and for once in my life, I'm grateful for it." I cleared my throat and released him before I completely lost my marbles and spilled more than I could ever jokingly take back. "We should go before we're late. We can talk more about baby names tonight when you fix me a bubble bath."

"Me?" Nick scoffed as he snatched the truck keys off the counter. "I'm pretty sure it's my turn for a bubble bath."

I scoffed back at him and giggled as he smacked me lightly on the ass just as I passed him.

1111111111111111

I was elbow deep in guts when the morgue door flew open. I stopped only momentarily to see Dara before concentrating again on my supposed heart attack victim. "Something smells."

"Excuse me?"

"Something smells in here. Don't you smell it?"

"Maybe it's bleach." Dara stopped a few feet away. "Or maybe it's the body. Oh, okay." She pressed her hand to her mouth. "How in the world are you doing that pregnant?"

I stopped, wiggled my nose, and gazed down at the body. "Maybe it is the body." I shrugged before continuing to work.

"Angela?"

I stopped again and let out a sigh. "What?"

"That guy in the folder I gave you a few weeks back. There's word on the street he's skipping town tomorrow. If we're going to get him…."

"I haven't looked at the folder yet Dara."

"Why not?"

"I sorta got married?" I tried working but her hovering was suddenly a negative aspect in the room. "I just haven't had time. What is he, some hard core drug dealer or something?"

"No, he's murdered two of his three wives and put the last one in the hospital." She took a step forward but at the sharp look I shot her went immediately back to her place. "Angela, this is important or I wouldn't have given you the folder in the first place!"

I blamed it on my hormones when I suddenly slammed my scalpel down on the table. "No, you gave me the folder because you wanted to see what I'd do with it. You wanted to see exactly how I operated and most of all you want to see me clean up your fucking mess."

"My fucking mess?"

"Did I stutter?" I retorted quickly. "How long has that folder been on your desk?"

"What does that matter? There are a lot of-"

"Let me guess, a few weeks before you noticed it?"

Her eyes flared at me. "Don't fucking talk to me like that."

"Newsflash, I'll talk to you however I want." I sneered. "You know what, get the fuck out of my morgue Waters. I don't have time to deal with your delusions right now."

She actually took a few steps forward and it was a move that amused me. "Delusions? I don't know what your problem is but I'm not leaving until we sort this out. I thought you wanted my help! Now you're blowing off a good case?"

"I don't just pick up a knife and go out for a night on the town Dara! There's more to this than wishful thinking and luck."

"Then show me. This is a solid case that needs solving, and trust me when I tell you that no amount of police work is going to help. I did the research like you asked, I found a candidate and now it's time you held up your end of the bargain!"

"You're lucky I've even let you get this far in the first place. Don't even fucking start to tell me what my end of anything is!"

"Well, I could say the same to you Angela."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Meaning?"

"Look…." She exhaled. "Look at the file, see what I'm talking about and think it over is all I'm asking. I found a place for you to work; it's quiet and secluded. I can show it to you tomorrow and you'll see I'm right. When you've taken a look at everything, you'll know it."

The only thing I knew for certain at that moment was that Dara was still hanging on by a thread, the memories of Edward still floating close to the surface. She had lost so much that even with as much as she had gained she was still haunted. One could relate.

"Fine." I grabbed my cutting tools again and tried to focus back on my autopsy. "We can meet up tomorrow night; that is if you can get away."

"I can. Don't worry about that."

"You let me figure out what I need to worry about Dara and what I don't. Despite anything that's happened, the only person that has your back is yourself and it's best to remember that." I readjusted the protective goggles back over my eyes. "Call me at eleven o'clock; if you're even a second late this conversation never happened."

1111111111111111

The abandoned building located near the low end of town wasn't a bad spot. It was a ten story building that had been previously used for textile refinery and metal shaping for car companies in the area that went bankrupt a few years back. While the city had blossomed due to investments in casinos and tourist attractions, the building and surrounding area were still for lease and slowly deteriorating into waste.

Another plus to the location was due to the previous leaser there was a furnace and clean up area in the basement for unwanted materials and hazardous materials. Dara certainly had done her homework.

That wasn't to say she wasn't sloppy however. I hadn't been exactly honest with her our last conversation. I had seen the file and it was a good pick. Marcus Baxter was a man who enjoyed belittling and beating his girlfriends. He liked turning them into wives and then shortly after he enjoyed making them disappear. His latest wife Rebecca was only nineteen and had managed to crawl to the road where she was picked up by a passing trucker after Marcus had beaten her black and blue. She was now under police protection in the hospital with broken ribs, fingers, a black eye and a busted lip.

I couldn't argue with Dara that something had to be done but I could argue against her tenacity to do something about it. Being overeager often lead to being sloppy and that lead to being caught. I hadn't gotten this far by letting my heart control me and not my head. As much as I had changed the past few years, I still wasn't ready to let go completely of all the things I had taught myself. If I was going to truly change for my family, I was going to have to remain sharp and make sound decisions. That was something I guess I was going to have to teach Dara to remember.

A noise interrupted my thoughts and I lowered my hand from my blade only when I recognized Dara stepping through the doorway. She shut the steel door solidly behind her and for a second I took in the sight of her from the glow off her flashlight. Long nights and troubled thoughts seemed to be keeping her up at night. The roundness of her stomach had mine churning.

I cleared my throat right as she lifted up her cell phone to her mouth. "You're late."

Dara let out a sharp gasp of surprise and only managed to hold onto her phone. The flashlight hit the concrete and rolled towards me. I stepped forward quickly to retrieve it. Dara blinked rapidly as I directed the light to her face.

She lifted a hand to shield her eyes. "It's just now eleven. How did you know where to come?"

"You do your research, I do mine." I lowered the flashlight. "I've been following you a bit before the wedding. The location isn't bad, I'll give you that, but you come here too often at random times." I clicked off the flashlight. "And using a flashlight is a bad idea. It draws attention and we don't need that."

"I'm not a cat."

"Study the place, learn the layout and you won't need a flashlight." I moved to where I was a mere foot away from her and handed back the flashlight. "Dark clothes, a kit for tools, and trash bags; nothing else, nothing more, got me?" I took a step back when she nodded. "Good. Follow me."

"Follow? But we-"

I turned away and was annoyed when she didn't hesitate to do as I instructed. She followed me down the stairs into the basement, shutting the door behind us as we went. I didn't have to look at her to know she was shocked by what she saw the second I flipped on the light switch to illuminate the room in a dull glow.

An incapacitated Marcus Baxter lay strapped down by his hands and his ankles on the middle slab in the room. I had stripped him down to his boxers. The furnace was already roaring, the heat seeping through the room and as I watched, Dara slowly approached the groggy man.

"How long has he been here?"

"Is that important?"

She brought her eyes to mine. "How long?"

"How long has it been since you gave me the folder? Almost two weeks?" I cocked my head and studied her. "Is something wrong?"

Dara directed her attention back to Marcus and took a step back. "No." She cleared her throat. "I'm ready. Let's do this."

"Would you like the honors?"

"I thought…. I thought you said…."

A wave of something crashed into me and I sighed loudly before stepping forward and snatching up one of the carving knives I had placed next to the slab. "It's not that hard Dara. You said it yourself, it's just a case." I chuckled. "Marcus here doesn't care about the pain he inflicts on others, why should you even hesitate when it comes to this?" I watched her as I trailed the tip of the knife across his chest. "It's very simple really. You shouldn't."

"He's still a human being. Maybe you were right; we could turn him in."

"And say what? We found him drugged up and tied just waiting for us to find him?" I chuckled and tapped the blade against his cheek. I was amused when he groaned and tried to turn his head. "Good idea Dara, and after no one presses charges and Rebecca takes him back all because he said he's sorry, he can back on the streets. That's just perfect."

Dara took another step back. "Fine. So we can't turn him in, now what?"

"Oh I think you know, just like this fucker here knows." I leaned over him and slapped him a couple times with my open palm. "Don't you Marcus?" He mumbled something, words slurring, and I chuckled. "We had a long talk before I dosed him up Dara and do you know what he told me?" I glanced at her slyly. "He told me he was only doing what he had to and I said, wow Marcus really? Me too."

Marcus mumbled again and Dara wrapped her arms around herself. "This doesn't feel right. Taunting him, it's just… This isn't right."

"Really? Cause it feels right to me Dara." I circled the table and grabbed the edges on either side of his head. "He needs to die and we both know it. You were certain of it not even twenty minutes ago but now that you're seeing it, you're hesitating. That's disappointing."

"He's… He's guilty and he should die." She nodded slowly. "But I look at this and I just see me on that table. I see…"

"You see me as Edward?" I smiled. "That's because I am Dara. Edward and I are kindred souls, you know this. He was a cold blooded killer and so am I."

She shook her head so quickly I thought it would pop off. "You're different."

"I'm not and the sooner you realize this, the better off you'll be. You're not cut out for this and you know it."

"No, I can do this."

"You're telling me different." I straightened and readjusted my hold on the knife. "It doesn't matter what your final decision is because it's still going to happen. He's going to die in here when I say so."

"Angela, please."

"You wanted this to happen and now so do I." I trailed the blade tip across his chest again and a thing trail of blood appeared. "I've missed this. Killing McKeen was a disappointment; I didn't get to have the fun I wanted but with Marcus here…." I smiled as if lost in my own little world. "Well, thanks to your hard work Dara, I can do whatever I want for as long as I want." I lifted my gaze to hers. "Shall I start?"

She stared down at Marcus and visibly swallowed. "What are you going to do? Are you going… going to torture him?"

My answer was immediate. "Yes."

Her eyes shot back to mine. "Angela, no."

"I enjoy it." I snapped. "I told you how this was going to play out Dara! I told you!" I brought the knife down and Marcus cried out through his drugged gaze as the cut went deeper than the last, more blood escaping his wounds. "So he does feel pain. I wondered." I pondered out loud. "Marcus here has been a bad boy, haven't you?"

"Angela."

I cut him again and actually laughed when a piece of skin came away with the blade. "Oh shit!" I giggled. "I am so sorry Marcus." I watched him cursing as he came fully aware from the pain and cut him again several times. "Or am I? How can I be when I know what you did to Joanie and Michelle? They loved you and you just beat them until they were nothing. That makes you nothing. I can't feel sorry about nothing."

"Angela, stop!"

I couldn't stop myself from reacting the second she grabbed my wrist. I grabbed the back of her head with my free hand and the move knocked her off balance, her grip loosening to the point I could remove the hand holding the knife. I stuck it close under her chin, our eyes meeting as we stood inches from each other.

"I should gut you like a fucking fish." I sneered. "Never fucking do that again, do you understand me Dara?" I released her and didn't care when she stumbled. "Good, now say goodbye to Marcus."

"Angela-"

I slit his throat and watched the arterial spray come inches from splattering my clothes. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him, watching as he choked and struggled for life as it seeped quickly from the gaping hole I had made in his throat.

"Oh God." Dara's panic-filled voice brought me back to Earth. "Oh my God."

I shifted just in time to see her throw up in a trashcan by the door. It was a good thing I lined it with a bag earlier, wasn't it? I turned back to stare down at Marcus Baxter's now dead body. "Take the bag with you Detective."

"But his… his body…"

"Get out of here. This isn't your problem anymore."

"I want to help you."

"Well, you can't." I turned on her again with the bloody knife. "Now get the fuck out of here." I smiled thinly at her. "Unless you'd actually like to watch me cut him into several pieces? We could do it together, that'd be fun. Have you ever cut through bone before?" I watched her face turn white a second before she threw up again into the trashcan. "Guess not."

1111111111111111

Dara is avoiding me. I know she's in the building and yet mysteriously she's gone every time I'm around. Were we not friends anymore? I chuckled to myself as I walked down the hallway, bottle of water in hand. Poor thing, I just might have pushed too hard. But I had to make how things were perfectly clear; she wasn't cut out for the life I was trying to leave behind, I wasn't sure I was cut out for it.

I didn't like who I turned into in the heat of the moment; I didn't like that at times I couldn't remember who I was and deep down it scared me that I wasn't sure I could say no when it mattered. One of these days I was going to snap and then I really would be like Edward.

Edward; I found myself thinking more about him lately. Had circumstances been different…. No, I couldn't think of that. I couldn't think of how a large part of me had been drawn to him. That part of my life was over and I was never going back to that again, never. Last night had been a mistake and it was one I was never going to repeat again.

I made my way into the morgue and knew to expect a huge file of paperwork to complete by morning shift. I wasn't disappointed but I was surprised to find a box on my desk as well. Perhaps Michael had ordered some extra equipment.

Lowering the water bottle onto the desk, I peered down at the box. It was post marked for delivery today but based on postage and the stamp someone had paid for it almost three months ago.

I opened the box and wanted to throw it across the room the very second I saw the card nestled inside. _To know the truth is to truly know one's self. All my love, Edward._ I tossed the card onto the desk and lifted the taped package from the inside. It was risky to do this at work but the desire to know overcame my need to be careful.

Inside were papers I had never seen. There were copies of police reports, pictures of crime scenes, and a birth certificate that had me debating for a minute whether or not I was going to throw up. I stared down at the picture of the dark haired man and woman: Travis and Julianne Philips. Both guests of the state on various occasions, they had married young shortly after Travis's release for a failed robbery. It wasn't long before Julianne had become pregnant and given birth to a little girl they had named Destiny.

Destiny Philips. That had been my name before Delia and Terrance had adopted me. I flipped through the pages for more information to fill in the blanks.

It wasn't long before Travis and Julianne transformed themselves into a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. They went state to state executing robberies and murders. My stomach twisted itself into knots and the bagel I had eaten for breakfast that morning threatened to reappear. It was reported they brought along their daughter to their heists, even going as far as to kill people in front of her. Me… I blinked rapidly. They killed in front of me.

They successfully committed over twenty small robberies and killed countless people before being captured. When asked why they had involved their child in such heinous acts, they claimed it was only right. They were passing on their legacy to their child; that was what parents did, they taught and shared with their child the things that brought meaning and joy into their own lives. It was only right.

Had my biological parents truly created me in their own image? Was I a product of a twisted combination of nature and nurture from two individuals who lusted for violence and destruction?

I flipped to the final page and stared down typed words. Julianne and Travis Philips were both sentenced to federal state prisons during speedy trials, each serving full life sentences with seemingly no chance of parole. Not long after Julianne Philips died during a prison riot which she instigated. She was only twenty-nine years old.

The very last bit of information had my blood boiling. Travis Philips was still alive and serving his time in Arizona. The man that had ruined my life from the very beginning was still alive. There was a small chance his appeal was going to be approved and that he was going to see the light of day. Travis Philips could possibly see the light of day. Perhaps I would be there to greet him.

I shoved the papers back into the package and slammed it into the box. My eyes caught sight of the card Edward had written. There was no doubt in my mind he had sent this in some twisted attempt to win me over. He had truly been a sick bastard but all I could think of at the moment was how grateful I was to him.


	12. Episode 3x12

**Episode 3x12: Back Where I Come From**

I thought about the contents of the box all night. It was like I couldn't stop myself and the distraction was enough to irritate me to the point I left work early. Grissom reassured me as did Caine that it was completely fine; I chalked it up to them accepting it as one of those pregnancy excuses and I let them.

Nick was on a case with Greg so I left a message on his voicemail. I didn't want him to worry but I knew I couldn't stop that even if I tried. His concern for me had always been great but with the baby now, he was always close to me. He had gotten better at not treating me like a total invalid but there were times when he fawned over every little thing. He was lucky I loved that about him.

As usual, the second I entered Puddles and Fuddles rushed me as if they hadn't seen me in weeks. I enjoyed their attention for several minutes until suddenly my thoughts returned to the box. I sat it down on the kitchen table as my stomach rumbled, the dogs busy playing together happily. I pressed a hand to my stomach and stroked it softly, unaware I was talking to the baby until my voice echoed back to me.

I turned just in time to throw up into the kitchen sink. I had killed in front of my child. I was a killer and I was drawing my child into that life. I was no better than my biological parents. Just like them I was a monster and now there was no denying it.

"There, there love." I flinched at the hand that stroked my hair. "Everything will be okay." Nicole's voice was soft in my ear. "You'll see."

"No." I rinsed my mouth out with water. "Please go away." When I heard nothing, I lifted my head to see I was alone in the kitchen. Had I imagined that? Had I wanted to imagine that? It was just me now; I had locked anything away deep inside because of fear; fear of losing who I thought I was because of how much my life had changed. But was that truly me?

It wasn't too late to stop; it wasn't. I had only to keep repeating it. I pressed a hand to my stomach again as I leaned over the sink, bowing my head. I was close to my second trimester now. It wasn't going to be long before I could actually touch the baby I had created with Nick. The child would gaze up at me but what would he or she see?

A hand touched my back and I jolted, pushing up to shove at them. "I said no!"

"Angela, baby, it's me." Nick stood there with surprised eyes, his hands up. "It's okay, it's me."

My legs threatened to buckle, my head was suddenly swimming, and I didn't object as Nick moved quickly to sweep me up into his arms. He carried me into the bedroom and lowered me onto our mattress, moving back only to kick off his shoes before he joined me. I snuggled into him with closed eyes and got lost in his soft touch combined with the silence of the room.

"Do you need to talk?"

I kept my eyes closed. "You're home early; I thought you were on a case."

"I was until Hodges paged me that you had gone home sick."

Damn it Hodges; memo to self, a smack to the back of the head is in order. "I felt sick but I'm fine now." I opened my eyes to grab his closest hand and press it to my stomach. "We're fine."

"I think we should talk."

"About what?" I tried to play off what I knew he meant. "More baby names?"

His dark eyes peered down at me knowingly. "Angela, what am I missing here?"

Where should I start? I stared back and contemplated so many options before I opened my mouth. "I found my biological parents."

"What? How?"

"Nicky… What's important is that I found them. They're…. Well, they weren't model citizens I can say that much." I rubbed at my forehead. "There are papers in a box on the kitchen table. I just… I don't know if I can talk about this."

"I know it's hard but we should talk. You can tell me anything, you know that."

I knew I couldn't but I was too tired to argue. He would never understand but this, this I could share. I wasn't altogether sure I could deal with it on my own anyway. I cleared my throat. "Could you go get the box?"

He slipped off the bed without a word and I sat up as he disappeared into the hallway. Why had I said anything? It was going to lead to an argument or God forbid more tears and I wasn't willing to go through that right now. For every piece of the puzzle I thought I solved in my life, I discovered more pieces were coming up missing.

When he returned, he had the package and the dogs rushed in behind him. They barked until he scooped them up so they could join me on the bed and I watched him opening the package as they crowded around me. I kept my eyes on his face as he read the information, slowly flipping through the sheets until he came to the last one.

I watched him slid the papers back into the package and I couldn't have been more surprised when he tossed them onto the floor. My words were cut off as he drew me to him and kissed me softly. "Nicky?"

"I love you Angela." He nuzzled the side of my face with his lips. "I'm sorry that your biological parents weren't what you were hoping they would be but you're nothing like them. You're a good woman, you're going to be a great mother, and there's no reason at all to doubt those things."

"He's still alive." I whispered.

"He shouldn't be."

The anger in his words had me reaching up to stroke the side of his face. "Nicky…"

"I'm not sorry; he shouldn't be, but he's in jail where he belongs. God, I'm sorry baby."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

He pressed his lips against my palm and exhaled slowly. "What do you want to do with the papers?"

I debated with myself for several seconds before I opened my mouth again. "I want to see him."

"What?" Nick leaned back. "You can't be serious!"

"I am. I want to see this man; I want to look him in the face and show him that I'm not like him." I dropped my eyes down because I was afraid to see the disgust in my husband's eyes. "I want him to see he didn't make me who I am; I have to believe that."

Nick slipped a hand under my chin to tilt my head up, our eyes meeting. "Angela Stokes, you're nothing like them. You were born a Wilkins, you were raised a Wilkins, and now you're life is with me as my wife. You don't have to prove anything."

"I have to do this Nicky. I know you don't understand but I have to face him, it's just something I have to do or else I can't let this go."

His eyes studied mine for several seconds. "When I was kidnapped and put in that box…." He cleared his throat. "After I was rescued and I had recovered in the hospital, I went to see the daughter of the man who had kidnapped me. I told her she wasn't anything like him and she didn't believe me. I couldn't reach her. I didn't have to try but I did."

"I do believe you Nicky."

"I didn't have to see her but I still did so I understand the need to face your demons and try to move on, I really do." His fingers gently stroked my cheek and I leaned into the touch. "If you feel this strongly about it, I'll support it. I'm not saying I agree but I'm not going to object either because in the long run I do understand the reasoning behind it."

I let out the air I had been holding in and cursed as I felt my eyes moisten. "I love you so much."

"I know baby. The final decision is up to you; I'll stand by whatever you decide."

"Will…. Will you go with me?"

I wasn't sure why I asked but the look that passed on his face had me suddenly glad that I did. He swooped in to kiss me again, a soft smile lingering on his lips as he pulled away. "Of course baby." He kissed me again before leaning down to press his lips against the curve of my stomach. "I love you."

"Andrea."

Nick's eyebrows rose as he glanced up at me. "What?"

"Andrea." I repeated. I reached out to stroke my fingers through his short hair. "I think if it's a girl we should name her Andrea."

"And if it's a boy?"

I smiled at the hopeful look in his eyes. "I don't see any reason why we couldn't name him after his father."

With a wide answering smile, Nick captured my lips with his again. I let him wash away all the bad memories from that day, clinging to him happily as I finally drowned in something that wasn't sorrow.

1212121212121212

To say there was an awkward tension lingering in the air that actually made me want to scream my head off was putting it lightly. I stared at Dara and waited for the tongue lashing I knew was coming. Instead all I saw was a sympathetic gaze that did nothing for my urge to scream.

"Say something."

"What is it you want me to say?" She played absentmindedly with the sugar packet on the table between us. "The last time we talked… Well, let's just say it's not a conversation I want to repeat anytime soon."

"Last time was…." I inhaled deeply through my nose. "I wasn't myself."

"You weren't? That wasn't really you I saw that night?"

I shouldn't have been offended by the obvious meaning in the question but I was. How could I blame her for being defensive around me now after what she had seen me do? After what she had seen me turn into right in front of her eyes? I had tried to warn her; the very last thing I wanted was for anyone to see me like that.

But now one person had and not only once but twice. Dara held so much power over me now and I knew that she realized it. So far she had kept her word to me; I was still a free woman. I could almost hear a clock in my head ticking down to my final moment of freedom. How much longer did I truly have? Please God let it be at least six more months.

I exhaled the breath I had been again holding in, so captivated by dark thoughts. This wasn't the time to think about that but how could I not? I was going to see my biological father in two weeks and the more time passed I was beginning to see how similar we truly were. I had no recollection of the man he was or my life before being a Wilkins but there were tiny parts of me I saw in Travis Philips that made me know without a doubt we were related.

Was my affection for inflicting pain on others because of him? Because of what he and my mother showed me? Was it truly my legacy to bring pain and destruction down upon those around me?

"You're not like him."

I blinked to clear the fog in my head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do." Dara tossed down the sugar packet. "You're sitting here thinking that you're like your father but you're not."

"How do you know about my father?"

"Nick told me."

At least she had answered honestly but now my thoughts were focused on Nick and how easily he had told something personal about me to someone else. Even though the person was Dara I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit betrayed.

"He needed someone to talk to and I was there."

"I bet."

Dara's eyes narrowed at me. "Granted, we're not as close as say you and Warrick but I'd like to think we're pretty good friends Angela. I've admitted a lot of things to Nick in confidence that he's kept quiet and I trust him; I was honored to know he trusted me in the same way."

"He didn't have the right to tell you about them."

"Nick's worried about you. He told me you're planning on going to see that man and he's worried what that's going to do to you. Are you really that offended that he told me? Would you rather he had told Grissom or Warrick even?"

Those were the last two people I wanted Nick to admit anything about me to. I shook my head. "I'm just surprised is all; I thought Nick and I had discussed and settled this already."

"He might have agreed that you were the only one able to make the choice in this matter and he might have agreed to go with you in support but that doesn't mean he's going to stop worrying about you. He's your husband and he loves you Angela."

"Sometimes I don't see why." I picked up the packet of sugar she had discarded. "Sometimes I think if he knew who I truly was he would be mortified that he even looked at me twice."

"Nick might not see things the way we do Angela but he loves the person he's gotten to know; the one inside you try to hide all the time. The… the person I saw the other night wasn't the real you; it's who you've become in order to try to keep memories of your brother's death locked away."

Knowing she was right had me refraining from snapping at her. I surprised us both by nodding. "You're right. Since the day he was murdered I tried to forget him but I've realized my memories of Andy are what have kept me alive for this long. Dylan may have taken him from me but he could never take away how much I loved him. I have to keep focused on that."

"I'm sorry for ever asking you to look at that file."

"I'm sorry for not being able to keep you untouched from all of this."

Our apologies had us both relaxing for the first time since sitting down together. There were areas in our lives that would never be resolved, some subjects always too touchy to tread on when it came to the two of us, but I was beginning to see exactly how much I truly cared for Dara as a friend. She was the only person besides Nick and Greg that I considered a friend.

After killing Marcus Baxter and pushing Dara almost to tears I wasn't sure I could consider her that anymore, but now I saw I had nothing to worry about. Dara wasn't going to tell anyone my secret and she wasn't going to hold my moments of weakness against me. I'm not sure why but she just wasn't.

"I don't think I can do it anymore."

I watched her eyes as they went wide at hearing my admittance. "You're serious."

"I am."

"Is it because of the baby?"

"That's part of it." I nodded. "There's Nick to think about, there's my parents, there's this life I built that started out so fake and now is one thing I cling to in order to stay sane. Every time I take a chance with doing what I used to believe was my reason for living I risk losing all of that. In the past it was a risk I was willing to take but I can't do it anymore. I won't jeopardize my family."

"Perhaps it's time to leave it all behind then Angela. This is a new start for you; you can make a life here and be happy if you'll only let yourself."

I studied her face before shifting my attention to her stomach. "I could say the same to you. Your baby will be here in less than three months. Perhaps it's time you left a lot of your baggage behind as well."

"Believe me, I'm trying. Since finding out about Edward and almost dying I've been trying. If I had lost Rick, I know I wouldn't have made it. He's… he's everything to me now; him and this baby. Despite anything that has happened between us…."

"You love him."

Dara nodded. "I love him."

"Then why won't you marry him?"

"Who told you I-" She paused. "Nick right?"

I shrugged with a small smile on my lips. "The man does love to talk. You should hear him when I get him in the bath with a few bubbles and a few lit candles; he's like putty in my hands."

We both chuckled at that and I was suddenly curious if our relationship was always going to be like this. It was possibly just the type of friendship I needed in my life.

"I love him and I want to marry him but a part of me thinks he's just asking because Nick asked you."

"He's asking because he wants you to be his wife."

"I just don't want him to feel like he's obligated."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "We both know Warrick doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do. If he's asking you, it's because that's what he wants not because he feels he has to or because he wants to be like Nick."

"That's not a negative thing." Dara smiled. "Nick is a good man."

"Nick is the best man I've ever met."

"When did you know you loved him?"

When did our conversation turn so personal? I wasn't open by any means on my feelings or about my love life but talking suddenly was helping me. I found myself wanting to gush about Nick and our life together to anyone who would listen. God help me this baby was making a mess of my hormones.

"I think I've always known; that's why I tried to avoid him for so long. Now when I look back I can see how much of an idiot I was for not giving us the chance sooner."

"It happened when it was supposed to Angela."

"Fate and all that bullshit right?"

"Something like that." Dara chuckled. "Fate and all the bullshit that comes along with it."

1212121212121212

"Place any belongings that you may have into the baskets on the scanner. Step forward through the detector please."

I followed the instructions given to me by the correctional officer and Nick followed suit. My skin was crawling from merely being inside the Tucson, Arizona penitentiary. The desolate nature of the place was a good reminder as to why it was important to be careful.

The second I passed through the detector an officer stepped forward to wave a wand up and down on both sides. _Really? If they claim they have to do a full cavity search I'm out of here._

I waited two full weeks before finally deciding to face the man who had a hand in creating me. Nick booked a hotel room for us while I packed our bags and before I could change my mind we were passing the Welcome to Arizona road sign.

The United States Penitentiary of Arizona wasn't hard to find from where it loomed seemingly above the city of Tucson. The very second I laid eyes on it I wanted to turn back and as if sensing my panic Nick grabbed my hand to reassure me with a firm grip. I wasn't scared, I wasn't going to admit that to myself, but I was nervous. To think I grew up my whole life thinking I belonged to a family that was never truly mine. Delia and Terrance Wilkins hadn't brought me into this world. They had merely saved me.

"Ma'am, if you'll go this way." The officer motioned towards the visitor door. "Your husband will have to remain out in the lobby."

I glanced at Nick. "You're going to be fine baby." He squeezed my hand. "I'll be right here if you need me."

He had no way of knowing I was more worried about him. I shouldn't have involved him in this. I couldn't chance coming out of that room someone else and him seeing past the façade. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt him. "Okay." I squeezed back before I released his hand. "I'm ready."

The officer nodded and opened the door. "He'll be on the other side of the glass, there's a phone for you to talk to him. If you need me at any time just end the conversation and stand up. Understand?"

"Yes. I understand." I cleared my throat. I entered and noticed several other people were talking between the two way glass; I imagined their reunions were happier than mine was going to be. "Where is he?"

"Third one down."

I nodded again almost feeling like a zombie and proceeded past the line of chairs. I passed a crying woman, a lawyer and a brother talking to his twin before I reached the empty chair that was mine. I stood there staring at my biological father from where he was already sitting down across from me. He was easily recognizable from the photos; having aged but maintained a rugged look shadowed by gray hairs. I was hit immediately by the similarities we shared. Often growing up I wondered whose chin and eyes I had and I guess now I knew.

Travis Philips stared back with hard eyes, taking in the sight of my face before momentarily drifting his gaze to my stomach. The simple look made me want to burst through the glass and strangle him with my bare hands. Finally he shifted to lift up the phone and I had no choice but to sit and do the same. I pressed the phone to my ear and cleared my throat wondering exactly how to start out the conversation with something other than a threat.

"You look like your mother."

My grip tightened on the phone. "I wouldn't know. I wasn't aware she existed until three weeks ago."

He smirked and leaned into the glass. "I knew you'd come; I've been counting down the days. How's your mother?"

"Delia, my mother, is fine." I spoke through clenched teeth. "If you're referring to Julianne she's been dead for several years now."

Travis actually grunted but no real emotion flickered on his face. "They don't tell us anything in here. Pity, I was hoping she'd be there when I got out."

"You're not getting out."

"Is that what they told you?" He chuckled. "We'll see about that; I got a good lawyer who seems confident I'm gonna be breathing fresh air a lot sooner than anyone thinks." He leaned into the glass again. "What is it you do?"

"That's none of your business."

"I thought you wanted to talk; we're talking. I can't learn anything about you if you don't tell me."

"I came here to tell you that you're not my father." I spoke calmly even though my insides were on fire from rage. "You're not a part of me and you'll never be a part of my life."

Travis kept that irritating smug smile on his face as he stared at me. "I might not have been around for long but I'm still your father Destiny. Your mother and I loved you."

"You don't know a thing about love and my name is Angela."

"Your name is Destiny and you'll always be a Philips."

I ignored the urge to argue with him because it was a battle I knew I couldn't win. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what Girl?"

"Why did you do those things especially in front of me?"

"Surely you read all about it in those papers of yours. I thought your friend would have explained it to you quite clearly."

"My… friend?"

"How else do you think I knew you'd be coming Destiny? Nice fellow that one. Edward was it?"

My grip tightened so much on the phone that it hurt. I didn't relieve the pressure. "He came here? He came here to see you?"

Travis nodded. "That he did. We had a nice long talk." His eyes drifted downwards. "That his?"

"You shut your fucking mouth." I snarled. "You don't talk about my baby, ever."

"He told me he was trying to help you realize who you really are but I think deep down you've always known it haven't you Destiny? Those people could never be to you what your mother and I were. We showed you life, we showed you real love."

"You showed me murder and all that's wrong with the world." I hissed. "You're despicable." He actually laughed again and it sent a shiver down my spine at how cold the sound was. Was that what I sounded like when I lost myself in my blood lust? "This conversation is over."

"Oh, it's far from over Destiny. I'm going to be a big part of your life when I get out."

My eyes flashed and I leaned into the glass this time. "Come near me or my family and I'll make you regret it."

Travis's smile widened as he stared at me. "See, I knew it. You got the itch don't you Girl? Deep inside, I can tell. Your mother and I recognized it from the day you were born. You're just like us, you were meant to change things."

"You're crazy and this conversation is over."

"My hearing is coming up soon." He leaned back with a comfortable smile on his face. "I'll be seeing you."

"Good." I snarled as I stood up. "I'll be waiting."


	13. Episode 3x13

**Episode 3x13: We're All Beauty Queens On The Inside**

Those words continued to echo in my ears for days until they faded and it had suddenly been months since I had seen his face. I pushed everything to the back of my mind and concentrated on the two things that mattered, work and my family. My stomach continued to grow bigger as the days passed and despite the initial discomfort, I was actually beginning to enjoy it.

Nick was in love my current state. He talked to the baby daily and much to my amusement he wanted to read bedtime stories to my round stomach every night. I had to scold him at work to stop touching me. Everyone teased him but it was nothing new, Warrick and Dara were experiencing the same thing. Currently she was ending her seventh month and was close to taking off for medical leave. Just like me it wasn't exactly the first choice she would have made but the safety of the baby came first now.

"Angela?"

I looked up from my computer to see Director Caine in the doorway of the morgue. "Yes?"

"There's some mail for you." She came forward to drop the envelope on my desk. "It's from the U.S. Penitentiary of Arizona. Does this pertain to a case?"

"No, it doesn't. It's a personal matter."

She studied me for a few seconds before she nodded. "Very well. How are things?"

"I'm doing well, thank you." _Have our conversations always been this awkward_? "If this is about me requesting off for my doctor's appointment, I can reschedule."

"Nonsense, do you take me for a monster?"

_One of us in this room hasn't always been an angel._ "I know it was short notice but I've been busy and-"

"Your request is granted; there are no problems from my end on it." She smiled softly. "Will you find out the sex today?"

I nodded and cursed as I realized I had been stroking my stomach as we talked. "Nick's…. We're very excited."

"As any parent should be." She reached out to pat my shoulder. "I'll let you get back to work."

"About my maternity leave…."

Caine paused halfway back to the door. "You have to take one so please don't ask me to overlook you working."

"I want to work as long as I can. I don't want special treatment just because I'm a whale."

"I'm required by law to follow certain guidelines."

I gritted my teeth together. "Um, please?"

"Angela, we both know that…."

"With sugar on top?"

She chuckled. "I can give you some paperwork and an office but after the eighth month I want you to take maternity leave, is that understood?"

I didn't want to nod but I did. "I understand. Thank you."

"Good. And don't think I didn't notice that you clocked in early today; I want you out of here by the time I come back from lunch."

"Okay." I managed a warm smile. "Sure thing Boss."

"I mean it Angela, no more late nights."

I nodded again and exhaled as the morgue doors finally shut behind her. My attention was captured by the envelope she had delivered and I debated with myself for several seconds before I shoved it into my duffle bag. Whatever it said would wait until I was in the privacy of my home. There was no telling when I'd actually get to it however seeing as how Nick would already be there.

Knowing him he would be waiting bright-eyed and bushy-tailed despite a busy shift. We had an appointment in the morning with Dr. Mercer for another checkup; this one to determine the sex of the baby. It was all he had talked about for an entire week. Dara and Warrick were told they were having a girl. I tried to imagine what she would look like and if she would bring back memories for Dara of her daughter that had died in Katrina. They were both happy and content it seemed so I didn't give it much thought.

I was too stuck on what the doctor would tell us today. Would it be a girl or perhaps a boy? A little Nick? I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a girl that looked like me. While I had come to terms with the attempt and eventual letting go of some dark temptations, I was still haunted by thoughts of what all I was giving to my child as a parent. I could be a good parent couldn't I?

And this child could learn what a loving, caring home was as they grew up. They would never look at me and see what I did every time I looked in the mirror…. Right? Windows were eyes to the soul; maybe it was my darkest fear that the first time those eyes peered into mine they would see me for the monster I really am.

_Or maybe I'm just thinking too much about it. It's a baby Angela, not a lie detector. You're definitely thinking too much about this._

"Okay, time to go. Let's go."

I swiveled in my chair to see Nick. "I thought you went home!"

"I thought you did too but here you are!" He chuckled. "So let's go."

"But Niiiiick…." I teased. "Alright, I'm coming." I stood up and yanked on my duffle bag, amused as the second I did it Nick came rushing over to take it from me. "Hey!"

"Hay is for horses and horses are in barns."

I burst out laughing as I followed him from the morgue. "Okay, usually you're adorable but that was downright lame."

"You love lame."

"That I do. That I most definitely do."

"Hey now."

"Hay is for horses and-" I squealed as he reached out to tickle my sides and was successful in avoiding his fingers.

131313131313131313

As much as I like Dr. Mercer, I really can't stand the waiting room of her building. There were too many brightly colored things that distracted me and gave me ideas for the baby's room. Nick and I had just recently started purchasing things, not going too far until we knew the sex but every so often something would catch my eye that I couldn't stop from purchasing.

I wasn't really sure what was wrong with me; maybe there'd be something about personality disorders of pregnant women in all those Baby and Me books Nick had bought the other day. I teased the hell out of him for it so I wasn't going to dare admit I had been sneaking peaks at them whenever a question would enter my head.

Nick reached out to gently squeeze my knee. "You've been quiet all morning Angela, what's on your mind baby?"

"The baby is on my mind baby."

He chuckled at me but shook his head. "It's something else; you've been distracted since last night. Talk to me."

I didn't really want to but what the heck. "I received a letter from the Arizona prison yesterday." I cleared my throat. "I told them to keep me updated about Travis Philips' release."

"What'd they say?"

"They denied his request for parole."

"Well, that's a good thing Angela and-"

"They also told me he's been diagnosed with some sort of cancer. I only scanned it but from what I saw he doesn't have that long." I ground my teeth together. "After everything he did, he should suffer yet he's going to die because of a fucking disease."

Nick glanced around at the few people in the lobby. "Ang, keep it down baby."

I exhaled harshly through my nose. "I'm just upset."

"I know it doesn't seem fair after everything you've discovered but at least he'll stay behind bars."

"That's not the point Nick. He should be rotting behind bars for years to come. The pain from having cancer isn't enough." I closed my eyes as I felt Nick shift his hand to my stomach. I covered his hand with mine and leaned into him.

"Don't think about that." He whispered softly into my ear. "Think about this, think about us and our family. We have each other and that's all that is important, okay?"

I nodded and regulated my breathing. Of course, Nick was right. I shouldn't waste another thought on that heartless bastard; he was going to die in prison and I was going to live the life I wanted to with family and friends who cared for me.

"Angela Stokes?" I opened my eyes to see Dr. Mercer's assistant Tammy smiling at me. "We're ready for you now."

I allowed Nick to help me up and we followed her down the hallway to a room where I immediately slid up on the table to wait. Tammy handed me a gown and shut the door. I glanced over as I changed to find Nick browsing the small rack of pamphlets next to him on the wall. "There isn't one up there you don't already have so stop that."

"I'm just checking! You never know, they could have put up new ones."

Chuckling, I readjusted the gown the very second there was a knock on the door and Dr. Mercer entered a few seconds later. God, why in the world did the woman smiled all the damn time?

"Good morning Stokes family! How are we feeling today?"

"We're great." Nick returned her smile. "We are better than great actually, we are amazing."

I glared at him before shooting her a small smile. "Forgive him. He had an energy drink this morning."

Dr. Mercer chuckled and slid over to where I sat on her stool. "Something tells me his energy is coming more from natural excitement and not just caffeine. Go ahead and lean back Angela while I boot up the machine."

I did as she instructed and heard Nick's chair slide close to the table as well. A second later I completely relaxed when I felt his hand slip into mine. Dr. Mercer grabbed the sonogram wand and I flinched as she coated my stomach with cold gel. My eyes were focused so intently on the monitor I wasn't really paying attention to anything she said; wrong of me but I just wanted to see the baby again, almost as if I was double-checking it really existed.

"-a girl."

"What?" I blinked and tried to sit up. "It's a what?"

"It's a girl." Dr. Mercer smiled. "Congratulations Mommy."

I couldn't respond for two reasons: I started crying and Nick kissed me. I returned the kiss with enthusiasm and when he pulled away he kissed my cheeks. "Don't cry Angela. This is great news."

"I'm very happy." I whispered. "These aren't tears of pain or sorrow Nicky."

Dr. Mercer handed me napkins for my stomach as she stood up. "I'll give you a few minutes and let you change before we continue, okay?"

131313131313131313

I didn't give the past another thought; I focused on the future and my baby. It's been a week since the appointment and I still can't imagine what it's going to be like to have a little girl. Was she going to look like a little me? Would she have Nick's eyes and my dark hair? Would she like dolls or trucks? Did Nick really expect me to do diaper duty?

"Okay, listen up please."

I focused on Grissom from where I stood in the lobby of the station. It was crowded with investigators and cops alike, my eyes flickering past Warrick and Nick where they stood across the room. Dara wasn't there. Greg had told me some amusing story about the doctor requiring bed rest and Dara telling him sweetly to kiss her ass. And I thought my hormones were bad.

I threw away an entire carton of ice cream last night because it tasted funny to me. I'm sure there was nothing wrong with it but in my mind it was bad. The second Nick mentioned it I threatened to throw him in along with it. Thankfully he found the threat amusing and kissed me senseless before returning his attention to some random football game on ESPN.

"I have an announcement." Grissom cleared his throat. "I'm retiring as CSI Nightshift Supervisor."

It wasn't like the announcement was a surprise but it definitely came as a blow to everyone. There were murmurs that were silenced the second he opened his mouth again.

"I've had a good career here, the LVPD has treated me well but it's time to move on. I wish everyone the best and I hope to keep in touch. It's been a pleasure." He shook his head at the applause that followed. "Please, there's no need. I do have another announcement." He smiled softly at all of us. "With my departure, there's obviously an opening in the department so I'd like to introduce you to the new Nightshift Supervisor."

I shifted on my feet and waited for the name of some random Level 3 Caine had picked. I knew she wasn't Ecklie in any sense but more than likely the board had pressured her to pick an outside influence in order to continue giving the station 'new blood'. _New blood._ I snorted to myself. _Asses._

"I think you all know Nick Stokes."

_Well, son of a bitch._ From the looks of things I wasn't the only one surprised. Nick resembled a beauty queen that had just been crowned; not that he'd start screaming or crying but you get the idea. He came forward and I spotted Caine smiling from behind Grissom. I was overcome with the biggest urge to hug her the next time we were alone.

"Nick has grown as a CSI and he's the best qualified for this position. I know he'll do the LVPD and the citizens of Las Vegas proud."

I watched Nick hug Grissom as everyone clapped. I was happy for him but at the same time it was bittersweet now that Grissom would be gone. I knew he and Sara were going to be finally truly free to marry and go… collect bugs or whatever it is they did together now.

"Thank you." Nick was speaking to the group. "This is unexpected but welcome surprise. I won't let you down."

_Now do the wave Beauty Queen and this will be a perfect Kodak moment._

131313131313131313

"Angela? Could I bother you a second?"

I looked over from my work to see Caine again in my doorway. _Your second passed a long time ago. _This was becoming a common occurrence lately and I pushed down the flare of irritation I felt. I hated that I felt that way. I'd chalk it up to hormones. She was simply keeping an eye out on her domain; I couldn't fault her for something so animalistic in nature.

"You're not bothering me Director Caine."

"Samantha, please." She motioned at me to follow her. "I want to show you something."

_Of course you do. _Biting back a sigh, I slid back from my desk and rose to my feet, my hands smoothing down the fabric of my maternity shirt over my swollen stomach. Pregnancy was still treating me pretty well even after seven months. I was having random mood swings, craving random foods, and every so often I felt her kicking. With Dara now gone on maternity leave, it was up to me now to become the station's target for unwanted affection.

What was it about babies that turned even full grown men into mush? Every damn person in the station now wanted to touch me. The first few times I was asked completely freaked me out but now I was just suffering through the cooing and wide smiles. Was I excited that soon I'd be bringing a life into the world; a life that would look to me for all the answers and completely depend on me? Sure, that doesn't sound scary at all.

_A serial killer scared of a baby. Now that's priceless._

"Where exactly are we going?"

Caine was escorting me through the hallway, the two of us passing the break room, and she turned to smile at me as we neared Grissom's, well, Nick's office now. I was still getting used to the fact he had retired and now Nick was the one in charge, his things now in the office with the door plaque that proudly displayed him as Night Shift Supervisor.

"I realize now that you're getting closer to your due date that the atmosphere downstairs is not the best one to subject you to daily for hours on end."

_I don't remember complaining; more like sighs of relief._

"I've done some rearranging and I think this is more suitable." She opened up the door to the room directly beside his. "I hope you can make due with this."

I stepped into the doorway and stared at the office that was complete with a desk, computer, and even a small plant in one corner. "Why was I expecting something more…. dusty?"

Caine chuckled from behind me as she leaned on the doorframe. "I told Dara that was permanent and I kept my word; her office next to Brass' is ready for when she returns."

I turned to face her. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say a word." She smiled as if she had read my mind. "Just use the office and try to stay off your feet just like we agreed."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome Angela. I'll have one of the assistants bring your things and paperwork up to you now."

I nodded as I turned away to look at the room again. There wasn't much to it, a pretty basic corner of the station, but it was enough. I would use it for now and then after the baby came, I could return to the depths of the morgue where there was silence and… Well, the silence was enough of a reason.

"Knock, knock."

Breaking free from my thoughts, I couldn't stop myself from smiling as I spotted Greg in my doorway. "Well, hello there Mr. Sanders."

"Hello yourself Mommy." Greg grinned widely. "I see Caine finally let you see your office."

"That she did. She's sending up a few things right now too."

"You and Nicky now side-by-side. It's all kind of romantic ain't it?"

I rolled my eyes and he chuckled as I punched him harmlessly in the shoulder. He continued to glance around my new office. "It's great she could get you a room close to him, you know, for the baby. If anything was to happen, he'd be right next door instead of having to run all the way to the morgue."

"Greg…. What'd you do?"

"Who, me?"

Smiling, I moved around the desk to sit down. God, my feet were killing me. I clasped my hands together and eyed him suspiciously. "That's the face of a guilty man if you ask me."

"Mrs. Stokes, I don't have a clue what you're talking about."

"Greg Sanders."

The tone in my voice had him shifting but he grinned nonetheless. "I might have mentioned the idea to Caine but in the end, it was her decision. I thought maybe it was time to get you out of that scary, old morgue."

"I like that scary, old morgue." I grumbled.

"Yes, well, babies like sunshine and fresh air." Greg turned to take the box from the assistant that had approached and glanced down at it as he came towards the desk. "All your stuff fit into one box; how is that even possible?"

"You know I hate clutter."

He nodded and I watched him drop a hand into the box, coming out a second later with the framed picture my nephew Nate had drawn me almost a year and a half ago. _Time flies when you're killing psychos and having babies. _"This is different."

I chuckled and grabbed it from him. "Hey now, I like that too." I propped it up on my desk but paused from commenting again when the baby kicked, a grunt pouring from me.

"Ang? Angie, you okay?"

"I'm fine." Rubbing my stomach, I managed a small smile. "The baby is just doing her afternoon exercises, that's all."

"I bet you're ready for her to be born."

"Yes." I looked back at the picture on my desk. "I think I am."


	14. Episode 3x14

**Episode 3x14: Perfect as a Picture**

"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him and then I'm going to kill him again." I mumbled to myself as I walked through the front doors of the station. _Walking? More like wobbling if you ask me. People walk; what I am is a Good Year blimp. Those wobble in the wind right?_

"Angela!"

I tightened my grip on the brown bag in my hand and was thankful I didn't swing it at the person who had somehow managed to startle me. "Hey Hodges." I stepped into his lab. "I see you're as alert as ever."

He grinned widely and smoothed a hand over his hair. "Yes, well, some things just come naturally."

"I bet they do."

His eyes went to the bag and momentarily my stomach before returning to my face. He flushed when he saw me glaring at him. "How are you feeling?"

"Do you really want to know?" I glanced around. "Let's just say I'm a second away from forcing the baby out myself. Nine months is way too long to carry around extra weight, and I swear next time I see Nick I'm going to kill him for getting me into this! I mean, of all the things we could have done and-" I inhaled and forced myself to count to five slowly. "Have you seen my oh so wonderful husband lately?"

"He's still out in the field on a case. I don't know when he'll be back."

"Angela!" Greg appeared beside me, wide grin on his face. "You look soooooo pretty!"

"Shut up."

He chuckled and handed Hodges a sample bag. "I need this processed right away."

"Good luck with that." I mumbled. "This is Hodges we're talking about."

"Hey!"

Greg started laughing and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Sorry Hodges." I cleared my throat. "Hormones." I shrugged and lowered the brown bag I held onto his desk. "I brought Nick some lunch but I guess I can just put it in the fridge for him."

"Here, I'll do it." Greg snatched up the bag and was down the hallway before I could object.

I crossed my hands over my chest. "I could have taken it. It's not like, you know what? This sucks." I ranted. "I've been a huge whale for five months now and people touch me all the time and I can't wear my favorite jeans and I'm just…. This sucks!"

"Angela…"

"You know how hard it is to do an autopsy when your stomach keeps getting in the way? Not to mention I keep throwing up everything I eat! Guts and fruit, not the best combo! And even now I'm hungry!"

Hodges's face turned a white color as he stared at me. "Maybe you should…"

"If you say sit down, I swear to God Hodges, I'll put you back on my list!"

"Your list?"

"I'll have you know that is none of your business and I-" I paused at the feeling of something wet running down my leg. "Oh my god, did I just pee on myself?"

His eyes went wide. He rushed around the desk and stared at the puddle on the floor. "Oh shit."

"Oh shit, what? You cuss?"

"Angela, your water just broke."

"Water? What water? I wasn't carrying……" I stopped. "Oh shit."

"Don't move and uh…" He panicked, hands going in every direction, before he moved around me into the doorway. "Greg! Is there a doctor? I mean, I know Greg's not a doctor but-"

"Hodges!" I inhaled as I felt a pain in my stomach and I reached out to grab his shirt. "I need a hospital. Does this look like a hospital to you?" He shook his head and I let go of his shirt. "You call Nick for me and tell him I'll meet him at the hospital."

"Are you nuts?"

_Oh, now you ask me._ "Should I teleport myself there?"

"Greg!"

I couldn't object again because at this point Greg and the entire staff were in the room doorway trying to help. Hands grabbed my arms and glanced both ways to see Greg had my right arm while Detective Henderson had my left.

Henderson smiled at me. "Ready?"

I chuckled and let them both escort me from the lab. "I need a hospital and a thousand shots of morphine then I'll be ready."

"I'm not sure about the thousand shots but we'll see what we can do about getting you to that hospital."

"Thanks Mike." I commented dryly. "You're a fucking miracle worker."

1414141414141414

I opened my eyes to find my room full of flowers, and Nick beside me in a chair, our child in his arms. I shifted on the bed to watch them and couldn't stop myself from smiling as he cooed down at the sleeping baby.

He finally looked up and his grin widened as our eyes met. "Look, Mommy's awake now Andrea." He stood up, cradling the baby carefully and stepped forward to kiss my forehead. "How are you feeling?"

I cleared my throat, unable to take my eyes off our daughter. "I'm fine." Delivery had been long and painful, without a doubt the hardest thing I had ever done, and in the end, completely worth it the second I heard her sharp cry after the doctor cleared her airway. "How is she?"

"She's perfect." Nick fussed with the pink blanket keeping her warm. "She's been sleeping since the nurse approved her for a room visit. Do you want to hold her?"

Fear flashed through me and I cleared my throat again. "I'm… I'm tired and if I drop her, I…" I objected as he sat down on the edge of my hospital bed and held her out to me. My hands shook as I took her from him. I stared down at the tiny face waiting for any second to wake up as if it had all been a dream. Andrea shifted in the blanket and I inhaled at the sight of her yawning. I felt my heart stop the second her eyes opened.

"Hey Andrea, hey baby." He reached out to push the blanket back from her face. "There she is; say hi to Mommy!"

She yawned again before turning her face to nuzzle my chest as her eyes closed and it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen.

Nick chuckled. "That's all we're going to get for a while I'm afraid." His eyes watched me as I watched her. "Doctor says you're going to be good as new in a few days and by that time, she should be ready to go as well. The guys from the station have been coming and going since you came in." He motioned at all the flowers. "I think majority of these vases are from Greggo and the lab rats."

I looked around the room. "That was sweet of them."

"Speaking of which, Henderson did a great job of getting you here with Greg and waiting until I got here. I don't think he left until hours after the delivery was over."

"He's a good man."

Nick reached out to stroke my hair. "Yeah, he is." He rose and kissed my forehead. "I'm going to run and get some coffee."

"You're leaving me with her?" I flinched at how panicked my voice sounded at that moment. "Please don't be long."

"I promise baby; I'll bring you some water."

I tried to push down the panic I felt as he left. My gaze dropped and I stared down at tiny, little Andrea Leigh Stokes, those dark eyes closed to the world as she slept. Knowing her life was literally in my hands filled me with a sense of purpose I had never felt before, not even about Andy. Our dark haired miracle was depending on me and I realized right then and there I didn't want to let her down. Something in me changed at that very moment but what I couldn't begin to tell you.

"Out of all the times that I don't have a camera..."

I looked up to find a smiling Dara Waters in my doorway. "Afternoon Officer."

She chuckled and stepped into the room, her smile widening as she gazed down at my daughter. "Oh, she's adorable Angela."

"Want to hold her?"

"Of course I do." Carefully, she took Andrea from me and lowered herself into the chair Nick had vacated. "Wow, this is some head of hair. Angelica didn't have this much at first."

Angelica Rose Brown was a beautiful child with mocha light skin, green eyes and brown hair. She clearly took after her father but she was the world to both of them.

"Where is the baby?"

Dara looked up at me with furrowed eyebrows. "She's in the carrier with Warrick. We ran into Nick coming inside."

"I meant Rick but I'm glad to see Angelica came along for the ride." I smiled softly. "How are things?"

"Great actually. Warrick and I…" She handed me back Andrea sooner than I expected she would and I was surprised to find how much more relaxed I was once she was back in my arms. "We're getting married."

My eyebrows rose. "I'm glad to hear he finally talked you into it."

"I was kind of hoping you'd be my maid of honor." Dara laughed at the look that crossed my face. "Don't look so shocked Angela. I would like for you to be there and I already know Nick is going to be Rick's best man like Rick was at yours so…"

"I don't know the first thing about being a maid of honor."

"It's simple really and besides, you said that about being a mother and look at you now."

_That's right Angela, look at you now._ I leaned back into the bed pillows just as Nick and Warrick appeared in the doorway.

"Hey there Angela."

"Hey." I watched as Warrick bent to kiss Dara and frowned when I noticed he didn't have the carrier with him. "What'd you do Rick, trade her for a cup of coffee?"

He rolled his eyes and motioned at Nick from over his shoulder. The two month old baby was in Nick's arms, the carrier having been placed down on the floor. Angelica was awake and cooing at him.

"She cried the whole way here but the second she saw Uncle Nick…" Warrick chuckled. "I think it's love at first sight."

"I can't help I've got skills Man."

"You have always had a way with women."

I cleared my throat and they looked at me almost shamefully. Nick was careful when he handed Angelica to Warrick. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of such a tall, often imposing man holding such a small baby, an indescribable look on his face as he gazed down at her. Nick came around to the other side of the bed and sat, an arm going easily behind my back as he leaned in to watch Andrea sleep.

"Can I come in or is this the gorgeous baby only club now?"

Greg was a welcomed sight in the doorway. Behind him I could see Hodges and I couldn't have been more shocked to see Grissom along with Sara as well. They all came into the room, all talking and hugging and for once I didn't mind the chatter. I welcomed it.

1414141414141414

[_One Week Later_]

I had barely shut my eyes when I heard Andrea crying from her crib. It was instinct to pop right back up and I didn't spare a glance towards Nick's empty side of the bed before I was racing to her room. The second she saw me she went quiet, her brown eyes staring and those tiny hands and feet moving wildly for attention.

"Andrea, Mommy has to sleep okay?" I reached down to double check for what was probably the hundredth time that everything in her bed was safely secured. "When Daddy comes home you can cry all you want."

Those eyes continued to watch me but she did nothing else. I stepped back. She let out a soft wail and curiously I stepped forward again. As soon as I did, she stopped crying, her entire body still.

"You want to sleep with me don't you?" I scooped her up gently and cradled her to my chest. "Of course you do."

I made my way back to our bedroom with her. It didn't take long to make a pillow fort for Nick's side of the bed. I made sure she was comfortable before I lowered myself down beside her. We stared at each other for several minutes. When I reached out she grabbed onto one of my fingers, her tiny hand so delicate against mine that it actually made me tear up.

"Mommy loves you very much Andrea. I hope you never doubt that." Carefully I moved her closer to me. The dogs remained asleep in their beds and silence filled the house again.

It wasn't long after I drifted to sleep that I felt more weight press down onto the bed and keeping my eyes closed, I smiled at the feeling of Nick sliding his arm around my waist, his lips pressing against my shoulder.

"I don't know why I checked Andrea's room; I knew she'd be in here."

I opened my eyes to see she was still asleep. "She was fussy."

"She's a baby; she's going to be fussy." He stroked a hand down my side. "Why don't you get some rest Angie? You must be tired. I'll keep an eye on her for a while."

That was the excuse lately when he wanted to hold her and walk around the house for hours simply talking to her. "You should go shower and get something to eat."

"I'm not hungry. I ate with Rick before I came home."

I shifted on the bed, careful not to wake her, and gazed over my shoulder at him. "Ate where?"

"We ate at the usual place."

"I thought we talked about how I hated you eating there."

"It's where Rick wanted to go and the place is full of cops so-"

"It's always been full of cops. That didn't stop Warrick from getting shot there did it?" I stared up at him in confusion. "How could he even go back there after what happened? Does Dara know?"

Andrea stirred but when she stayed asleep, Nick's gaze returned to mine. "No, she doesn't and don't you go telling on us either. She doesn't need to worry about him and you don't have to worry about me."

I poked him in the shoulder. "Well, too bad. I'm going to worry as much as I want." I poked him again and he chuckled, grabbing me by the wrist in order to kiss my hand. "Oh no, you don't; there's no kissing your way out of this one."

"You sure about that?"

Hormones were created by the Devil. I sighed as he bit down lightly on the inside of my wrist, my eyes half-way closing in an involuntary response. "Stop that." My tone wasn't as serious as my words and hearing that he grinned at me. "I mean it Nicky!"

"I'd stop if I really believed that."

"Well, you should. You heard what Dr. Mercer said, no sexual activity for six weeks."

"Are you sure she didn't mean six days?"

I softened my laughter and reached out my free hand to slide it over his closely shaved head. "I won't fuss at you for going to the diner but Dara and Warrick are bringing Angelica over tomorrow and if she asks, I punished you to the fullest extent of the law."

Chuckling, he pressed his lips to mine. "Deal." He settled down more on the mattress. "I really should go shower but right now I just want to hold you."

I felt him playing with the long strands of my hair and smiled. "I have no objection to that."

"There's a letter for you on the kitchen counter."

"I know." I also knew it was from the prison in Arizona. "I'll get to it eventually."

"It might be important Sweetie."

"The only thing that's important right now is being right here with you and our baby." I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of Andrea's steady breathing. "I love you Nicky."

He sighed and it was without a doubt from complete relaxation. Everything about this moment was perfect. "I love you Angela. I love you and our little girl more than words can ever describe."

Absolutely everything.


	15. Episode 3x15

**A/N: **_My apologies for the length of time between updates. I will try very hard to not make you wait so long for the next one._ _Unless I get inspired by fresh ideas (and suggestive reviews?) this will the the last "season" of Angela Verse. I had always imagined it a trilogy but we'll see. Once again, THANK YOU for all your reviews be them positive or negative. I appreciate the time spent here (even from you lurkers). Enjoy._

**Episode 3x15: The Times, They Are a Changin'**

Six months passed in the blink of an eye. Though I kept it for reasons unknown to me, I never opened the letter. I wasn't going to waste my time in being interested in what the Warden had to say about that bastard's current status; only thing that he stayed behind bars where he belonged. As long as that was accomplished and he had no contact with me or my family, there was no sense in wasting time thinking about the subject.

Andrea babbled incoherently from where she sat in the hanging chair not more than two feet away from me. She bounced and put her toys in her mouth, her dark brown eyes following my every moment. Each day that passed I found myself more entranced by her; more fascinated and head over heels in love. Everything about her from the way she laughed to her smell brought a smile to my face.

It was amazing how one tiny life could change each tiny little thing about you. Never in a million years could I have imagined having this life and being this content in it yet here I was, absolutely delighted by the way things had turned out for me. My sacrifices didn't outweigh the outcomes and I knew for certain now that they never would.

"What do you think babe, steaks or something else?"

_Oh, that's right; Warrick and Dara were coming over again with Angelica. _Lately they had made it an almost weekly thing for both families share a meal together. It was uncomfortable at first but now I looked forward to it, not that I would ever admit it to Nick.

"Steaks should be just fine. There's beer in the fridge for you and Rick."

"Is everything okay? You've been kind of distant lately."

I cut off the water faucet and turned from the sink. "I'm fine Nick, it's just… I've been off from work for six months now and a part of me is ready to get back." I watched him scoop Andrea out of the chair and she giggled in excitement as he dangled in her the air.

As I continued to watch them I realized another huge part of me never wanted to return. Life as a mother and a wife had turned out to be quite beneficial to me. In other terms, I was enjoying it.

Nick was everything a woman could want in a man and Andrea was beautiful, the perfect combination of us both. She was quiet, sweet tempered, and sometimes when I looked at her, I knew she recognized me for what I was; the one person in the world that would do absolutely everything to protect her.

There was also a part of me that watched her almost suspiciously and I hated myself for it. Our little girl was beginning to look so much like me with her dark hair and eyes. As she grew, would she continue to look like the splitting image of me or would she take on more characteristics of her father?

I had my doubts. Had I inadvertently passed on something to my daughter? Underneath those cute, gentle layers was there a killer in wait? Would she expect me to teach her things as any parent would do for their offspring? She would look up to me to guide her. Would she ask me such a horrible thing like how to take a life? I couldn't do that because I already knew that wasn't the life I wanted for her.

"Wave to Mommy!"

I focused back on my family hearing Andrea giggling as Nick lifted her arm in a wave. "Hey baby." I waved back with a smile. "Why don't you start the grill up Nick and I'll work on the salads?"

"Alright." He lowered Andrea onto the floor and laughed as she wobbled a second before plopping down onto the linoleum. "Do you want her back in the swing or in the playpen?"

"The swing please so I can keep an eye on her."

Andrea kicked her little feet playfully as he slid her back into the swing and seconds later our daughter was happily bouncing again. He kissed her forehead then my cheek before he slipped out the backdoor in order to pull out the grill.

I watched from the window as he worked to set everything up for lunch, the dogs playing with each other by the pool. We were the typical American family, seemingly perfect in every way but once you scratched the surface….

"Mama!"

Startled, I dropped the plate I was washing and it broke into pieces in the sink. I ignored the shards and looked wide-eyed at my daughter.

She continued to bounce, a happy smile on her face as she gazed up at me. "Mama!"

"Baby?" The door shut behind Nick. "What's wrong? I thought I heard something break." I continued to stare at Andrea. "Angela?"

"Mama!"

"Angela! She just said Mama!" Nick rushed forward and lifted Andrea up into his arms again. She squealed as he spun her in a circle and pressed kisses all over her face. "That's our girl!"

At that moment I knew I was leaving behind my past life forever; I never wanted to go back to that life. I wanted to stay in this moment until the day I died.

151515151515151515

"Would you look at those two?"

I did as Dara instructed and smiled at the sight of Warrick and Nick standing in front of the pool looking as if they were deep in discussion as they each drank a beer.

"They want us to think they're talking about something really important but we both know it's about basketball or some girl they dated in the past."

"My money's on basketball."

Dara chuckled. She sipped on the coffee I had made us minutes earlier, the sounds of our children playing. Was this the life I was to expect from here on out; afternoon coffees, weekends with another married couple, and the occasional conversation about the weather?

From where they were in the living room, I watched our daughters as they babbled to each other in their own little language. Angelica was older than Andrea at nine months and was an amazingly sweet child. She had taken an instant liking to Andrea and thankfully it had been a shared affection.

Angelica handed Andrea a small building block and I watched my daughter study it carefully before sticking an edge of it into her mouth. _Looks like Daddy has toy cleaning duty._

"Who would have thought things would turn out like this? We're just a couple of housewives now."

I brought my gaze back to Dara. "Yes, who would have thought?"

"Certainly not me." She snorted sipping at her coffee again. "I came to Vegas for a clean slate until I found someplace else to go and now look at me; married with a child and another one on the way."

I almost fumbled with my coffee cup and it triggered her laughter. "Warrick really wanted to wait until the first trimester is over before saying anything but hell, if I can't tell you, who can I tell?"

Tightening my grip on my mug I cleared my throat. "When did you find out?"

"Yesterday morning."

"And you're… okay with it?"

She frowned at me. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because it's… it's so soon." I reached out for her mug. "I was wondering why you requested decaf, give me that." I lowered the mug into the sink despite her protests. "If you're happy that's great but it's just Angelica's only nine months and…" I lowered my mug into the sink as well. "I thought you wanted to return to work as soon as you could."

"Some things you can't plan out Angela."

I leaned against the counter and slowly smiled. "If Warrick could keep his hands off you, you could." I chuckled as she blushed. "Not that any woman on Earth blames you."

"Angela, when you…"

"Please don't." I turned away and busied myself with rinsing out the mugs. "Whatever it is you want to know, well, the answers you'll get won't be enough for you."

"When you were with Warrick, did you ever imagine how your life would have turned out had you chosen him instead of Nick?"

I cut off the faucet and grabbed the towel on the counter to dry my hands. "No."

"He did."

I forced my attention out the sink window but that was pointless because Nick and Warrick remained standing in my line of sight. "Well, he shouldn't have and I'm sorry that he told you."

"I'm not. It helped our relationship grow stronger, Rick being completely honest with me. We went to a few counseling sessions and once I got through that wall that was built around him after the shooting? It was like nothing was off limits. I don't hold any of that against him now and I definitely don't hold any grudges towards you."

"Rick was infatuated with an idea Dara." I ignored her as I turned away from the sink and went for a beer in the fridge. "Once he realized I wasn't at all like he imagined, he…"

"He what? Settled for me?"

"I never said-"

"I know he didn't settle just like I know what he shared with you wasn't meaningless. Regardless of what he thought, he's always cared about you."

"We should end this conversation right now."

"Did you know that he used to try to find information about you? He was so sure that you were…"

My eyes met Dara's as I sipped from the Coors Light bottle. "That I was what? A killer?"

"He always suspected something wasn't right; I guess that's why he tried to keep Nick away from you for so long but once Cupid lets his arrow go…" Dara glanced away from me to check that our daughters were still playing. "I've come to accept a lot of things and one of those things is that Warrick will always have a soft spot for you. It's not something I worry about anymore and I'm only bringing this up because I don't want you to continue beating yourself up about the two of you."

I snorted and continued to drink. Warrick was the least of my worries anymore. "Well, you can put your mind at rest Dara because I don't beat myself up about it, never have and I never will." I sounded a bit cold but I didn't care at the moment. Dara was a big girl, she could handle it. "I have a family now and that's all I care about."

"Liar." She smirked at me and I wanted nothing more than to chuck my beer bottle at her. "I guess all those times of saving his life was just doing Nick and me a favor right?"

"Someone has to look after the two of you."

"Are you… Wait a minute, are you pouting? I so caught you and now you're pouting."

"What? Don't be ridiculous." I rolled my eyes and smiled into the mouth of my bottle. "I am not."

Her response was thankfully interrupted as the boys came back into the house. I ignored Warrick completely and wrapped my arms around Nick's waist, my mouth pressing quickly to his.

"Well, hello to you too." He hugged me back with a smile. "I swear we weren't out there that long."

"I can't miss you even if it's just been a few minutes?" I heard Dara chuckle and immediately glared at her. "Dara was just telling me the good news."

"What good news?"

Warrick gasped. "Babe, you didn't!"

"She's my best friend!"

I watched Warrick roll his eyes but kiss her forehead as he pulled her close. His green eyes connected to mine for only a split second before I looked away. Sure, I was passed everything as was he for the sake of keeping it from Nick but that didn't mean we were best buddies. Some lines were there for a reason and once you broke them you had to work twice as hard rebuilding them.

_Wait! Did she just call me her best friend?_

"Don't be so harsh on her Man." Nick laughed. "You were just telling me the good news five seconds ago."

"Rick!" Dara slapped him harmlessly on the stomach. "You are such an asshole. I almost felt bad!"

Nick laughed again before turning somber. "Guess this means you won't be returning to the LVPD like you thought."

"Nope and in fact, I've already tendered in my resignation to Brass."

We stared at her in shock and I managed to regain my ability to speak first. "Why in the world would you do something so crazy?"

"Because it's what I wanted to do." She laughed. "I want to stay home and raise my children for a little while. One of these days I might change my mind but for now this is what I want." She looked up at Rick and they both smiled. "This is what we both want."

"I think you're absolutely nuts."

"Angela!" Nick laughed nervously as he squeezed my hip. "I don't think it's that crazy of an idea. I mean, think of all the things that can be done as a family if one of us would be at home all the time."

I eyed him. "If you even think for one second I'm giving up my job, you're out of your mind."

"You could always take a short vacation and-"

"I did that." I interrupted. "It was called being pregnant and then recuperating from pushing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of an orange!"

He actually had the nerve to glance hesitantly at Warrick. "Baby, it's just, well Rick and I were talking and-"

I narrowed my eyes. "Excuse me for a minute."

"Ang, come on now…"

I ignored him and stalked into our bedroom, the door slamming behind me. I was angry, probably more than I should have been, but something in me was on fire and therefore common sense flew out the window.

It wasn't shortly after that the door was opening again and Nick had the decency to look ashamed as he entered. "Ang, I…"

"You and Rick don't make those kinds of decisions, we do. We make them together as a family."

"It came out wrong."

"You think?"

"I just meant that I thought Dara giving up her job was a big step and that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea in the future, that's all."

I ran my hands through my hair and started to pace. "Giving up is a big step." I laughed. "Do you have any clue what I've given up for you? For us?" Crossing my arms across my chest, I shook my head. "Of course you don't."

"What in the world are you talking about Angela?"

I put my hands on my hips and glared at him as hard as I could. "I have sacrificed so much for you and for this family day in and day out that I can't keep count anymore but it doesn't seem to be enough."

Nick stared at me with complete confusion on his face. "Of course it's enough. I'm sorry if I handled that out there the wrong way but where is this coming from?"

That's a good question; maybe I was more rattled about the Warrick thing than I was admitting to myself. I slumped down onto the bed and Nick wasted no time in lowering himself down beside me, his arm winding around my shoulder.

"Is this about Dara being pregnant again?"

"No." I frowned. "Why would it be?"

"I don't know. We haven't really talked about having more kids and…"

"We just had one." I stared at him. "That's why we haven't talked about having more kids." He kissed my temple and I closed my eyes before leaning into him. "I'm sorry I overreacted."

Nick wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face into his neck. "I'm sorry for… Well, I'm sorry." He chuckled. "Rick and I were just shooting the breeze outside. I look at them and see how happy they are and…"

"But we're happy." I leaned back to catch his gaze. "Aren't we?"

"Of course we are baby; I'm happier than I have ever been in my life." He cupped my face with his hands. "I just want you to realize that no matter what you want to do, I'll support it. I don't want you to feel as if you have to work for the rest of your life if that's not what you want."

"I don't feel that way Nick. I wouldn't change a thing about our lives. I love you and our baby but I also love my job. Please don't ask me to give that up."

"I would never do that Angela, I promise."

I leaned into him again, grateful for his understanding and warmth. "Thank you."

"Unless I manage to get you pregnant again…"

"Nicky!" I tackled him onto the bed and we wrestled around for a few minutes until he managed to pin me successfully to the mattress. "Nicky, we have company…"

He dipped his head to nip at my lips and I growled, the playfulness between us continuing until I was straddling him. Our eyes met. We both smiled and there was no hesitation in our lips meeting the second he sat up.

His lips on my neck, I let out a moan and tugged at his shirt. "Take this off."

"Baby, you're right; Rick and Dara-"

"Can wait." I slid my hands under his shirt to scrape my nails down his chest. "It's been six months since we were together." I whined. "Six long, God awful months."

Nick groaned and leaned back to kiss me again. "Why don't we beg Rick and Dara to babysit and it just be the two of us tonight?"

A night without Andrea nearby; the thought made me panic. "But Andrea might need us and if we're not around-"

"I understand wanting to be close but we'll only be a phone call away if we're needed."

I closed my eyes as he kissed me again, hands sliding up the back of my shirt. I moaned at the feeling of his fingers toying with my bra. "Okay, okay." I chuckled and pop-kissed him several times before I slid off of his lap. "But only if they are certain they don't mind."

"Something tells me they won't."


	16. Episode 3x16

**A/N: **_Once again, I apologize on the wait. Real life has been an issue lately and I've also been trying to put together the finale pieces of this in a way that suits me. This chapter isn't very long but it's important so I thought I would go ahead and post it. _

_Thank you again for all the reviews. More coming soon._

**Episode 3x16: The Things That Define Us**

_Focus Angela, focus! _

As hard as I tried I found I couldn't. I couldn't stop myself from wondering if Andrea was okay and I was continuously reaching for my cell phone only to put it back down a second later. Several months had passed since we first brought her home from the hospital and now finally back at work I couldn't seem to get back into the swing of things.

My first week back at work wasn't hectic by any means. There was the steady pace to things I had certainly missed. Work was a welcome distraction, as it always had been… So why was I staring at the phone again?

I exhaled and forced myself to concentrate on the report spread out in front of me. I was signing off on it when my phone vibrated. Quickly I snatched it up, my heart leaping into my throat as I recognized the house number. "What's wrong? Is Andrea okay?"

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong." Nick's gentle voice was full of amusement on the other end. "I was just calling to see if you wanted us to come see you on your lunch break."

I instantly relaxed in my chair. Nick and I had agreed for a while to work opposite shifts so someone could be with Andrea at all times. I didn't feel right with leaving her with a stranger in our house and the thought of a daycare was a complete nightmare to me. I checked the clock on my computer. "I would love that." I couldn't help myself. "How is Andrea doing?"

"She, very much like her father, is missing her mother very much."

I smiled into the phone. "Well, that's good because her mother misses them both very much as well." _When did I get so sappy?_ Oh well, I could live with it. I could live with a lot of things now since Andrea came into my life. "I'm almost done with my reports so anytime in the next hour would be good. Do you want to meet somewhere?"

"Some of the guys have been bugging me to bring Andrea by the station so how about I pick you up?"

'Some of the guys' referred to Greg who had begun to work with the shorthanded day shift and Hodges who was filling in for Henry while he was on vacation. "Nick, tell me they didn't buy more presents. We hardly have any room in the baby's room as it is, she'll never play with all of them!"

"Baby, you know I can't control those two. Besides, it's less we have to buy in the future as she grows up and we can always pack the rest for the next baby." I cocked an eyebrow and as if seeing it, he chuckled. "I love you."

"I love you too but that's not funny."

"It's not a joke. Andrea's first birthday is coming up soon, what better present than a baby sister or brother?"

This line of discussion wasn't unfamiliar to me. Nick constantly brought up the idea of already adding to our family. I wasn't going to deny the fact that the idea wasn't altogether unpleasant but I wasn't ready… was I? What? Of course I wasn't; what am I thinking? I cleared my throat. "Most little girls want a pony or a new Barbie, not a sibling Nick. I'll see you two soon okay?"

He chuckled again and I knew that the discussion was still far from over. "Hey, wait a second Angie." I listened to him rustling around in the background. "Say goodbye to Mommy."

"Mama!"

I smiled at hearing Andrea's babbling into the phone line. "Hey baby, are you being good for Daddy?" She babbled some more excitedly in her personal language and I couldn't stop myself from tearing up. "Mommy loves you too Sweetheart."

161616161616

Andrea certainly took after her father in her openness for other people. She smiled and laughed as she was passed around, her wide eyes taking in everything while her hands grabbed for objects close to her. Those objects included hair, clothing, and the occasional ear but no one seemed to mind.

They were all smiling back at her, cooing and tickling her in order to make her laugh. Yes, she certainly took after her father.

"Mama!"

I was interrupted from my thoughts at the sound of her voice and Greg chuckled as she reached out for me from where he had her in his arms. "Angel Cake, she wants her mommy!"

Smiling, I lifted her into my arms. I pressed my lips against her temple. She cuddled into me and I greedily inhaled the scent of baby powder on her skin. It hit me that it wouldn't be long before she would no longer need to be held. Andrea would grow up into a beautiful woman and there would be no need for me anymore. She would come into her own and I only hoped she continued to take after me solely in her looks.

"Ready babe?"

I nodded at Nick and waved with my free hand before I turned to follow him. I was quiet as we walked to the car and buckled her in, silent still as I buckled in as well and waited for Nick to start the SUV.

"Something's wrong."

"What?" I immediately twisted in my seat to look at Andrea but she only gazed back, her favorite stuffed bunny squished between her hands. "What's wrong? She seems fine."

Nick reached out to cup my chin and gently turned my face back towards his. "I'm not talking about Andrea." He let go to stroke my cheek with the back of his fingers. "There's something on your mind. Talk to me."

"Nothing is wrong, I'm fine."

"Angie…"

I smiled softly and leaned in to press my lips to his. "I promise."

"Is this about me bringing up more children?"

"No." I grabbed his hand and laced my fingers through his. "I promise you nothing is wrong and if there was I promise that I would talk to you about it." That wasn't entirely the truth; how did you bring up the fear of passing on homicidal genes to your child? I pressed my lips to the back of his hand. "Can we go to that Chinese place I like downtown?"

"We can go wherever you want Angie."

"I'd like that very much please." I leaned back in my seat but didn't release his hand. His eyes lingered on me for a few seconds longer before he turned to face forward, the engine revving to life.

Chinese food being an addiction of mine, the Orchids Garden Restaurant was one of my favorite places to come during the week. In the past I hadn't defined myself with patterns but since Nick my life had turned into a comfortable pattern I found I couldn't resist. I began to frequently visit more places repeatedly and even to a point where the owners knew me by name.

We were seated quickly and I smiled my genuine thanks as our waitress gave us menus before disappearing.

"Lo Mein with a side of rice."

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes good-naturedly at Nick and to spite him opened my menu to gaze at the selections. "It's really good here."

"I know. I usually eat off your plate remember?"

I did. I remembered everything as if recording it in my mind when it came to him or our daughter. I watched Andrea play happily with her bunny in her carrier.

Nick closed his menu shut, eyes locked on my face. "I want to talk to you about something."

"Nicky, if this is about another baby right now…"

"It's not."

I shut my menu as well and met his gaze openly. "Okay. I'm listening."

"I was looking through some things at the house earlier today and I came across that letter the prison sent you a few months back."

"Oh?" I fought the urge to look away and focus back on Andrea just to rid myself of the uneasy feeling suddenly residing in the pit of my stomach. "I must have forgotten to throw it out. What did it say? Let me guess, the bastard is getting out soon or wait, don't tell me, he's already out?" I grunted. "He probably doesn't even have Cancer anymore and soon he'll-"

"Angela, Travis Phillips is dead."

I almost bit my tongue in surprise. "He's what?"

"That's what the letter was about." Nick reached out to take my hand in his. "He died a few days before the letter was mailed."

"Good." I spat. "How?"

He shifted in his seat and I watched as with his free hand he pulled the now folded letter from his wallet. "It says he died in his sleep." He slid the paper towards me. "I thought maybe you would want to read it. It's time to let it go baby."

"I let go a long time ago Nick."

"Then why haven't you thrown it away?"

I gazed down at the letter. I didn't touch it. I couldn't. "He's dead, that's all I need to know."

"Babe…"

"It's over." I looked back up at him. "He can't come after me or our family. He's in Hell along with the woman who called herself my mother. That's all that matters now and I'm fine with that. A piece of paper isn't going to change how I feel."

Nick squeezed my hand and I watched as he slid the letter back into his pocket. "I love you."

"I love you too." I cleared my throat as our waitress approached. "Sesame chicken with an extra side of broccoli?"

"Shut up." He teased with a smile.

I smiled back and sat back to let him do the ordering.


	17. Episode 3x17

**A/N: **_I apologize for the lengthy wait between updates. I am currently trying to wrap this story up as well as work another project while working a full time job at a hospital so things are a bit hectic at the moment. As it stands, I hope to have this story completed by next chapter. This chapter was more a miss than a hit for me but I found it important to the forward motivation of the story. Enjoy and I hope to update very soon. Thank you again for all the comments and author notices._

**Episode 3x17: Not So Gentle Reminders**

"You know, when someone says they're going to retire they tend to stay away from the office."

Dara looked up from the paperwork on her desk and chuckled. "I know but there are a few cases I'd like to finish before I walk away for good." Her expression grew serious. "Know what I mean?"

That I definitely did. I stepped inside her office and took a seat in from of her desk. "What cases?"

"Just some to sign off on and a few lingering around that I need to check the status, that's all."

"What cases?" I repeated firmly.

She made sure her door was shut before she tossed me a file. "I know I'm not cut out for what you do exactly but that doesn't mean I'm not aware things still need to be… handled. I want this case taken care of and solved before I retire."

I didn't even move to pick up the folder. "Solved by a detective?"

"Don't act stupid Angela; we both know that's the last thing you are."

"I'm retired." I clasped my hands together and casually placed them in my lap. "And you'd be smart to keep in mind that in a few days you'll be retired too."

"You really expect me to believe it's that easy for you?"

"Yes."

"Well, I don't." She jabbed her pen at the folder. "If we don't do something soon that's going to become a cold case and no one will ever get justice! The killer will still be out there hurting innocent people! Is that what you want?"

I rolled my eyes before I reached out to pluck the folder off the desk. "So fucking dramatic." I flipped it open and started to look at the information printed on the sheets. "You must be a hellcat in the sheets when Warrick gets you riled up."

"That is none of your business!" She sputtered.

I smirked to myself and studied her notes. "How is this a cold case? You have a suspect and the last kill was only a year ago."

"Caine thinks other cases should take priority over it for now especially since our DA informs us we don't have any solid evidence to charge Valeria Thompson with the killings."

"How many?"

"Seven."

My intense dislike for reading sloppy detective backlogs had me shutting the folder. "Method?"

"It's all-"

"Summarize."

Dara leaned back into her chair and tapped her pen against the desk. I knew I was aggravating her but why should I apologize when I was having such a good time getting away with it? "Various; her methods range from strangulation to drugs and she always makes it look like an accident. Each scene gave previous detectives no fingers prints except the victims."

"So how'd you connect her?"

"Valeria Thompson runs a brothel here in Vegas. They were all customers of hers."

Ah, no wonder the name had sounded familiar. Her brothel, named V because of her name and not for a female organ, was a competitor for the number one brothel owner in Vegas, Lady Heather. Heather was an interesting character I had met after her daughter had been discovered murdered in the desert a few years back. "But none of them died at the brothel, correct?"

"Only one, the last one, and it was written up as an accident due to autoerotic asphyxiation."

"I never approved that."

"Ecklie didn't care whether you did or not."

All of this must have occurred shortly before he was demoted. I grabbed the folder again and flipped through the sheets until I saw a name I recognized. Super Dave wasn't so super to me now especially since he had never informed me on any of this.

"Does that irritated look on your face mean you're going to help me?"

"No." I shut the folder again and threw it back down. "It just means I'm irritated."

"Bullshit. You're thinking about it. This woman is killing innocent people and you're going to let her continue to get away with it? Tell me one reason why we shouldn't just-"

"My daughter looks at me and sees someone who would never risk her safety."

Dara blinked in surprise. "Angela, I…"

"I want to see her grow up. I want to continue seeing Nick's face when I wake up in the mornings and know I made the right decision when I said yes the first time he asked me out on a date." I looked away from her when I realized I was allowing her to see too deeply inside. I didn't want anyone to see I had doubts about who I really was underneath all my layers of dirt and blood. "I'm not willing to risk the things I've grown accustomed to in my life Dara."

"Love definitely changes a person."

I returned my gaze to hers. _I should deny that_. "Yes, it does." _But I won't._

She nodded quickly and leaned forward to take the folder back. She placed it upon the rest of the pile beside her. "I won't ask you to get involved."

Something in the careful phrasing of that had me pausing. "Don't even think about it Dara."

"You shouldn't assume…"

"I don't assume, I don't guess and I don't go off half-cocked because that's reckless and reckless gets you caught or worse, it gets you killed. You need to leave that case where it is, long forgotten before you find out you've bitten off more than you can chew."

"Don't fucking tell me what to do Angela; you made your choice. I can make mine!"

I rose from my chair as if on fire at hearing the scalding tone of her voice. "You have as much to lose as I do! Think about your family Dara!"

"I do! Every damn day of my life I think about my family! I think about my friends and all the people I've lost and how I was destroyed by those moments!" She rose swiftly to her feet as well. "What about the families of the people she's killed? Who's thinking about them?"

"What are you going to do Dara? Every three seconds a person dies in this world. Are you going to go around and fix all their problems as well? This isn't Gotham City, this isn't some fairy tale where you do what you want and things turn out perfectly. The blood that gets on your hands never completely washes off."

"Maybe you're not scrubbing hard enough."

I suddenly realized I didn't recognize the Dara in front of me. She had a wild look in her eyes, an expression roaring to life that I hadn't noticed until now. Something was fueling her to push me, to push this case until one of us was going to break.

I inhaled sharply and grabbed onto the back of the chair. "He can't hurt you anymore Dara." I watched her like someone did a coiled snake. "He's dead and he's not going to come back."

"Shut up."

"It's still hard to breathe sometimes isn't it? Hard to click off that light and stay certain there's nothing in the shadows but darkness. It can drive a person insane."

"I said shut up."

I merely smiled even as her words grew louder. "I was like that once. I saw his face everywhere I went. I slept with the lights on. I didn't go out." I let go of the chair. "But after a while I came to terms with what happened. I stopped seeing him, stopped dreaming about him and eventually the thoughts of him no longer hurt."

"Don't you dare compare us." Her voice was shaking just like her hand was as she raised it to point at me. "We are nothing alike, nothing!"

"You're scared of an idea Dara, not a man. Edward's dead and you know it, you saw what happened with your own eyes, so that's not the real problem. No, I think it's more the fact that he was able to manipulate you that just eats you alive. It makes you lash out at people around you and it makes you vulnerable."

"Get out of my fucking office."

"No. I'm not done."

"Do not make me throw you out Angela."

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "I'd like to see you try Sweetheart. We both know you can't best me so don't even think about it; you'd just embarrass yourself."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

I noticed my fingers briefly inch towards my knife and wondered if her own hand was going towards her gun.

Her eyes narrowed. "A bullet is a hell of a lot faster than a knife, trust me."

Well, that answered my question. "Does this mean I'm not invited to book club anymore?"

"Get the hell out of my office Angela and I'll think about keeping you on my Christmas card list."

"Surely Warrick knows you still have nightmares. Let me guess, they're the cold sweat ones too. Those were always my favorite."

"Don't you dare bring him into this conversation. Matter of fact, don't even think about him."

She was growling in anger by this point, close to baring her teeth at me, but I stayed where I was. I crossed my arms over my chest. "Is he a touchy subject between us still? I had no clue."

Dara looked like she was about to explode when suddenly she did. She lurched forward for the trashcan and threw up, shoulders shaking. I moved forward immediately to steady her.

"It's okay, try to relax." I attempted to comfort her to the best of my ability. "Don't fight it Dara." I paused when I noticed she was crying. As uncomfortable as I became at that moment I didn't move away. I worried that if I did she'd collapse.

"You must think me really bipolar."

I chuckled as I stepped back to watch her straighten. She lowered herself down into her seat and grabbed for the water bottle on the edge of the desk. "It comes with the territory of being pregnant."

"I'm…" She took a sip from the bottle. "I'm being serious about this case."

"I know you are."

"And you're still not going to help me?"

"I can't Dara and I'm not going to let you risk your life either. I'll find a way to stop you even if I have to get the whole department involved."

She raised her eyes to mine and I sighed at the defeated look that had replaced determination there. "I feel so helpless."

"We all do at one time or another Dara."

"You never do."

"There isn't a day that goes by I don't second guess myself Dara. Am I doing the right thing? Can I quit? Should I? Was everything I did really necessary in the end?" I shrugged. "I don't know those answers but what I do know is this, that was the past. Now I have something I care more about than I do that other stuff; it wasn't easy but I made that decision. Now it's up to you to decide what you want more."

"There's nothing I want more than my family. It's why I'm giving up this line of work in the first place."

"There's no room for the role of killer when you're already a mother and wife Dara."

She looked away to gaze the stacked folders. "It's just that there's so many of them."

"One case file isn't going to make the rest of them disappear."

"The only things I really want to disappear are the nightmares." Dara whispered. "It's been enough time so why can't I let it go?" She looked back up at me again. "All I can think about is how this very date could have been written on my headstone."

I didn't exactly know what to say. I wasn't the best role model for speeches about letting go of a troubled past. For years I had done nothing but cling to mine and allow it to transform me into something dark until I no longer recognized my own reflection. I let my grief control my thoughts and my actions. Had it not been for Nick, I would have completely disappeared.

"Well, it wasn't so focus on that and think about your daughters. They need you to be strong."

She blinked up at me with a surprised look. "My…"

"Do you really think Madison would want you to live your life like this?"

1717171717171717

In the end, I left her there with her thoughts. I took the stack of files with me and gave them to a clerk with explicit detail not to give them Dara access to them. The woman stuttered something about protocol which I ignored before glaring at her and walking off.

I found Director Caine in her office and knocked on the open door. She glanced up and with a smile slid off her reading glasses. "Yes Mrs. Stokes?"

"This case." I dropped the Thompson file on top of the one she had been reading. "I want to know why it's being shelved."

She cocked an eyebrow at me before directing her attention to the file. "Ah, Valeria Thompson." She looked back up in an almost nonchalant manner. "I believe notes indicate insufficient evidence, lack of witnesses, and the issue of backing from the DA as key problem areas."

"Those types of things haven't stopped other cases from being reopened or continued in the past."

"I thought we had this conversation before about how I don't intend to run this department in the same manner Ecklie saw fit."

"The very fact that an assistant coroner documented findings on an official report should be a concern for you; not how you stack up against Ecklie when it comes for review time with the big wigs that sign your checks."

"It might be a good thing to remember who signs yours."

"Jordan King was killed last year. Regulation states that for a case to be considered cold…"

Caine lowered her glasses onto her desk abruptly. "What is it that concerns you so deeply about this case standing Angela? You've shown no interest in it prior to this conversation." She leaned back in her seat. "In fact, I don't remember you signing out any of this information."

"I didn't. I took this from Detective Waters this morning."

"Care to explain why you did so?"

This wasn't going anywhere but downhill and fast. "The woman has enough to deal with at the moment, not to mention she's trying to retire sometime this century. I merely wanted an answer to one of the many questions she had about it but couldn't seem to get answered. Thompson is going to continue killing these men and if we don't keep an eye on her, she's never going to stop."

"I'm sorry but at the present time, we don't have the adequate funds or man power to do so. Believe me Angela; I would like nothing more than to get solid, clean evidence to pin on her but at the moment my hands are tied."

Actually, they're not at the moment but they could be. Now for the tricky part, duct tape or rope?

"I've given no indication that this will forever remain shelved. I understand the concern over it and I appreciate your dedication as well as Detective Waters but my decision remains final for now."

Caine was a perfect picture image of composure that at the moment I envied. Allowing emotions to control what I said and did was still taking some getting used to but I had learned to enjoy it. I felt more alive now.

"Is that what you told the victim's families?"

"I've told them all I can, we all have, but I'm not here to give them false hope. That's not our job."

Lips twisted, I snatched the file back. "That's just great. Just forget I said anything." I turned abruptly to leave, irrationally angry at something I knew neither myself or Caine had any true, legal control over.

"I know seeing Dara upsets you because you're her friend but there's only so much the limits of the law allows us to do."

"Don't remind me." I slammed the door behind me.


	18. Episode 3x18 FINALE

**A/N: **_Well, this is it. I do believe I've gone as far as I can with this and I hope that you have enjoyed the ride. I have definitely enjoyed writing it. Thank you again for all the reviews and comments over the last three stories. It has been a pleasure. Thank you._

**Episode 3x18: The Promise of a Better Tomorrow (Finale)**

It was late but I wasn't tired. I didn't make a mention to Dara that I copied the case file before I returned it to her. I didn't mention that I was going to check to make sure she returned everything either. She played good detective and did as I expected, not a single file missing from archives at the end of the day. She went home to her loving family, to the one place demons weren't supposed to follow her. How long now had I been doing the same? I wasn't fooled though and I knew deep down neither was Dara. No matter how many locks you had on your door, there was always a way inside.

"What do you think about upgrading?"

I fixed my attention away from the television to focus on Nick. "Upgrading?" I echoed. "Don't you think a thousand channels of nothing are already enough?"

He smiled at me in that familiar way I had come to know and love. It was a look of content and complete adoration that no longer made me uncomfortable. "I was thinking more about upgrading to a larger home actually."

"You want to move?"

"Well, Andrea's room used to be the office and seeing as how you fixed the other spare room to be doggytopia…"

"They needed a playroom." I glared at Nick. "Don't act like you didn't agree to the idea."

Nick let out a delighted laugh. "I came home to find it already fixed up with dog beds and toys. I couldn't exactly say no to it."

I continued to glare at him. "Would you have? You think it's stupid don't you? Why in the world would the dogs need their own room with fluffy beds and accessories for them to play with?"

"I think I love you for thinking of them with as much love as you do for me and our baby."

My frown deepened. "I don't love our dogs more than I love the two of you. They're just animals."

"It pained you to say that last part just now didn't it?"

"No." I crossed my arms and pouted. He looked at me with the same unbelieving expression he looked at so many suspects with and I huffed in frustration. "Maybe a little."

"I loved it, I love you." He kissed me before shifting back again as the sound of Andrea stirring came floating over the baby monitor. Neither of us spoke until everything had gone silent again, Andrea obviously just rearranging herself in her bed before falling back to sleep. Nick reached out to stroke my arm. "You do realize though that they won't sleep in there. They stay in Andrea's room now."

I knew that. It seemed our dogs had taken a liking to sleeping at the foot of her crib. I was worried at first that they would bother her but the second I tried to make them leave, Andrea protested with a loud cry and trembling bottom lip, both dogs actually looking up at me with those large, pleading eyes of theirs.

Dara was right; I had gone soft. I wasn't the same person and I don't think I ever want to be her again. Killing didn't fulfill anything inside of me anymore. Rather, it left a void that made me ache and the only time I felt at peace was around my friends and family. I had somehow managed to take the pain from losing Andy and transformed all that blood and tears into something positive. I had made a life for myself, one I loved and nourished; one I cherished above anything else in existence.

I had created life instead of taking it away. Maybe I wasn't so resistant to change after all.

"I love this house." I cleared my throat. "But you're right; maybe we need a bigger place."

"We can start going through some brochures this weekend."

I reached out to take his hand and thread my fingers through his. "I love you."

Nick lifted my hand to kiss the back of it. "I love you. What do you say we go to bed?"

"I say, sounds good and does it include a massage?" I smiled at hearing the sound of his delighted laughter again.

"Only if you promise to grope you in very inappropriate places."

"Oh, most definitely."

1818181818

My cell phone was ringing. I reached blindly for it and opened my eyes when I came up empty handed. I always left it in the exact same place. Blinking to clear my blurry vision, I sat up and realized I was alone. I was alone and not in my bed; well, at least not the one I shared with Nick.

"Are you going to answer that?"

My head snapped towards the door and I stared with heart in my throat at the sight of Andy standing in the doorway.

He flashed that slanted, amused smile at me. "It's going to keep ringing if you don't answer it."

"It's not important."

"You don't know that." He approached to perch down at the edge of the bed, those brown eyes gazing at me softly. "It could be someone that needs your help."

"Andy?"

"You really should think about answering that before it's too late."

My attention shifted in the direction he was staring to find my cell phone on the night stand beside the bed. "This isn't real is it?"

"Of course it's real; it's as real as you want it to be."

I reached out with a shaking hand to touch him and almost sobbed as I connected with the flesh of his arm. "Andy, I'm so sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for Angie. You always did everything you could to look out for me."

"You died because of me."

"There was nothing you could have done to stop that. I died in an attempt to protect you and I wouldn't change that for anything."

"Don't you dare say that to me."

"I saved you from a life that would have only ended in him taking your life as well as so many others. Together, we stopped him but you can't hold onto that forever. It's time to accept the past and move on." Andy reached out to grab my hand. "You have someone else now to look after you in the same way you always looked out for me."

"Please don't leave me."

"I can't stay." He squeezed my hand and stood up. "I love you Angie and I'm always, always here." He smiled softly and gestured to the phone again. "Answer that okay?"

"But-"

"Answer it."

I jerked awake. My cell phone was ringing and Nick grumbled beside me as I almost fell out of the bed grabbing for it. "Angela Stokes."

"You have to help me."

"Dara?"

"Please. You have to come help me." She was whispering into the phone, voice hoarse as if she had been screaming or crying, maybe a bit of both. "Please Angela."

I sat up in the sheets. "Where are you?"

"You know where."

I didn't hesitate as I heard the line go dead, quickly slipping out of the bed and scrambling for my clothes in the dark.

"Angie?" Nick's sleepy voice drifted from behind me. "Where are you going baby?"

"I have to go out."

"Out? But-"

"I just have to go." I snatched my keys from the dresser but hesitated. "I'll be right back." God, please, let me be right back.

"But where-"

I leaned over him to press my lips to his. "Trust me okay?"

"You know I do."

"I do." I kissed him again before I pulled back. "I'll explain everything when I get back."

"Be careful."

Even in the dark I could tell he was frowning but he said nothing else. By the time I returned home, if I in fact did, I would have to make up an elaborate story as to why I rushed out as if I was on fire. I wasn't going to concentrate on that however; at the moment all that mattered was reaching Dara.

I only hoped I wasn't too late.

1818181818

The fact that she would return to the same place we had been held hostage made me rethink her sanity. Too many bad memories were trapped inside this building where Edward kept us. I didn't like returning to it but I had no choice. Dara needed my help.

"Angela?"

I lowered my flashlight at the sight of her in the basement doorway.

"I wasn't sure you'd come."

"Well, I'm here. Why are you?" She disappeared from view and I had no choice but to follow her down the steep stairs. "Dara? Damn it, answer me."

"I really, really wanted to do this on my own but I couldn't go through with it without you here."

I stepped through the door and locked eyes on the sight of Valeria Thompson stretched out on the floor. She wasn't moving, her hands and feet cuffed with garbage ties, a scarf covering her eyes. "Fuck my life, what did you do? Is she-"

"Alive, for now." Dara stared at the woman. "I've learned a few things from you Angela. The dose of tranquilizer I gave her should keep her quiet for at least a few more hours."

I've seen crack addicts calmer than she was at this moment. She was so wired she was almost jumping out of her skin. "You need help."

"That's why I called you."

"I mean from a professional. This isn't right."

"You think I need a shrink?" She let out a dry laugh. "Of all the people in the world, you think I'm the one that needs the shrink? No, no, the only thing I need is for this to be over. This… this thing is killing people and getting away with it. She's destroying families and, and just… just going about her daily life as if nothing is fucking wrong. Well, it is! It's wrong." Dara glared at me. "And we're going to do something about it so I can sleep at night."

"Killing her isn't going to rid you of anything. It's only going to make matters worse."

Dara drug her fingers through her hair, pulling almost painfully at the long strands as she began to pace. "I can't bring another child into this world knowing that evil is out there. It's out there and it's free and one of these days it's going to catch up with us. It's going to destroy us Angela, can't you see that?" She stopped to direct her pleading eyes at me. "Help me. Just this once, help me."

"I helped you before and look what's happened to you."

"Nothing has- I'm fine! Why can't anyone see that?" She pointed at Valeria Thompson. "You live to do this! She is evil and deserves to die! You can kill her and not feel any guilt over it because it's what she brought on herself!"

"Let the justice system take care of this Dara. Go back home to your family and think about seeing someone before you cause harm to yourself or the baby."

"We both know the justice system isn't going to do shit to her but you, you can help me finish this. You know I won't tell a soul. I'll never turn on you because… because I need you. I need your help."

Gazing at her, I realized this wasn't about the act itself that was compelling Dara to act so irrationally. She wasn't in this to dirty her hands but more so to experience it through the eyes of someone in control. I would do the work and she would gain some sense of satisfaction out of witnessing the deed. I had met others like this before. The thrill came from watching someone die, not from actually killing them.

"I won't do it."

"What?"

"I won't kill her." I shook my head and reached into my jacket. "But if it's what you really want, here." I tossed my knife down to land at her feet. "You can do it."

Dara eyed the knife as if it was a coiled snake. Her eyes darted between it and me for several seconds before she leaned down to pick up the weapon. "But-"

"It won't take long; it's all rather quick actually. Pick a place with a good vein or artery and slide the blade from side to side almost as if cutting a Thanksgiving turkey. Bone can be tricky so it's best to not cut too deeply and please move away from the body as soon as you do. It would be a shame to get blood all over those nice maternity clothes of yours wouldn't it?"

"I don't know if I can do this."

"You don't have a choice. If you want this woman dead, you're going to have to do it yourself."

"I don't think I can."

I started to circle her, eyes locked on her face as she directed her attention down to Valeria's body. "I'm not going to kill her. You know what they say, if you want something done, you gotta do yourself."

"I can't."

"You can. Just stab him and get this over with Dara. I don't have all night to baby you."

Her head shot up and she glared at me. "Her, stab her."

"No, you heard me correctly." I crossed my arms over my chest. "This isn't about Valeria Thompson; it never has been. This is about Edward."

"It's-"

"You want revenge on him in any way possible but that's never going to happen. He's dead. That part of your life is over and nothing you do is going to change what happened to you. Killing Valeria, killing any of the numerous sickos out there, isn't going to fix the past."

"But you've killed so many…"

"And it didn't change how I felt inside. It certainly didn't bring back Andy." I cleared my throat. "It's not going to bring back Madison either."

"She deserves to die."

"Then kill her." I actually bumped her shoulder with my own to push her closer to Valeria. "Do it and get this over with."

"But-"

"Kill her or let her go."

"I can't do that."

I wasn't sure what to which part she was answering. I pushed her forward again. "Do it." We both watched as Valeria began to move, slowly wakening from the drug. "Do it before she wakes up and begs for her life."

"Angela, I don't-"

"Do it!" I screamed as I got right in her face. "Kill her! Gut her like a fucking animal and watch her bleed! That will solve everything won't it? It'll take away your nightmares; help you breathe easier at night when you feel like you're all alone in the dark! It will bring back your daughter! It will make the scars fade and when you look at yourself in the mirror, you won't see weakness anymore!"

"That's not true!" She screamed back. "That's not…" She began to sob and I stepped forward to grab her just as she collapsed.

I lowered her to the floor and stroked her hair back from her face. "It'll never be true." I whispered. "But it can be better."

The knife fell free from her hand and landed at our feet. "Oh god, help me. Please help me Angela."

"I will Dara. I promise."

1818181818

"You never really told me what happened."

Nick was right; it had been almost two weeks since that night and I had hardly spoken about it. I didn't know exactly where to begin. After I had managed to calm Dara down, we had worked together to put Valeria into the trunk of my car.

She was still deeply inebriated but alive. I ordered Dara to head back for home and I drove until I reached Valeria Thompson's brothel. It wasn't easy to do but I managed to dump the woman in her bedroom. The girls that she employed were busy or extremely baked so it wasn't hard to sneak back out.

It had been a huge risk but what other choice did I have? The woman had to be dropped back off and seen alive. The drugs would make sure she had no memory really of anything that happened. Hopefully her memory would be fuzzy enough to blame the blackout on excessive drinking or any other drugs the brothel owner partook in at her establishment.

"Dara needed me."

"Rick told me she's been in therapy for a few days now."

I looked away from my coffee mug and nodded. "She's still having a tough time with what happened with Edward."

"And what about you? You're the one that had to..."

"You don't have to say it."

"If I don't, it's like I haven't accepted it and I don't want you to feel as if I'm not there for you when you need me."

"I know you're here for me Nick. I've never doubted that."

He ran his hand down my back in a comforting motion. "When you want to talk about it…"

It wasn't high on my list of priorities. I gazed into Nick's brown eyes and saw them as I always did, trusting and open to anything I said. "I had to kill him." I cleared my throat. "It was either him or us and I wasn't left with a choice. I've accepted that and moved on but Dara… Her past with Edward is something none of us will ever understand. Her nightmares started long before that night he took us."

"I never fully understood why he took you as well. He was obsessed with Dara but to take you as well?"

"I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time Nick."

"I'm sorry you both had to go through that and that you had to… to kill him. I know you don't like talking to people but-"

I reached out to capture his face with my hands. "Hey, I promise that if I need to talk to anyone, I'll talk to you." I smiled softly as I stroked his cheek and leaned forward to kiss him softly. When Andrea began to fuss in the living room from her pen, I rose from the table. "You have to go to work soon."

"I could always call in sick."

"You could but you won't." I bent to kiss him one more time before I straightened. "And as tempted as I am at the thought, we could use the money especially if we're going to move into a bigger home."

"You really mean that, don't you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I know you can be a little resistant to change baby; I just want you to be sure this is what you want too."

"I wouldn't say yes unless I meant it."

Nick rose from the table and he followed me into the living room. At the sight of us, Andrea raised her arms towards me. "Mama! Up! Up!"

"You always want up." I was smiling however as I scooped her into my arms. "It's a good thing I don't mind isn't it?" I tickled her stomach and she giggled. "Say goodbye to Daddy. He has to go to work now."

She watched me wave then repeated the action, wiggling her chubby fingers at Nick. "Bye Dada."

"Bye baby." He kissed her forehead before kissing me on the lips. "Baby number two." He chuckled as I glared at him but I didn't stop him from kissing me again. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now go before I get a call from Catherine telling me I'm distracting her Supervisor from work again."

"Filling Grissom's shoes have been a lot easier than I imagined but I still miss him."

"Me too." And I really did. The lab wasn't the same since he left and it actually made me wonder how much longer I was going to work for the LVPD. I had never been one to settle down in one area but now that I had connections and a family there seemed to be no alternative. Would I want to settle down completely? Could I quit my job to completely focus on my family?

There was also the subject matter of Dara. She was going to need support from all of us, including myself for days, maybe years to come. Could I commit myself to that as well? I couldn't let her sink into some morbid darkness that I had a hand in creating. Edward was gone but I didn't want to see Dara slowly disappear into nothing as well.

Truth was, I had a lot to do before I thought of truly retiring, none of which had to do with taking another life. No, things were now about preserving life and I had discovered I was okay with that.


End file.
